Aviva and Ramona were supposed to attend one last brunch at Sonja’s borrowed Hampton’s house but Ramona called to tell Sonja that she wasn’t feeling well and couldn’t make it.  Sonja knew that Ramona was just avoiding her and that things aren’t quite right between them.  She took Ramona’s absence as an excuse to fill in Aviva about how Ramona is projecting her problems onto Sonja and Aviva tried to tell her how much they really love each other.

Ramona was feeling well enough to meet with LuAnn and Carole to tour a designer show house, where Ramona decided to peel some of the removable wallpaper off the wall.  When they stepped out onto the patio,  LuAnn’s line of melamine tableware just happened to be on display.  I’m sure the makers of Corelle are shaking in their boots.   The best sales pitch LuAnn could offer for it was that you can’t break it.  Ramona found another use for it by tossing a plate into the pool, proving that it makes a very good floating Frisbee.   The three ladies flopped onto one of the beds and talked about Sonja’s financial situation and her townhouse which is for sale or for rent or in trusteeship or has been condemned by the City of New York due to plumbing issues.   LuAnn, in her talking head, said that the conversation made her uncomfortable which didn’t stop her from taking notes for future reference.  Carole then headed over to Heather’s rental to tell her all about Sonja’s money woes.  Nobody’s secrets are safe and Jimmy Buffet started playing in my head,   “You can hear it on the coconut telegraph
Can’t keep nothin’ under their hat
You can hear ’em on the coconut telegraph
Sayin’ who did dis and dat
Dis and dat dis and dat”

Kristen visited a modeling agent in the city and found out that she’s too old for the type of modeling she used to do.  He suggested that she move to Milwaukee or Chicago or Atlanta, secondary markets where her attributes might still be put to some use.   He tried to reassure her by telling her that she still had some mileage.

Aviva and LuAnn met up at the Duck Walk Vineyard and sampled some wine while waiting for Ramona and Sonja.  After trying one which was made with grapefruit, Aviva said that it was too acidic, like urine.  I can’t explain, nor do I want to know, how she knows what urine tastes like.  When Ramona and Sonja finally showed up, it was obvious that the two weren’t on the best of terms.  LuAnn asked Sonja about the toaster oven and what had become of it.  Sonja got a little testy stating that her brand is bigger than just a mere toaster over.   After all, there were accompanying mitts and tongs.  Aviva said that when she thinks Sonja, she thinks sexy which led Ramona to comment that Sonja should produce a line of sex toys.

The foursome took their wine outside and Ramona wanted to clear the air with Aviva.  She said that she made peace for the sake of the group and Aviva said that she’s fine with everybody except Carole.   Does she mean Heather, too?  She can’t mean Heather.  We’ve been watching and didn’t see any budding friendship between Heather and Aviva.   LuAnn  piped up to tell Aviva that she goes a little overboard.  Aviva told LuAnn that she’s a fence sitter.  Sonja said that LuAnn is always neutral which is why Sonja didn’t marry royalty.  According to Sonja, marrying royalty means that you put up or shut up.  LuAnn said that she has an opinion and her opinion is that Sonja is a bitch.   Yep, no equivocation going on there.   Ramona jumped in to offer advice to Sonja on how to promote her brand to department stores.  Sonja then went into some sort of rant about all of the things she has going – lingerie, wigs, handbags, shoes, gloves, skin care and what I think was a line of jewelry called the Yellow and White Diamond Collection.  She insisted that she’s told all of them about it, over and over, but it just goes in one ear and out the other.

Heather stopped by Carole’s apartment for a night of beer, tequila and pizza.  Carole said that she wanted to have a little freshening done – a facelift on her apartment.   Heather talked about her dueling lawsuits between Yummie Tummie and Spanx.  Carole’s neighbor, Tripp, came over to ask Carole to dog sit and stayed for some tequila and pizza.  Carole said that she wanted to get rid of the piano, which her ex-boyfriend Russ used to play.   When she met with the contractor,  she told him that she wanted to turn her existing office into a bigger closet.  Her other, even stranger, idea, was to turn her kitchen into her office, as she doesn’t really use it anyway.

Sonja was home cleaning the bathroom when Ramona came by.  Ramona wants Sonja to start looking for a 2 or 3 bedroom apartment in case she loses her townhouse.  Sonja just waved it all off.  She has angels on her side and thinks only positive thoughts.  She told Ramona that she lives in the moment, not in fear and has to come from a place of strength.   Her answer to all of her legal and financial woes is to light her abundance candle and hope for the best.   That’s great if you’re Peter Pan.  Ramona was being kind when she said that Sonja has her head buried in the sand.

Aviva and her husbands had a family dinner before sending Harrison off to camp.  Reid warned the boy that he shouldn’t behave the way he did at camp, by sneaking to the girls’ rooms and playing with them.  They’re all weird – every one of them.

Sonja was supposed to have a date with her very young boyfriend, Ben, but he stood her up.  Sonja called one of the two Rachel interns to spend the night with her, because she was upset and lonely.

Bravo producers Sonja arranged a day at the spa for the entire group.   Each of the women chose their particular indulgence – mud baths, massages, hot tubs and facials – but Ramona and Sonja sat and talked about Ben.  Ramona doesn’t approve of the age difference between Sonja and her boyfriend, after considering that Avery was asked out by a 21-year-old college senior, so she called Ben’s mother.  She said that Sonja thinks between her legs and not with her head.  Sonja went ballistic and Aviva called Ramona a meddler.  Even Kristen told Ramona that it wasn’t her business and suggested that Ramona was jealous of Sonja’s date.   Ramona responded by throwing her wine in Kristen’s face, but Kristen just splashed her right back.  Ramona stormed off to fix her freshly coiffed hair, then returned to give Kristen a piece of her mind.   She called Kristen an instigator, told her her opinion is not wanted and said that she isn’t really her friend.

In the previews, there were scenes of some more water sports and things being thrown.  Ramona is on her ‘coaster and she doesn’t like the pretty new girl.

Empress