This season brought three new cast members and they were supposed to make New York look more interesting. Aviva wasn’t going to help kids who had lost limbs, Carole was writing a novel and Heather was promoting her Yummie Tummie brand. The only one who succeeded was Heather. Not only did she put her shapewear front and center, but during eighteen episodes, she went from potential villain to one of the most honest, straightforward and professional women the Housewives’ franchises have ever seen. I can’t say the same for Aviva and Carole.
Carole showed some promise when the season started. I thought that she would be the one to bring some sanity, to be the objective observer who would use her talking heads to report what was really going on between these women. She let us down a little and turned into someone else – a Real Housewife, Bravo style. She hasn’t been funny or clever or even kind, lately, as she’s called out the behaviors of some, but not all of her castmates. Instead, it appears that she’s picked a team, an old, tired and never pretty tactic. She’s been writing a book for four years and has talked about it since the first episode, but Caroline Manzo has beat her onto Amazon’s wait list.
Aviva came to Bravo to support the children with no legs. No she didn’t. She came to our televisions because she loves attention, most of which is about the loss of her leg, but she isn’t above dragging every last one of her myriad issues in front of the cameras. She didn’t stop there. Her 80 YEAR OLD FATHER, George, assaulted all of us with his particularly creepy version of the merry widower. I know he isn’t 80, and so does Aviva, but it sounds so much better when you’re trying to make a point. Shouting it, incessantly, also works. It almost makes him sound like a frail, helpless old man instead of the perverted, foolish and pitiful character we saw.
Aviva and her father are a team. They will fight each other’s battles even when they really should be keeping quiet and behaving like the intelligent and well-mannered members of society they so want us to believe they are. I have no idea why Carole has taken their side, joined them in their outrage and defended them, but, then again, all I know about Carole is what she wrote in her memoir and, now, what she’s saying and doing on Bravo. Her Bravo blogs started out funny and have become judgmental and more than a little mean. I don’t mind some snark – I actually enjoy it and am guilty of more than a little of my own. Maybe I’ve fallen for another promise by Bravo, so I won’t plead the fifth – I’m guilty on that count, too. I’ll put this under the heading of fool me once…, now it’s shame on me.
This episode was about more charity events and parties . We saw ping-pong championships and fashion shows. All of the women, and some of their husbands – and an 80 YEAR OLD FATHER, ruined each one by battling about other charity events that were ruined. Everyone wanted an apology from everyone else. Sonja wanted even more freebies from Heather to help market her toaster oven. She surprised Heather and the photographer by choosing the picture with the sculpted torso of the male model. Heather did finally tell her that she was fed up with her sense of entitlement and wished her well on the oven. I couldn’t find that on Amazon, either.
Heather had also asked Aviva to walk the runway in her fashion show. Aviva has agreed, but balked when she saw the items she was going to model. She told Heather that she didn’t feel as pretty when she wore things that exposed her prosthesis, but she also didn’t want to wear a jacket because her arms wouldn’t be exposed. Are you following this line of reasoning, at all? Anyway, there she goes again, sending that message of inspiration to all of the children she’s helping. That’s what you should tell them – that they’re not as pretty now. They should cover their imperfections up because they’re not like everybody else and they’ll never be as attractive as everybody else. Oh, and while you’re speaking for those less than perfect kids, make sure that you get your own way, at all costs. If a woman asks you to wear an outfit in a certain way, you go right ahead and ignore her wishes. Do whatever you want, because your differences give you an excuse to say and act exactly how you want. No, Aviva doesn’t want to attract attention to herself and her leg – yep, and I just started an “I Love Andy Cohen” Facebook page. You should join. Every time I write 80 YEAR OLD FATHER, have a guzzlet.
We wound up at a party to celebrate the fact that Carole has finally written “The End”. She’s holding a book baby shower, and has invited all of her friends and the Housewives. As is wont to happen at all of these events, more arguments broke out. They weren’t new arguments, just more of the same carried into a new venue. Heather is still angry with Sonja about the toaster oven problem. She’s equally angry with Ramona about her behavior at the fashion show and tells Sonja that Ramona just threw Sonja under the bus. Aviva is stalking Ramona, looking for an apology for the fact that her 80 YEAR OLD FATHER was unceremoniously removed from another event. Mario is trying to intervene. Heather’s husband, Jonathan, is trying to be a voice of reason and everyone else is just doing their level best to embarrass Carole. LuAnn was virtually invisible. Now, what exactly is she doing on this show?
The final updates didn’t tell us much. Ramona thinks Aviva should have an exorcism. Sonja is still trying to work out a financial settlement with her ex. Heather thinks that narcissism is a contagious disease. LuAnn is giving up on the IVF idea and is working out some “hurdles” with Jacques. Carole is working on turning her book into a movie and Russ is now her guy. Aviva is working on her issues – on Twitter with Jacqueline Laurita.
BTW, this is my favorite tweet of the day:
Well, it seems that I only wrote 80 YEAR OLD FATHER 4 times – well 5, if you count this one. That’s not even enough to get a good buzz on. I’ll try to do better during the reunion. I’m sure that Aviva will bring him up again.
Here are the blogs that I could find at Bravo as of midnight:
LuAnn and Carole have written their blogs. Carole’s includes an excerpt from her novel.