It was torture waiting for this season finale. I don’t know about you, but waiting to find out what had happened to Ashlee at the vineyard and what could possibly have landed her in the hospital was almost more than I could bear.
A very distraught Chanel has enlisted the help of the owners of the winery, while Amanda, Erica and Joey stuck to their original plans to enjoy the rest of the day on Erica’s Dad’s boat. Nice boat by the way – tuna tower and all. Ashlee seems to have vanished. First she was there, then “Poof” she was gone. I feared that a hawk had swooped down, mistaking her for prey and carried her off to some nest. Did she fall off of her platform shoes and break her leg? Nope. Amanda gets a text from a sobbing Chanel that Ashlee has been taken to the hospital. The Whites had called Chanel to tell her where Ashlee went, but they were a little cagey about the details.
Just as the little darling had hoped, the girls on the boat are now wondering if what they said may have caused her to fall ill. Erica is the only one who isn’t feeling any guilt. In fact, her take on Ashlee’s predicament is that sometime bad things happen to people who do bad things and now God is punishing her. A little on the harsh side, but at least she isn’t buying into Ashlee’s over the top histrionics. So here’s what really happened, oh, and thanks Bravo for cuing the dramatic music. Ashlee had a panic attack and had to hitch hike to a small, local hospital. Hitch hike? What happened to the jet that her parents were ordering up for her? At the very least, she should have been airlifted to the hospital. Never, ever expect this 30 year old to take care of herself.
Before we get to the full-blown, ridiculous story that Ashlee tells about the way she was treated at the hands of the mean girls, we see Amanda and Casey meeting for lunch. Casey’s walking into the meeting with a ton of attitude, ready to fight to the death for Ashlee’s honor.
She then proceeds to give Amanda an earful, knowing only one side of the story – Ashlee’s. “If you were her friend and had any loyalty, you never would have left her alone. Ashlee is the most loyal, level-headed person I’ve ever known. She’s very, very normal. I don’t care about Erica’s Dad or the plans all of you had.” Casey is suffering from her own delusions – Ashlee’s normal and level headed? Amanda tries to explain the other side of this kerfuffle, but Casey’s on a roll and doesn’t want to hear it. Casey ends the conversation by telling Amanda how to be a loyal friend and who she should be friends with. In her talking head, Amanda wondered what color the sky is on Planet Ashlee.
Chanel drops by the White house to visit Ashlee. This gives Ashlee the opportunity to rant on and on about her ordeal. She tells Chanel that the doctors had to give her – brace yourselves – Benadryl. Wait a damn minute. She had a panic attack and they gave her an antihistamine. I give Benadryl to my dogs when they have hot spots. Chanel is falling for her antics, hook, line and sinker. In an effort to bring peace and harmony to the fractured group, Chanel suggests that they all gather at a nearby pond to have a Tashlich celebration, preceding Rosh Hashanah. It requires that everyone throw Challah into the water and, in some meaningful way, cast off the past and move on to the future by apologizing for any hurt you’ve caused and forgiving those who hurt you. Ashlee, ever the martyr, sees no reason to apologize for anything. She was wronged, The others were terrible to her. She says that she must Tashlich all the time because she’s just that kind of girl, always taking the high road and seeing the light at the end of dark tunnels. By the way, until Chanel explained it to her, Ashlee had no idea what Tashlich even was.
Stepping away from the Ashlee saga, Amanda and Jeff are boarding the Long Island Railroad for a trip to the city. They talk about how the train means so much to them because it’s where they first met. Jeff starts to get emotional and pulls a tiny box from his backpack. Amanda is falling out of her seat. This is the moment and she’s sure there’s and engagement ring in there. Jeff isn’t quite ready for that yet and the box contains a promise ring.
Amanda is crestfallen, telling us that Jewish people don’t give promise rings. Jeff, however, says that he wants to commit himself to Amanda, but wants to make sure that Mom Babs is one Board before he takes the next step. Amanda’ happy to hear that Jeff is respecting her mother’s wishes and accepts the ring, his explanation and says that she will commit her life to him as well. Then they started slobbering all over each other, with a lot of tongue action, grossing out most of the train passengers and TV viewers.
All of the girls are gathering at the pond to celebrate Tashlich. Casey’s still pissed and Ashlee’s full of righteous indignation. It doesn’t sound like a good start to tossing your troubles into the water. Chanel begins by sobbing her way through an emotional speech about how everyone should get along. Live and let live, kumbaya, I love you guys. Once she’s done, the others start to offer some words, hoping that everything will be okay and they can get this over with. Amanda is rambling on and crying about how she would never hurt Ashlee. Erica admits making mistakes and asks for Casey’s forgiveness. Casey forgives herself for being guarded and Joey hopes that Ashlee’s future is better, telling her that she never wanted anything bad for her.
That leaves Ashlee, who’s been standing there with a puss on her face, arms crossed and eyes rolling. This is how she addresses the group. “I reflect every night. I’m so proud of how far I’ve come. I got a second chance after having a stroke. I lost my speech, I lost my balance and I had to spend 8 months in bed. My life is worthwhile and I’m having trouble with what all of you are saying. I could have been on a milk carton because you left me behind.” I’m going to interrupt her for one second. Just as Amanda tried to tell her, she’s a grown woman who chose to wander off into the mean streets of a beautiful and very safe vineyard during the day. I feel for her given her health issues, but lots of us know people who have had life threatening illnesses and would never dream of using them to excuse bad behavior or to garner sympathy and attention. Any danger that she thought she was in at that vineyard is on her and her very poor and very selfish decisions. Okay, I’m done. Ashlee finally uttered what could hardly be taken as an apology. Addressing Amanda, she said “I’m sorry you do things out of anger.”
That was good enough for Chanel, who asks everyone to throw their bread onto the water, close their eyes and hope for a better future. The ducks enjoyed the unexpected lunch.
This episode had barely ended when viewers took to Twitter to give Ashlee a piece of their minds. She fired right back, even trying to report some of the tweeps for abuse. As for her lack of any real apology and her failure to take any responsibility for the great divide she cause, Ashlee blamed editing. Welcome to Bravo, my dear.
Now I have to find a salon that offers take-out service.
I. AM. OUTTA. HERE.
Empress
realhousewifeofaiken 
Yeah I so do NOT believe that Ashlee had a stroke. I believe she had a headache. And they gave her two advil. How is it possible that NONE of the other girls except Chanel knew that Ashlee had been so ill and had been bed-ridden for eight months? Allegedly. And she never mentioned this in her Bravo bio, her blogs (until now … SO convenient). And the stroke is allegedly why she’s living at home with mom & dad. Because she was bed-ridden for eight months. Hmm. Interesting. I know several people who had strokes and none of them was bed-ridden for more than a week or so. They got them into PT and up and walking as soon as they possibly could. That had to be some stroke that left her bed-ridden for eight months. And she regained 100% of her motion, balance, and speech after such a severe stroke. A miracle.
And that’s why she’s living at home. Because she is otherwise a totally competent human being. Not.
But even so, none of that excuses or explains her behavior and attitude.
This chick is supposedly so grateful for her life and health and what does she do with it? Nothing. She sits around the house, gossips, whines, goes out with friends and behaves like an obnoxious
spoiled brat. She doesn’t do anything for herself or for others. She’s a waste of oxygen.
Well first I have to say.. COMCAST SUCKED LAST NIGHT…. came home late from work and no bravo or hallmark… till after 2 a/m,, even mr ford was like…what…no jersey tonite…. then we both laughed….
then I watched this dribble after catching up on DEVIOUS MAIDS ON LIFETIME…. lol
I think the munchkin thinks Tashlich was more like asslich in her world… she is one pitiful woman for sure….. STROKE MY AZZZZZZZ….. I could have sworn I heard tiny violins all over the world cueing up …oh wait…. that was the owls hooting in my oak tree ALL NIGHT IT SEEMED….
bet ya dollars to donuts dandyandy thinks this is a hit and it will RETURN for round two next year…. smh and sma……
mr ford waiting for part uno OC tonite ????? it’s our hour of power together…. lol lol lol lol where we get to pick on real people who make no difference in our daily lives , but gives reason to have fun…..hehehehehehehehehe
off to watch some BW training films ???????? um…. really… trained to take other peoples money and give them a key to a room and tell them where the ice machine is ??? REALLY !!!!!
hugs and peace
diva
Oh DD, I’m hoping and praying Bravo cancels this one.
Sounds like the job is keeping you busy.
My best to you and Mr. Ford 🙂
Allowing for the Bravo time-warp, here’s the deal. Tashlich is performed on the first day of Rosh Hashanah. Last year, that was September 16. Now Ashlee allegedly had the stroke a year prior to the Tashlich ceremony and then was in bed for eight months. So from September 2011 – April 2012. Ashley Omari and Danny Edri were married on December 4, 2012. And the slumber party was before the wedding. So she had a stroke in September, was up and dancing the hora in December, but was bed-ridden for eight months?
Like I said. She had a headache.
Hey Joan, Thanks for your comments. Just a couple of things:
Lord knows I hate defending Ashlee, but I’ve read stories on other websites about her stroke(s) and that she’s also been diagnosed as having lupus. I can’t speak to the truth of the stories, but they’re out there.
I’m not surprised at all by Bravo’s failure to keep some chronology with their episodes, but I’m a little confused with the timeline you provided. If she did have her stroke sometime around September, 2011, then Ashley and Danny’s wedding was 15 months later, in December, 2012 – plenty of time for her to have recovered and attend the wedding.
The only thing I’m reasonably certain about is that most of Bravo’s shows are filmed 6 or 7 months before they actually air.
Oh! You are right, of course. But I still don’t buy it. It still doesn’t make sense that Erica and Casey didn’t know about it. I am looking for other websites, but so far all I can find are other sites alluding to Ashlee’s own statements. No credible, third-party source. At this point, I’m putting it in the same category as Taylor’s alleged orbital blow-out resulting from an alleged beating by Russell.
It is extremely rare for a young person to have a stroke, much less such a severe stroke.
FWIW, she tweeted that her birthday is July 23.
Empress: Thank you so much for these recaps. I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed them. I try to catch the show after I read your take. It makes the show even funnier with your words ringing in my ears.
Even though the show is over, would you ever consider dipping your fingers into the fiction pond (with or without challah bread) and continue stories about Ashlee? I can only imagine the side-busting predicaments/situations you could put her in. Please?
I can see LI from my house in CT and I swear I heard a collective sigh of relief drifting across the sound as soon as the final credits aired.
Thanks again!
Great idea. I second the thought and offer my services as a consultant, having grown up with JAPS, although admittedly Ashlee, a JAP on steroids, is in a class by herself. And not in a good way. She makes JAPS look like normal people. She’s even giving Jill Zarin a run for her money.
Joan, see below for my response to you and jules. Oy – Jill Zarin redux. smh…
Jewels, I’m so glad to hear that you’ve had fun here. This particular Bravo production had to be one of the easiest I’ve ever written about. All the girls, and Ashlee’s parents, have put the “less” into mindless entertainment.
Connecticut, huh? Well here’s shout-out from a Nutmeg State native (recently transplanted). 😀
OMG, I think I hurt my spleen trying to keep my laughter inside so the boss doesn’t know what I’m doing!!! Empress, you truly are my hero for watching these dimwits so I don’t have too. I agree with Jewels and Joan, you should write about Ashlee and her faux predicaments. It would by hysterical! BTW, I suffer from “real” panic/anxiety attacks and never once did the doctor tell me to take a Benadryl. This chick is a wack-a-doodle with a capital WACK. The only person I even remotely like on this show is Chanel. She seems to be the only one who has any real connection to her religion. Part of the reason I started to watch this nightmare was because I thought I might possibly learn something about Judaism. Silly me…. Anyway, thank you so much for your recaps Empress. The laughs I get from your writing does more for me than I can articulate.
jules!!! If you bust your spleen, you’ll be forced to hitch hike to the hospital. Take it easy there, girl.
Maybe after I take a breather, and can come up with some ideas, I might take you and Joan up on that suggestion, and Joan’s offer to be a consultant.
Thanks for hanging in there with me. 🙂