The Real Housewives of New York City – All’s Well That Doesn’t End Well

This season brought three new cast members and they were supposed to make New York look more interesting.  Aviva wasn’t going to help kids who had lost limbs, Carole was writing a novel and Heather was promoting her Yummie Tummie brand.  The only one who succeeded was Heather.  Not only did she put her shapewear front and center, but during eighteen episodes, she went from potential villain to one of the most honest, straightforward and professional women the Housewives’ franchises have ever seen.  I can’t say the same for Aviva and Carole.

Carole showed some promise when the season started.  I thought that she would be the one to bring some sanity, to be the objective observer who would use her talking heads to report what was really going on between these women.  She let us down a little and turned into someone else – a Real Housewife, Bravo style.  She hasn’t been funny or clever or even kind, lately, as she’s called out the behaviors of some, but not all of her castmates.  Instead, it appears that she’s picked a team, an old, tired and never pretty tactic.   She’s been writing a book for four years and has talked about it since the first episode, but Caroline Manzo has beat her onto Amazon’s wait list.

Aviva came to Bravo to support the children with no legs.  No she didn’t.  She came to our televisions because she loves attention, most of which is about the loss of her leg, but she isn’t above dragging every last one of her myriad issues in front of the cameras.  She didn’t stop there.  Her 80 YEAR OLD FATHER, George, assaulted all of us with his particularly creepy version of the merry widower.   I know he isn’t 80, and so does Aviva, but it sounds so much better when you’re trying to make a point.  Shouting it, incessantly, also works.  It almost makes him sound like a frail, helpless old man instead of the perverted, foolish and pitiful character we saw.

Aviva and her father are a team.  They will fight each other’s battles even when they really should be keeping quiet and behaving like the intelligent and well-mannered members of society they so want us to believe they are.  I have no idea why Carole has taken their side, joined them in their outrage and defended them, but, then again,  all I know about Carole is what she wrote in her memoir and, now, what she’s saying and doing on Bravo.  Her Bravo blogs started out funny and have become judgmental and more than a little mean.  I don’t mind some snark – I actually enjoy it and am guilty of more than a little of my own.  Maybe I’ve fallen for another promise by Bravo, so I won’t plead the fifth – I’m guilty on that count, too.  I’ll put this under the heading of fool me once…, now it’s shame on me.

This episode was about more charity events and parties .  We saw ping-pong championships and fashion shows.  All of the women, and some of their husbands – and an 80 YEAR OLD FATHER,  ruined each one by battling about other charity events that were ruined.  Everyone wanted an apology from everyone else.  Sonja wanted even more freebies from Heather to help market her toaster oven.  She surprised Heather and the photographer by choosing the picture with the sculpted torso of the male model.   Heather did finally tell her that she was fed up with her sense of entitlement and wished her well on the oven.   I couldn’t find that on Amazon, either.

Heather had also asked Aviva to walk the runway in her fashion show.  Aviva has agreed, but balked when she saw the items she was going to model.   She told Heather that she didn’t feel as pretty when she wore things that exposed her prosthesis, but she also didn’t want to wear a jacket because her arms wouldn’t be exposed.  Are you following this line of reasoning, at all?  Anyway, there she goes again, sending that message of inspiration to all of the children she’s helping.  That’s what you should tell them – that they’re not as pretty now.  They should cover their imperfections up because they’re not like everybody else and they’ll never be as attractive as everybody else.   Oh, and while you’re speaking for those less than perfect kids, make sure that you get your own way, at all costs.  If a woman asks you to wear an outfit in a certain way, you go right ahead and ignore her wishes.   Do whatever you want, because your differences give you an excuse to say and act exactly how you want.  No, Aviva doesn’t want to attract attention to herself and her leg – yep, and I just started an “I Love Andy Cohen” Facebook page.   You should join.  Every time I write 80 YEAR OLD FATHER, have a guzzlet.

We wound up at a party to celebrate the fact that Carole has finally written “The End”.  She’s holding a book baby shower, and has invited all of her friends and the Housewives.  As is wont to happen at all of these events, more arguments broke out.  They weren’t new arguments, just more of the same carried into a new venue.  Heather is still angry with Sonja about the toaster oven problem.   She’s equally angry with Ramona about her behavior at the fashion show and tells Sonja that Ramona just threw Sonja under the bus.   Aviva is stalking Ramona, looking for an apology for the fact that her 80 YEAR OLD FATHER was unceremoniously removed from another event.  Mario is trying to intervene.  Heather’s husband, Jonathan, is trying to be a voice of reason and everyone else is just doing their level best to embarrass Carole.  LuAnn was virtually invisible.  Now, what exactly is she doing on this show?

The final updates didn’t tell us much.  Ramona thinks Aviva should have an exorcism.  Sonja is still trying to work out a financial settlement with her ex.  Heather thinks that narcissism is a contagious disease.  LuAnn is giving up on the IVF idea and is working out some “hurdles” with Jacques.  Carole is working on turning her book into a movie and Russ is now her guy.  Aviva is working on her issues – on Twitter with Jacqueline Laurita.

BTW, this is my favorite tweet of the day:

When I see #Dexter and #RHONJ trending at the same time, I take that to mean he’s killed them all.

Well, it seems that I only wrote 80 YEAR OLD FATHER 4 times – well 5, if you count this one.  That’s not even enough to get a good buzz on.  I’ll try to do better during the reunion.  I’m sure that Aviva will bring him up again.

Here are the blogs that I could find at Bravo as of midnight:

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/season-5/blogs/heather-thomson/heathers-lessons-learned

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/season-5/blogs/sonja-morgan/building-the-brand-with-heather

http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-york-city/season-5/blogs/ramona-singer/walking-away-from-aviva

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34 Responses to The Real Housewives of New York City – All’s Well That Doesn’t End Well

  1. jeang says:

    For Carole, pointing finger, Bloop ala Nene style.

  2. Sparky says:

    Good blog. I am so disappointed that Carole chose sides. She’s been a royal bitch on Twitter too!

    • Hi sparky. I’ve notice a change in Carole’s tweets, too. She’s started to take some swipes at viewers and some of her castmates – not a smart way to go.

  3. thedesigndiva2 says:

    Well this finale was boring !!! Princess Carole my ass…!!! She acts more like one of the wicked step sisters…She REALLY thinks her shit is all that !! N O T ….
    Aviva ..what’s to say…oh yea..trailer turdette !!! I am sure we will be reading about her and REID soon in the paper…now..whether it will be the Society pages or the Legal Pages remains to be seen.stay tuned…..

  4. Donna says:

    I am not watching NY, but enjoy your uptake on events. (I’m not awake yet)

  5. windycitywondering1 says:

    This season was better than last but not enough to call it a success. How I had hoped that Carole would be the observer and foil for the show – sadly she choice sides over her wit. Aviva was a Jill/Kelly twofer – nonstop mean and crazy. Heather tries so hard to be cool and she shouldn’t because she is funny, perceptive and can communiate without rancor. Ramona and Sonja are the comic relief and I prefer their silliness because it is harmless. LuAnn should have left with the rest of the mean girls and once again her storyline was boring. IMO, Bravo needs to tweak this franchise a little more.

  6. melthehound says:

    Hello everyone… I actually watched the show after finally seeing the Revenge premier. I also watched the last 3 episodes of Castle that were on my DVR in between Revenge and RHONY. What a crapfest these HW shows became. Even in highbrow country, NYC, they still act like a bunch of entitled brats. The only real difference for me now is none of them have red hair or are painted orange. Of course the worse brat of them all is Aviva. I truly wanted to dig a hole and push her 80 YEAR OLD father into it, face first and then push Aviva in on top of him. Not because of him but because I was so sick of hearing about the injustice of him being asked to leave Ramona’s gig. Ramona gets her digs in, I don’t think anyone can deny that but she had every right to ask the viagra poster boy to leave. You would of course think by drama queen Aviva’s reaction to it, he was knocked away from his walker, wrestled to the ground, tazed, handcuffed, gagged, and hauled off in the back of a cruiser on an episode of Cops. Or better yet, Geezers Gone Wild.

    I grew to like Heather throughout the season. I just didn’t really get her at first. Still don’t for the most part but of all of them, to me, she’s the only one who seems to have anything going on that doesn’t depend on her appearance on a TV show to promote. I get that she did promote herself while on the show but she certainly didn’t need the show to do it.

    Sonja, $7M in debt (according to her on the show)… Receives a helping hand from Heather and then complains, it seemed to me, that she didn’t get enough extras. Someone tell me what Heather was paid, aside from the Bravo paycheck and exposure for her company, to do that. Is it just me who thinks that the show is the only place that toaster oven box will ever be seen? I think what we saw from Samnoja at that fashion show was some creative Bravo editing (like that’s never happened before) but still, to harrass the photographer and once again, bring up that Ramona should have been there during the shoot, was completely ridiculous. I’m sure Heather would have bitten down on the cyanide capsule in her mouth had Ramona been there. One thing I’ll say about the Samonja team though. What you see is very likely what you get.

    I guess I’ll stop now. Thanks again, Empress, for helping guide us through the season.

  7. Buttercream says:

    I liked your re-cap with your sense of humor especially with your take on the whole NYCHW new brew crew. Cause that Aviva was there to stir the pot and that she did with her 80 YEAR OLD Father!
    Does any one else besides you find the humorous irony in the fact that Aviva could not make the Fashion Show being held on the 90th Floor and her 80 YEAR OLD Father was asking Ramona to apologize to his daughter cause she has phobia’s?
    Carole started out strong as the humor talking head interviews. Once St. Bart’s trip was over, she flipped to taking sides instead of taking a step back assessing and addressing issues with the ever so absent one line zingers like BF would present.
    Lulu needs to go from the show. She is the proverbial bee in the bonnet during the show. No substance and weak story line. Take Aviva and return to sender! She’s overkill in the nasty department!
    thanks again empress 🙂

    • OK, Buttercream. I’m now on my 3rd guzzlet and it’s not even 2PM, so I’ll try not to slur my words – Diet Dr. Pepper really carries a wallop. Aviva and her fear of heights, well, all of her fears, only seem to bother her when she wants to garner sympathy and win an argument against a perceived enemy. She sure didn’t look like she had any problem sitting on the edge of Ranjana’s penthouse pool. She told Cat Ommaney on Twitter that she was “bringing the drama” because NY was getting boring. I started wondering if that meant that her fears/phobias/anxieties were part of this drama. I mean, which is it – is she riddled with angst or is she another part of the scripted reality that Bravo now seems to be promoting?
      Lulu is dead air time now that she doesn’t have her red-haired step-sister to egg her on.
      I’m glad you enjoyed it and that it made you laugh.

  8. tuzentswurth says:

    Amen Empress! Thanks for the blog and the plain truth.

  9. I wanna show Aviva how to strut down the runway all proper. Then Sonja and Ramonerd can swim in my family’s above ground pool. No one cares if you are nikked and a fool. Just keep Polident away from me.

  10. T-Wrecks says:

    One of the best season finale recaps I’ve read. Thank you!:)
    And P.S.: The nonstop “face Yoga” which Carole has to perform to camouflage her disturbing overbite is a big distraction for me. Lucky for her Ranjana is a friend and can give private tutorials. Lastly, doesn’t a book have to be published first before it’s optioned as a T.V. series or a movie? Just wondering…

    • Morning Wrecksie, I’m glad you enjoyed it. As for Carole’s book/TV series/movie deal, that’s a question someone with more experience than I have on the subject would have to answer. I would imagine that her connections with ABC and HBO, along with the fact that she’s friends with director Joel Schumaker (who was at the book party) can make a lot of things possible.

  11. Empress,
    Ur an attorney right?

    Do you think you can find out a cpl things please.

    1. I HEARD THAT Sonja and her ex settled their divorce a long time ago. Is this true? I hear Sonja is just looking for extra.
    2. Also, I also heard that Sonja isn’t allowed to have her daughter on the show and that’s the real reason. Sonja always talks about this towel line she had at (?? Wtf was that store again) No one has ever heard of these towels lol. Is thee a way you can find out?
    3.

    • Sorry hit reply by accident. I am finishing up.. gimme a cpl mins..

      • 3. George…
        George was Mary Lou Retton ( damm is that her name? ) accountant in the 80’s, she filed suit against him for dipping her off. There was tons of talk about it, but no one could find.the out come, I can get you some articles if you want or don’t know what I am talking about, but can you find out the put come?

      • 3. George…
        George was Mary Lou Retton ( damm is that her name? ) accountant in the 80’s, she filed suit against him for ripping her off. There was tons of talk about it, but no one could find.the out come, I can get you some articles if you want or don’t know what I am talking about, but can you find out the put come?

    • LOL! I’m retired, but I’ll try to answer a couple of your questions.
      1. As recently as this Summer, Mr. Morgan filed an appeal to Sonja’s claims (and a lower court decision) regarding interest due on arrearages he owed, the details of which were sketchy at best. It was a delay tactic – nothing more, nothing less. It looks like they’re still in negotiations and going back to court.
      2. Regrettably, law school doesn’t offer classes on household textiles, so your guess is as good as mine regarding her line of towels.
      3. George was sued by Mary Lou Retton over a bad investment. If there was an out of court settlement, the terms wouldn’t have been disclosed – the outcome will remain a mystery.

      • This is the citation (thx, dd) for the Morgan case:
        MORGAN v. MORGAN
        John Adams MORGAN v. Sonja Tremont MORGAN.
        No. 29877.
        Argued April 19, 2012. — June 26, 2012

    • Eastbayca says:

      Hi Likesphotoshop,
      Sonja doesn’t have a towel line.
      Sonja herself is not in favor of having her daughter on the show (I meet her sometime last year and asked the question).

      • HMMMM I heard that Sonja just says that. Can’t remember where I read, this was last season of RHNY , I heard that the father wouldn’t allow her too. SONJA IS known to exaggerate.
        Also I think it was this or last weeks blog Sonja mentioned her towel line in her blog again , she mentioned it the first time when they did the actual shoot, she referen es it to the Times Roman font that she had on her towel line. Im gonna go look. If my phone don’t die.

  12. I found it!! Its on the post called” business with pleasure”

    The logo girl is the same so essentially we agree she captures me. I just want a big “j” because my previous experience with other companies I owned has shown me that people misspell Sonja as “Sonya” or “Sonia” and when people Google I don’t want them going to another Sonja or different business entirely and getting distracted. We live in a busy society today!

    My first reaction is this font is like Times Roman printed off the computer. I got it 25 years ago on my bath towels at Bloomies!

    This guy holding the microwave is in a Samsung ad! I think I’m more original thank you very much. I’m the brand — not the Abercrombie

    My first reaction is this font is like Times Roman printed off the computer. I got it 25 years ago on my bath towels at Bloomies!

    • Likephoto….. when Sonja refers to the towels at Bloomies….it’s not a line of towels she had…It’s linens that she custom ordered with her name and or initials on…
      hope this helps..
      Diva

      • Melissa says:

        You know what, I thought the same thing as well.
        Here are a few lines from Sonja’s blog that make me literally LOL !

        “Before I was on the show I had people lending dresses, doing my hair/makeup for the exposure. Comping the catering to meet my clientele.”

        (Now I AM the caterer! LOL “)

        I am getting concerned for for these interns.

        They wait on her hand and foot, they clean for her, they play body guard (remember when Sonja said she had to ask a her intern to get a fan away from her when he got to close at a club?

        “Ramona and I have done tons of photoshooots. They always send hundreds of pics to choose from. In fact I crop and enhance them myself! My interns crop them professionally.”

        When do these “interns” get out of this? When do they have time for their selves to learn what they need too? Sounds like she has expectations for these interns before they even get there, sounds like they must have a set of skills. what are they getting out of this? The NY life experience? How can they get that when they have NO time for their selves. I don’t like this.
        I know the few quotes above don’t substantiate enough, I would be here all day if I were to give examples..

      • Melissa says:

        Design, your gravatar is adorable.

        • thedesigndiva2 says:

          Melissa…Like that huh ?? LOL LOL
          I miss those brownie days !!!
          Diva

          • Melissa says:

            Ha Ha! I know what you mean. Funny my son saw it, he said, “Mom, dogs can’t have chocolate”
            God bless him lol! And never let him have the other brownies, things aren’t like they used to be. Everything is laced.. oops. wrong place to talk about that.

  13. Melissa says:

    Empress of Aiken.
    That would be a great blog for you to do. Hint Hint.

  14. Melissa says:

    Likes, Is that Caroline Manzo in your avi?

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