Before they took their road show to the Hamptons, the ladies had some business to deal with in the city. Ramona hired a photographer to take picture of herself with the family dog, Coco, which was to be made into a calendar for Avery’s dorm room. I’m sure Avery is thrilled to tears. Sonja happened to stop by with her new dog, Marley, who shared a glass of water with her mistress. Sonja had an entire law firm camping out at her house, trying to find a few bucks to keep a roof over her head. She has big plans for the future including some new business ventures. It sounds like the toaster oven idea has gone to appliance heaven because now Sonja is talking about producing a line of shirts and taking her Caburlesque routine to Europe. Ramona, not unlike Harry, and just about every one else in Sonja’s life, would just like to see her concentrate on one thing and work at keeping her house.
Heather and Jonathan met with a hearing specialist and Jax went through a series of tests to determine the likelihood that surgery may restore some of his hearing. This kid has been through a lot in his short life and his parents are devoting everything they have to make him better, even when the odds are against them. There’s nothing about Heather that could be criticized during this episode. She and her family are amazing and loving human beings.
Kristen and Aviva took their kids for a play date to make soap, of all things. Kristen wants to know that she’d like to be friends with Aviva but doesn’t want to be in the middle of the ghostwriter debate. Aviva shut her down, telling her that she didn’t want to hear any negativity in front of the children. In case Kristen didn’t understand the first warning, Aviva told her to “shut the f** up” in front of the children. Aviva is single-handedly redefining the meaning of crazy.
Everyone’s went off to the Hamptons for the Fourth of July. Heather and her family rented a house and Carole met up with them there. Carole wanted to talk about Aviva but Heather, who was waiting for a call from Jax’s doctor, didn’t want to hear about it. She turned the conversation to where it should have gone – the concerns over a little boy facing a lifetime of challenges. She cried to Carole, telling her that she would be happy if she could just fix one thing for him and surgery on his ears could be that one thing. She also said, in her talking head, that Carole needs to stop obsessing over the book. I think all of us echoed an “amen” for that. The doctor called Heather and delivered the good news, that Jax was good candidate for the surgery with a good prognosis, to boot.
Ramona and Mario were at their house in the Hanptons, playing tennis with LuAnn and Jacques, when Josh and Kristen arrived. The overly controlling Ramona has a fit over the couples lack of proper tennis footwear. Kristen talked to Ramona about Heather’s party and Ramona’s decision to be a no-show. Ramona doesn’t care for Kristen having the audacity to question her. She tells Kristen that it’s none of her business, and she should just sit down and look pretty. Both of them call the other a hypocrite and another weekend in the Hamptons is off to a great start.
Ramona held a dinner party for the entire group. Having just come off the high from her beat-down with Kristen, she was ready to confront Sonja and her financial problems. Ramona heard that Sonja’s burlesque act was raunchy – the Countess was there and confirmed that it was. LuAnn is very good at carrying stories and getting in the middle of things that really aren’t her business. Sonja got upset with Ramona and told her that she’s not a good friend to her. She said that Ramona couldn’t handle a day in her life and has no idea what kinds of things she goes through all the time. Aviva joined them to try to make peace between them, reminding them they’re good friends, sisters even, and that this too shall pass. Ramona and Sonja hugged and kissed, and things did look just the tiniest bit better between them. Meanwhile, Mario and Heather were talking about golf and cheating. Mario said that the best cheaters are the ones who get away with it – in every sense of the word. Not the smartest thing he could have said on camera and within earshot of Ramona.
Finally, there was a clambake at a house that Aviva borrowed from a friend. This made Kristen very happy, because that was also the name of an Elvis movie. Carole and Mario are demonstrating different gestures and using Italian terms, all of which translate to “F**k you”. Aviva interrupts to drag Carole off for another conversation about, what else, the damned book. Aviva started by setting the ground rules for the discussion including what words and terms were verboten. Then it was time to argue about ghostwriters and editors and Bill Whitworth. My eyes didn’t start to twitch this week – instead they began to close, because I’d already come to terms with and resolved this issue in my head weeks ago. Nonetheless, they go on and on in the same circular argument, with neither of them really getting any closer to resolution than they had before.
Heather joined them, trying to get the two to stop the nonsense, to no avail. Then LuAnn dropped by, literally. She fell on Carole’s ankle while trying to sit down. Her attempts at peace didn’t work, either. When LuAnn and Heather gave up and left, Aviva told Carole that she’d read Carole’s new book, which surprised Carole, as it hadn’t been released yet. Aviva said that she got a galley copy from her friends in the industry. She then told Carole how wonderful the book was, what a great writer she is, yada, yada, yada. I don’t know if I would have trusted this new and improved Aviva, full of nothing but kind words and glowing reviews. Don’t pet the snake. They’re known for shedding their skin.
Carole was recording the audio version of her book. Good thing it was caught on camera or there might have been accusations that Bill Whitworth sounds just like her.
Oh, and this was the second week without Amanda. Nice.