Hello AI Fans and those who are not such fans but just like to read. This week is Rock and Roll week. No ballads, no slow drags (so Ryan says), just rockin’ beats. This week, the band has a guest guitarist, Orianthi. I think she is pretty good so I’ll link to her youtube channel. Let’s get to the contestants shall we? They are back with these duets and trios to keep the show at an unnecessary 2 hours so let’s just look at the contestants and what they did overall. I’m not going to dig in to it, Here is a link to the show, each of the contestants gave their views of their peers. Some of them are worth watching I guess. It’s all in fun but sometimes I think these segments hurt the contestants.

First up, Burnell Taylor. He did Bon Jovi’s “You Give Love A Bad Name”. This is clearly not his genre. I didn’t like it, the judges were kind of luke warm about it. He says he chose that song because it’s the only one on the list he knew. Really Burnell? He also did a duet with Candice, we’ll get to that in a minute. I’m not really liking this guy but of the two that are left, he is clearly top of the heap, and I do mean Heap.

Next we have one of those duets with Angie Miller and Lazaro Arbos. Queen’s “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”. Now, when Freddie Mercury and Queen did this song, it had a Rockabilly vibe to it and I like their version (sometimes I actually like the covers of songs better but not in this case). I thought as a duet with those two, it absolutely sucked. Angie tried to do her thing with it but that dumb shit Lazaro, again, forgot the phuckin words. For what it’s worth, Angie doesn’t do a great job with the up tempo stuff. I don’t think it fits her theatrical style very well. The judges were nice about the performance, I would have ripped him apart. Final seven and he still forgets the damn words? Really? Jimmy Iovine, WHY did you put this douche bag on the show? I Really question your judgement here.

Now that my BP is back to normal, my lady Kree Harrison comes out with Janis Joplin’s “Piece Of My Heart”. When I first heard she was going to do a Janis song, I kind of hoped it wouldn’t be this one. Not because I didn’t think she could do it but because I think that song is overdone on this show. I might have preferred to hear her do the other go to Janis song, “Me & Bobby McGee”. What can I say? Like the judges, I’ve run out of words to describe how great I think she is. I don’t think she’s going anywhere any time soon. Interesting bit of Kree trivia… She was born in the same hospital as Janis Joplin and her grandmother went to school with Janis. Okay, I’ll take her word for it.

Next, one of these duets. “The Letter” by The Box Tops. They did it with a funk type beat. I wouldn’t call that performance rock and roll by any stretch of the imagination. This was Candice and Burnell by the way. Again, clearly not his genre. In fact, I don’t think anything up tempo is. Candice clearly carried him in this performance.

Now for Janelle Arthur. “You May Be Right” by Billy Joel. She turned in a solid performance. That’s never been a favorite song of mine but, yeah, she did a good job with it. The judges seemed more interested in her wardrobe than the song it seemed. Particularly her rhinestone cowboy boots. She says she wore them because it’s rock and roll week and the boots are stoned (haha).. Nicki wants to wear the boots and Randy wants her fringed vest. Really Randy? Just shaking my head. Oh, they liked the song too.

Next we wheel out Lazaro as he attempts Queens “We Are The Champions”. I’ll just cut right to the chase here. He tortured that song. If he’s going to take on Queen on a competition like this, he should pick a more obscure one so people aren’t left thinking he screwed it up. I guess to his credit, he didn’t forget the words like he has with every other performance on these live shows. He gets a much improved by the judges.

Now the three remaining ladies, Kree, Amber, Janelle do Billy Joel’s “Still Rock And Roll To Me”. I have to say that I didn’t care for it. Neither did Nicki. It was just kind of blah and just laid there. Before the audience could do it, Nicki boo’d herself. She says she could have done without that song choice and it was cheesy (ouch). The other three said it was great. Here’s the thing, I think all three of them, on their own, are phenomenal. Yes they can blend well in a group but with this song, it fell flat to me. That’s about all I’m going to say about that performance.

Candice Glover is next with The Rolling Stones “Satisfaction”. As with Kree, Candice really can’t do any wrong on this show. So far that is. Rock isn’t her genre either but the way she does the songs makes them sound as if she’s been doing them all her life. The judges of course swooned all over her and I guess rightfully so. She is miles ahead of many of the other contestants.

That brings us to Amber Holcomb. She is doing Hearts “What About Love”. I can’t take anything away from her singing skill, that’s for certain. Ryan lied to us though. No ballads and no slow drags. Just up tempo stuff. Amber is a ballad singer and that’s why I don’t care for her in particular and she managed to find a power ballad by a rock band. Nice move, Amber. She knows what she’s comfortable with and I’ll give her props for trying to stick to what she knows. The judges gushed.

Joshua Ladet and Holly Cavenaugh from last season are in the audience. Ryan gives them a little camera time to plug whatever it is they are doing now. I liked both of them on their season so I guess it was nice to see them.

Pimp spot of the night, goes to Angie Miller. She is back at the piano where the judges have been telling her she belongs with an Evanesence (who?) song, “Bring Me To Life”. Apparently I’ve been living under a rock because this is one of those platinum selling songs. Mmmmkay… whatever. Must mean somebody out there likes it. It allows Angie to show off her theatrics. The judges feel she’s stepped away from that with this song. So, the judges and I disagree. I don’t know.. I didn’t particularly care for it but I don’t think she’s in any danger, yet.

That’s it for the performances. Let’s get to the results show.

Results

If you want to see any of this show, it’s linked here. Frankly, I’m pissed with this show to tell the truth. Read on to find out why if you don’t already know. The show opens with the usual fanfare. Judges, Ryan, Contestants are brought out. Carrie Underwood will be there as will Casey James from season 9. 25 million votes came in, another decline from the previous week.

The contestant’s annoying group song is Queen’s “Somebody To Love”. Perhaps it’s not fair because it is so obvious (to me) but, only Freddy Mercury can do a Queen song justice. I guess there may be some who enjoy these group songs but I’m definitely not one of them. I guess it didn’t completely suck.

Last week we talked about Ford’s part in this show this season. I got the name wrong, it was in fact ‘Ford Fiesta Mission’ and this week’s theme is “Who Is Your Idol”. Their task if you will is a fashion photo shoot and they have to create looks inspired by their own musical idols. Of course they are shown ‘driving’ these cars to their destination. (As If… Here’s the way that really works. No way are they actually driving the cars. The cars are on a trailer being towed during filming by the production company. There are too many liability risks for them to be allowed to do their own driving. Sorry to spoil that for you if you didn’t already know that). So they get all dolled up, airbrushed, primped and all that and then photographed with a Ford Fiesta (Do you want me to continue telling you about these?).

Next we have Jimmy giving his thoughts on the previous night. He says: “Most of the contestants are from either a R&B base or a Country base. Rock and Roll is from an R&B base and a Country base. So what’s the problem. Most of the contestants picked the wrong songs”. Burnell, he says, gave rock a bad name. He was so behind the beat that it sounded like the band was playing on east coast time and he was singing in west coast time (the judges had similar things to say about it). There are so many great songs he could have chosen from. Obviously, he did not study (come prepared) and therefore, he’s in the bottom two. Those are the types of comments Jimmy is giving. Regarding Angie and Lazaro’s duet: “Cabaret. If he was at a wedding and they sang that song the way they sang it, he would cancel the wedding. Freddy Mercury would never write a song the way they sang it (Thank You Jimmy)”. He didn’t note the obvious or it was cut out, that Lazaro once again, forgot the phuckin words to the song. With Kree, “She had a pinched nerve (I failed to mention that above but I’m not going back to edit it) and he says can you imagine having to sing like that? Not really being able to move. He says she chose the right song for herself and every thing she does, is with such poise, she did great (I agree of course)”. Regarding the Burnell/Candice duet he says “Burnell finally has the right song (for that night), he was buying it, until Candice started singing. She was incredible (Nicki said basically the same thing. He was like  star and then Candice, the galaxy showed up) and Burnell fell through the trap door as far as Jimmy is concerned. He should not sing with her again until he does his homework (I get the feeling that Jimmy is over Burnell)”. Janelle: He says: “she picked a good song for herself and turned in a competent performance. Would have been better if she had chosen a Bob Seger or John Fogerty song but with what she did, she did okay. She is right in the middle, came in 4th last night”.

Lazaro’s song: “Surprise, I didn’t like it as much as the judges (they did kind of gush all over that sucky performance). He did a reasonable job but, reasonable isn’t going to get you any further in this competition (hold that thought Jimmy). His voice is just not ready yet and he’s at the bottom 2 or out”. One can hope. The girl’s trio.. They show us a clip of the performance, Nicki gave her true opinion of it but wanted to borrow Amber’s jeans.. Randy gushed, said if he closed his eyes he would think they were a group. Jimmy says: “Randy Randy Randy, this was not great. They took three great soul singers and made it look like an outtake of Grease.” He says that he agrees with Nicki, the only thing good about that was Amber’s jeans (which were half missing btw). Candice: Jimmy says that it is really difficult to write a great classic up tempo rock song. Satisfaction is one of those songs but it isn’t one that allows Candice to shine. He believes she will be in the top 3 tonight but that wasn’t one of her top 3 performances (Hold that thought, Jimmy). Amber: Jimmy says she is constantly improving. Even her legs seem to be getting longer (she’s showing more of them and ever increasing heal size on her shoes). She’s in the top three, there are NOT three better singers on that stage tonight he says (Hold that thought Jimmy). Angie Miller: Jimmy agrees with the judges. She did great with the song. He said he thought the producers were trying to knock her over by having the wind machine on tornado setting. He says she’s a great singer.

Jimmy closes his comments with this: “Top three, would rather have a top four but for three, Amber, Angie, and Kree. He would love to have that fourth for Candice. If America gets it right, there can only be one person going home. That’s Lazaro (Hold these thoughts Jimmy)”.

Next, they trot out Casey James. I did like him and I think he’s a fantastic musician. I haven’t been following him at all but he has a self titled album out and he’s been as far as number two on the Billboard country chart (Impressive). He sings his song, it was okay and Casey-like. I’m only talking about him because after he finishes, he says he is bearing gifts for the contestants. He remembers how homesick they can get so for each of them he did a little research, he brought something from their home town. What a nice guy. We didn’t get to see yet what those gifts were..

We know who Jimmy thinks belongs in the top three. Now we get to find out who the judges think belong there. Keith- Kree, Angie, and Amber. Nicki’s are the same. For Randolph (Funny, Ryan), Same three. For Mariah, Amber, Kree, and Candice. I notice one of my top three isn’t there, Janelle. For all of them, including Jimmy, difficult decision and they apparently didn’t know this would be public information. At least Nicki didn’t. Of course my true favorite, Kree, is a common name for all 5 of these people (Jimmy and the judges).

Dim the lights, Here we go. Top three reveal… In no particular order, first one revealed, Kree Harrison (Yay!). Second, Angie Miller. I don’t agree but okay. It’s going to get to the point where somebody great is in the bottom. It just has to happen by attrition. The third one. I Can NOT believe I am saying this. Lazaro Arbos. America.. Are You Phucking Kidding Me? Really? Brain damaged is the only excuse I can come up with. The judges look stunned.

Next in the show, Carrie Underwood. I’ll admit, I skipped past her performance. Everybody knows she’s shown what really can be done for the right person on this show. Somehow though I think even without the show, she would have been huge. It may have taken a few days but she would have gotten there.

Okay… back to the reason we are here. Results. Next safe is Candice Glover. Honestly, she looks pissed about the way this has shaken out. Not necessarily because she isn’t top three but because of who is there instead of her. You know which can’t remember the phuckin words asshat I’m talking about. Last safe before bottom two, Amber. That means Burnell and Janelle are in the bottom two. Burnell is the one singing for his Idol Life. Nicki and Mariah have previously said, that at this point, all of the contestants have star power. I don’t know what the phuck they are smoking but there it is. Okay.. Burnell sings. During these songs, there is a twitter ticker on the bottom of the screen, should they or shouldn’t the judges use the save. In past weeks, it’s been a solid no. For Burnell, they are trending yes. Now, They keep showing the safe contestants and I’m looking at Candice in particular who is standing next to that stuttering wart, Lazaro and she looks pissed. Janelle seems ticked that she was in the bottom two instead of him. I think she could and would accept it if it were just the girls left who are CLEARLY better, but this is a smack in the face for her, I’m sure (that’s just my read on it). It is a smack in the face for all of them in my opinion. Anyway, the judges plan dinner and a movie deliberate as Burnell is torturing singing his song (sorry, I just don’t like his style of music), and it is not Unanimous.. Goodbye Burnell.

Brain Damaged. Bill Cosby use to do as part of his stand up routine a bit about all kids being brain damaged. Didn’t matter whose kids they were, brain damaged. His justification for that was their forgetfulness and complete apparent ignorance. Ask them why they did something the answer would be “I don’t know”. Didn’t matter what they did. It is part of what he called it the parent’s curse. “Some day, you’re going to have kids who act Just Like You did… “. and the curse works. Deal with these people long enough, you too, will become brain damaged. Something to that affect. Fortunately, they grow out of it and have families of their own. It is my firm belief that after seeing tonight’s results (as well as many other things) People are NOT progressing beyond that damaged state. The idea that any thinking person could think that this wart, Lazaro can out sing the likes of a Candice Glover or Janelle or even Burnell for that matter, is absolutely stunning to me. I’ve said it for weeks, Jimmy said it in his own review (who I happen to respect more than those judges combined), Lazaro doesn’t belong on that stage.

That’s all folks. See you next week.

MTH