The Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion, Part 1

Woo-hoo! Andy Cohen’s wearing saddle shoes!  I wore saddle shoes when I was in high school – 40+ years ago.   I guess everything old is new again.

Alexis Bellino, Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, Lydia McLaughlin, Tamra Barney, Vicki Gunvalson

Now, about this reunion – it looks like Andy handed over the reins to the new girl, Lydia.  She asked more questions, including follow-ups, than Andy did.  She also did a great job of holding her own, calling out the other cast members on their stories, made-up and otherwise, and for that I have to hand it to her.    I don’t think that Heather is going to end up being one of her besties, but this is the Housewives, and, as we all know, anything is possible in Bravoland.   Lydia calling Heather “princess” was priceless and I loved the way it made Heather’s eyebrows go up even further on that nearly frozen forehead of hers.

Heather Dubrow, Lydia McLaughlin

Heather’s still peeved that her house didn’t make the cover of Lydia’s magazine, and pointed out that Lydia gave herself a 10-page spread.  Well, it is her magazine, she didn’t put herself on the cover – Marilyn Monroe got that spot – so what’s the big deal?  Oh, right –  Heather is at least as big a star as Marilyn Monroe was.  What was I thinking?

Why Bravo is making this thing go on for three nights doesn’t make a lot of sense.  We had to listen to the same old arguments that we’ve heard for years now.  I don’t care anymore  if Gretchen cheated on Jeff.   That story’s been beat into the ground and no one is going to own up to anything.  Alexis Bellino, Tamra Barney

Tamra had a bunch of pictures to prove that Gretchen sat on some guy’s lap and maybe even kissed him, but what she’s trying to achieve was lost on me.

Andy dragged Laurie out of the wings and onto the couch to bring up some email  Vicki received from George Peterson’s ex-mother-in-law about 100 years ago and she’s come back onto the show to get revenge.   To do some real damage to Vicki, Laurie decided to spread a story about finding Vicki in bed with another man – not Donn – and woman while on vacation.  Now Laurie didn’t exactly say what Vicki was doing but the inference was that Vicki was having a threesome. Andy Cohen, Lauri Peterson, Tamra Barney, Vicki Gunvalson

She told Gretchen, who is always happy to get some dirt on Vicki, and the story flew out of Coto, onto our TV screens and throughout the internet.   A lot of screaming was heard from both of the couches, with everyone voicing their opinions, whether they knew what they were talking about or not.  Vicki denied ever having sex with multiple partners.  Laurie, acting all innocent, said that she never said that – she just saw what she saw, whatever the hell that was.   I think Laurie would like to be one of the Housewives again and if it means dragging up whatever useless baggage she has lying around, she’s more than happy to do it.  Did I mention that she’s married to a pillar of the community?  Well, apparently she is because she says she is and Laurie doesn’t just go around, making stuff up.

This led to another argument about whether Laurie worked for Vicki years ago or if she was simply using her office, her phone, her license, her fax machine, her water cooler, etc.  Vicki signed her paychecks – I understood that much.  I still don’t know if Laurie was an employee or not, but Vicki did give her a leg up at a time when she needed it and now Laurie is back to bite the hand that once fed her.

In the past, on last year’s reunion, in fact, Vicki (thanks to being outed by Brianna) did say that both she and Donn had strayed from their marriage vows.  So, why is Vicki now saying that once a spouse cheats, it’s over.  Wasn’t there some discussion about their marriage being an “open” one and that they had an understanding?  As much as Laurie may be trying to stir the pot just for the sake of it, Vicki would be wise to keep her own stories straight.   To top it off, Vicki tells Andy that she and Donn haven’t finalized their divorce yet.  Tamra would like to see them back together.  Vicki doesn’t want to pay spousal support, and Donn, according to Vicki, says that there’s a better chance of monkeys flying out of his a**.   That would be an interesting episode of the OC and one I’d really like to see.

Gretchen, who was dressed in a hot sea-foam green, one-sleeved number,  and all made-up for her next appearance on Toddlers and Tiaras,  wailed about how mean Tamra and Vicki have been to her.  She’s adamant that she has nothing to confess to or apologize for, and she’s probably right.  If she lied about having an affair with another man while Jeff was ill, it’s really not Vicki’s or Tamra’s business.  On the other hand, if none of them got into any of the others’ business, there’d be no Housewives franchises at all.  It’s all about the finger-pointing and name-calling, no matter what city we’re visiting.

Alexis didn’t have a lot to say, other than she was disappointed in Lydia for not being more supportive and defending her friendship to Heather.  Lydia explained that she didn’t like see them as like real friends at the time but now things are like totally different between them.   Alexis is playing it safe, having been the target of the gang mentality in the past, and Lydia seems to be the least threatening one right now.

We still have two more nights of this and, from what we’ve seen of the previews, we’re going to have to put up with visits from Brooks and Brianna and heaven knows who else.   In some of the pictures of Brianna, she’s barefoot and only time will tell what that’s all about.   In the meantime, I searched the web and found something that I thought all of the ladies could use during the reunion, particularly Vicki, who needs a little in the way of support for her “girls”.   It’s also a good way to promote Wine by Wives or maybe even Vicki’s Vodka.   So here it is – The Wine Rack…

Empress
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3 Responses to The Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion, Part 1

  1. BB says:

    Very funny take on the Reunion Part 1 (especially about Gretch’s next appearance on Toddlers and Tiaras). I only watched about 10 minutes and that was 10 minutes pretty much wasted.

  2. Kaereste says:

    I’m proud to say I did not watch any of this season’s RHOC. Just looking at that photo reminds me of all of the brain cells I sacrificed to Bravo. Or it reminds me to forget my brain cells or I’ve already forgotten to remember to forget …. meh

  3. T-Wrecks says:

    Great recap of an hour’s brain drain!:)
    Please comment on the plain, shapeless, wrinkled, rayon fabric-appearing, unflattering schmatta that Heather chose to wear to a major event; with a minor adjustment at the collar bones and the elbows that rag would be at home on any Hassidic woman.
    Your take on Gretchen’s ginormous head would make me laugh as well…:) Her drawing the eye’s attention to it with the weird shape of her garish Toddler’s dress is just so amateur, but I’d guess that for someone who decorates from Marshall’s a talented stylist would be too dear…
    Kisses!:)
    Wrecksie

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