“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because I’m smart.”
That’s the tagline I’m giving to Lisa Vanderpump. With the exception of Carlton, who, by studying every earlier episode of the HWs knew enough to hitch her wagon to Lisa’s, all of the other women seem to resent Lisa. (I didn’t mention Joyce because she seems to be a nonentity, for the most part) Her crime is being smarter than they are, not that that would take very much. So, if you were expecting a recap of last night’s episode, let me apologize because it’s not going to happen. As a blogger, when one of the franchises starts to wind down, you start to experience some battle fatigue and it becomes very difficult to find anything interesting or humorous in what’s going on. Instead, this is how I see the dynamic of what these mostly silly women are trying to do – to us and to themselves – with little success.
Brandi, Kyle, Yolanda and Kim have taken it upon themselves to expose what they want us to believe is the evil Lisa. She’s the one with the power to have people deported. She’s been called manipulative, calculating, Bobby Fischer-esque and, heavens to Murgatroyd, smart like a fox. They say all of these things as if they’re bad, as if being smart enough to outwit a group of women who appear to lack the brain power to blow their own noses is the worst kind of character trait. These four, all of whom who are stuck in some time-warp of days gone by, ridicule and denigrate Lisa for her smarts and accomplishments. They don’t see that what they have – wonderful children, nice homes, etc. – doesn’t make them any less than Lisa, just different, but they can’t seem to get around the notion that all they have is what they once had. They’re not above making fun of her accent, often using their talking heads to imitate her in an effort to be funny. While Lisa is running businesses, they are working at trying to keep a youthful appearance through injections, fillers, plastic surgery, and slowly morphing into unrecognizable versions of themselves.
This isn’t the only season where we’ve seen this happen. Adrienne Maloof joined forces with Kyle to do the same thing. Perhaps Adrienne, deep down, knew that her business woman title came from inheriting a family business and being relegated to third fiddle while her brothers ran the show. Women can do the strangest things to one another all while espousing their girl’s-girl, we are women, hear us roar battle-cry. Nothing among these women could be further from the truth. They revel in each and every flaw they can expose, even resorting to downright lies about Lisa – including the latest bit of stupidity of going on a podcast and telling listeners about a bankruptcy.
Every one of them has the means and the opportunity to better themselves. Instead of going back to school, to learn something useful, they bemoan their lack of education, come up with hair-brained ideas for starting a business – sorry, Kyle, but I’m just not buying the store you supposedly own. Nope, it’s better to sit back, get some more fillers and blame Lisa for everything that’s gone wrong in their lives for the past few years.
Yes, Lisa is smart and successful and has been married for over thirty years. These are the kinds of things other women should celebrate. Kyle, Kim, Brandi and Yolanda don’t see it that way. Maybe Lisa serves as a reminder of the things they don’t have, can’t or aren’t willing to do, or maybe they just can’t get beyond their own past. It’s hard, particularly for women, to look in the mirror and see how we look, what we’ve accomplished or not accomplished. It takes an incredible amount of confidence and a sense of self-worth to realize that our beauty and success is measured in different ways. It all equals out in the end, if we give ourselves some credit and a chance to see it that way. It also requires introspection and, from what we’ve seen, most of these women don’t understand it.
This doesn’t mean that I think Lisa is without flaws and that I’m submitting her name to the Vatican for sainthood. I just see her as the least of all the evils in this franchise – the one who offends me less than the others. It’s my Bravo scale for who I can tolerate and who I can’t. She can be underhanded and snotty and capable of delivering her own smack-downs, when necessary. I get that her humor is a bit biting and can go overboard. Part of that is her sense of humor and, I’m sure, that part of it comes from her frustration with dealing with this bunch of numbskulls. I also understand that the others don’t always understand that. They hear what they want to hear because, even though their mouths may be unfiltered, their ears definitely have them. When they interpret what she says as something different from her intentions, they do so because they are reacting to their own preconceived notions, right or wrong. They build walls, organize teams, imagine hurts, and after a while, they don’t know any other way to react.
I know that we don’t see and hear everything that goes on between these women during the episodes. I have come to believe that most of their relationships stop the minute the cameras are turned off. All we have left is what Bravo allows us to see, and from where I’m sitting, it’s more than enough. They can blame editing and the producers, but that doesn’t explain what takes place on Twitter, Facebook, in the tabloids and on their own Bravo blogs. The ones who attack do so because they’re not secure in their roles – not on Bravo and not in their own lives. So, go ahead ladies. Attack the smart girl for being smart and tell me how that’s working for you.
To Gigi: I have all the cake you want. Call me.