The Real Housewives of Atlanta – Preview

The Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 5 Cast Photo

The ladies of Atlanta are coming back for a fifth season and two new women have been added to the cast.  The good thing about that is that we don’t have to watch Marlo and Sheree do any more bird calls while having a “who paid for your house” argument, because they’re gone.  Nene, Kandi, Cynthia, Kim Z-B and Phaedra are going to be joined by Kenya Moore and Porsha Stewart, and I’m sure that drama will ensue.

Kenya Moore

Kenya’s Bravo biography refers to her as a television producer, writer and director as well as a businesswoman – she’s the CEO of Moore Vision Media.   Kenya also has done some movies and television shows, besides having once held the title of Miss USA.   Originally from Detroit, she also has a Bachelor’s degree, with a Major in Psychology.  I don’t know if that’s going to help her in dealing with the Housewives but, then again, she’s now a member of the cast, so I don’t think it made any difference when it came to career choices.

There are stories floating around that Kenya punched Nene during some fight about something of utmost importance while on vacation in Anguilla – yep, another girls’ (and guys’ ) trip bites the dust.   Nene was asked about it and wouldn’t say anything more than we’ll just have to watch and see.   If it’s more than a rumor, then Bravo is stacking up assault charges faster than you can say “Ratings!”   I’m not sure that this is the type of change viewers were asking for from Bravo’s producers, but given the increased head count from last week’s episode of Miami’s Housewives, somebody’s tuning in for the slug-fests.

The other newcomer, Porsha, is married to Porsha Stewartformer NFL player Kordell Stewart- he officially retired last May, after nearly 10 years away from the game – and they have a son, Syre.  She says that she wants to have a musical career and that her reason for joining the cast was to raise awareness for Cancer research.   I think we’ve heard both of those things before.  I guess we’ll have to wait and see how well that works for her.

Anyway, it looks like she’s chosen the same life as Sheree and Kim Z-B and Lisa Wu Hartwell.  Are there any women in Atlanta who aren’t married to some kind of ball players?   I hope that Kordell has set some money aside, or this family’s going to end up just as broke as a few of the cast mates from a couple of other Housewives’  cities.   He says that he likes to play golf and, on occasion, he does some sports reporting, but that isn’t going to bring in the kind of income it takes to support the lifestyles of these women.

As for the returning members of this cast, Nene may or may not be with Greg, but now she’s a BIG STAR – just ask her.  She still likes to mention Donald Trump as often as possible, perhaps not realizing that most of the rest of us can’t stand the guy.   She does have a regular role on “The New Normal”,  so it might have opened some doors for her.   She might want to ask Andy Cohen about that, though.  Nene forgot that you should dance with the one who brought you.  I forgot to say that she’s rich, but I’m sure she’ll remind everybody.

Phaedra, Esq. is still in the funeral business and has expanded it to pets.  She’s also trying to market pink stun-guns, because everybody knows that a good Southern belle should always look pretty and dainty when knocking someone on their a**.    It looks like she and Apollo may be trying to have another baby – if Kenya can keep her hands off of him, but that’s another story.

Kandi has found the love of her life and may be moving into the married category.  I’d love to see a wedding with a Kandi Koated Nights theme.  The guest favors would certainly be different – batteries not included.

Cynthia and Peter are still married after nearly two years.  She’s taking the Bailey  Fashion/Modeling Agency School Thing – whatever you call it – to a new level and branching out into the pageant world.   The pageant business may be a problem between Kenya and Cynthia, as each sponsored one on the same day.  Maybe Cynthia should have started with something small, like Honey BooBoo, and asked for Kenya’s help.  The child only lives a short distance away and she’d certainly be a test of their skills.     Really, I’m not kidding.  Can’t you just see those two with Little Miss Go-Go Juice and Mama June?

Kim Zolciak

Last, but certainly not least, there’s Kim Z-B, who’s about to celebrate her first wedding anniversary and has already had her second Biermann baby, little Kash’n’Karry.    She and Kroy have been having some housing problems, getting evicted from one place while building a new home.   Yep, our favorite wig-wearing, chain-smoking, trash-talking little hausfrau is spending it about as fast as he can make it.  I think we’re also supposed to be caught up in some drama involving her BSC mother and her right to visit her grandchildren.   I find it hard to believe that Bravo would just make something like that up.   I do think that  Mom might want to amend her complaint to include the right to visit a bathroom on the second floor, just in case she needs to powder her nose.

It sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it.

Empress

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One Response to The Real Housewives of Atlanta – Preview

  1. Whats you sayin Jack? I needz to be skooled by da Baily Agency? Hmmph. Me give lessons on deeportment ands how to parade down the runway! I have special weight loss program tooz. Whatz that dried up Cynthia gonna showed me? How to married to a broke azz? I gots my momma for dat.

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