Jim is seen in some clips – a sort of The Best of Jim Marchese – many of which feature him explaining how important he is to the Federal and State of New Jersey legal systems. He doesn’t really need to be a lawyer because he’s paid more to advise lawyers. He’s also worked with the Federal prosecutors who handled the case against the Giudices. In other words, Little Jim “Short Torts” Marchese is F. Lee Bailey, Atticus Finch and Alger Hiss, all rolled into one. Too bad he’s having those character issues. He now realizes that he had the Giudices all wrong. They’re just a fun loving couple and he was only judging them based on what he’d seen on TV. He also realizes that he and his wife Amber are better situated for a second season if they create drama involving the most important couple of Bravolebrities ever to hit the airwaves. Keep your friends close, but keep the stars closer, even if you have to sacrifice all of your ethical standards. Jim doesn’t see any problem with tweeting like a jerk, though. The “character” committee doesn’t pay attention to things like that, according to Jim. If it’s taken them over a year to consider Jim for the bar, it’s more than likely because they’ve yet to discover any traits in him which would be considered of good character. You don’t get extra points for being a prick.
Jim says that he and Amber have gotten death threats, with people hoping that he and Amber get cancer, even at his place of business, due to the tone of his tweets. Really people? Lighten up. All the Bravolebrities are a little nutty and rude at times, but that’s really not necessary or nice. He says that he’s defending his family’s honor, then says that he’s just fooling around and having a blast. Nothing is funnier than insulting people on Twitter by questioning their IQs. When Andy points out that Teresa 1 and Juicy got more heat on Twitter than Jim does and didn’t flame the world in return, Jim says that maybe he should be paid to quit. That’s a thought, but Jim was already paid for screwing around with cancer drugs, so I think he’s gotten enough money for doing nothing more than being an arrogant and greedy ass. He then proceeds to tell Dina that she doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to understand him. Teresa tells him that the next time she needs someone to dance on her grave, she’ll know who to call. Jim would feel right at home with Kim G when it comes to that.
There’s some chatter about the trip to Florida and everybody wants to throw Jim to the alligators. This leads to some more clips where Jim is talking about Rino trying to fuck Victoria Gotti and then hollering that Rino fucked Teresa 2’s Mom. He and Amber try to explain that it was a joke, because that’s some funny stuff right there. Jim said that everyone was saying that he didn’t have a penis and was compared to a whale’s vagina. Dina clarifies that and states that what she said was Jim was the douche that cleans the whale’s vagina. Big difference and so much better. Andy mentions a tweet from Victoria Gotti where she quoted he father, John “The Teflon Don” Gotti: “I never lie because I don’t fear anyone. You only lie when you’re afraid.” Now, THIS IS funny stuff. Victoria, who has lied about all sorts of things, quoting a Mob boss who wanted the world to believe that he was just a successful businessman.
Rino claims that he never told Victoria Gotti that he had sex with his mother in law. Teresa 2 and Nicole are understandably upset that this rumor ever made it to television. I think he may have said it to impress Victoria because he wanted to have a relationship with her. I don’t think he he actually did it. It’s 50 shades of disgusting to even think about. Teresa 1 says that the only reason she told Dina about the rumor was so that Dina could deliver the message to the twins while they were in Florida. Dina says that Teresa 1 could have sent a text and accomplished the same thing. Teresa 1 insists that she was being a good friend, and in typical Teresa 1 fashion offers nothing that even remotely sounds like an apology for her part in this mess.
Jim and Bobby are still having some sort of domestic dispute. Their long time friendship is coming apart at the seams because Jim thinks Bobby is a famewhore for trying so hard to get on the show, and a little girl for hiding in the bathroom while accusations of cheating flew around the room in Florida. Jim says that he was goofing with Bobby but likes to be intentionally rude. He sort of apologizes for the mother in law rumor, but then blames Dina for bringing it up during four separate camera shoots. He’s also disappointed in the group as a whole for not congratulating Amber for being cancer free for 5 years. Juicy tells Jim that he’s guilt of Sec. 207-4, woman abuse. Juicy promptly went back into his coma.
Teresa 1 and Teresa 2 start on each other over the “clink-clink”, “Karma’s a bitch” comments Teresa 2 made in one of her talking heads. Teresa 2 thinks that Teresa 1 brought Victoria Gotti and her filthy rumor to the show to take the negativity over her own crimes out of the spotlight. She also thinks that Teresa 1 doesn’t care if she hurts people. Teresa 1 says that she’s never hurt anyone, apparently forgetting those who provided services and materials and were never paid for them. Teresa 2 says that being on the Real Housewives is like The Wizard of Oz, with people who need brains and hearts. I really can’t disagree with her. Rather than apologize, again, Teresa 1 says that she doesn’t know if the rumor is true or not. She does concede that she wouldn’t like it if someone accused Juicy of sleeping with her mother.
Andy asks each of the women to explain what, if anything, they’ve learned from this season. Teresa 2 says that alcohol and Housewives don’t mix. Nicole says that she wants to stay real. Amber says that she wouldn’t cry so much and will try to keep her husband off Twitter. Good luck, Amber. Melissa says that the little things don’t matter and there’s always a bigger picture. Dina says that when you walk away from something, remember why you did. She’s all about living in her truth – not the truth, just hers. All of the he said, she said doesn’t live well in her soul.
Teresa Giudice starts by apologizing (finally, an apology) to her fans and wants them to know that she let them down and is determined to be a better person. She also tells Andy that she regrets 80% of the last 6 years. She’s most afraid of being without her daughters and wants to take them with her. Does she mean she wants to take them to prison? It was hard breaking up her friendship with Jacqueline, and her proudest moment was the birth of her daughter, Audriana. While Andy takes her hand, Teresa says that this is probably going to be her last reunion but she may come back to do a cooking show or something along those lines.
So that’s a wrap on Season 6. If I was a betting woman, which I am, my money would be on Teresa returning to Bravo after her sentence is complete. She’s got a lot of loyal fans who are rooting for her, in spite of her legal indiscretions. Everybody loves a comeback story and Bravo loves a big story. Teresa Giudice can deliver both. Let’s hope that Danbury has classes in humility.
I don’t want to leave you with the impression that a return to Bravo by Teresa would be a good thing. Bravo, not unlike most reality television, has become something very dark. It can’t really be called entertainment because, when the “reality” has become real, it’s been a series of tragedies. In each of the cities where the Housewives have lived and worked, there have been assaults, divorces, bankruptcies, crimes resulting in prison sentences and a suicide. Not all of these things can be directly attributed to simply being on the shows, but, as many of us have said, it takes a certain type of person to appear on them in the first place. Something has to be wrong with people who will do anything to be on TV, risking not only their reputations, but any shot at gainful employment, outside of more reality television, when their contracts aren’t renewed. It also says something about us, the viewers. If you can maintain a sense of humor about it all, so much the better. Social media tells a different story, though, -one in which viewers become personally involved in the lives of reality stars. Viewers think they know them and even admire them, all the while knowing and admitting that much of what they see is edited to the point of being nothing more than cartoonish figures playing roles in a theater of the absurd. In December, the Discovery Channel is going to air a show in which a man will attempt to be devoured by an anaconda. We should pray that Bravo doesn’t get wind of it.