St. Barths is now back to being a peaceful and beautiful island again. The ladies are back in New York City doing whatever it is that they do. Ramona hosted a small dinner party at her home, where Jacques and Mario, with the help of Ramona’s friend Pamela Morgan. LuAnn was all over Jacques because as she’s told us, she is terrified of losing him. Sonja also showed up, and was dressed in her costume for the off-off-Broadway version of “Hair”. It sure looked like she was ready for the dawning of Aquarius, anyway. While the men prepared dinner, the three ladies had a little talk about Aviva and the vacation. LuAnn was taking notes so that she could repeat the conversation, word for word, when she met up with Aviva again.
Heather and Carole also found a way to recuperate from their island adventure, by getting completely wasted. They looked like they were having fun, and even managed to get in a little “I love you, dude” moment. Now that’s when you know that those shots are working. During the times when they were sober for this episode, the two of them were doing their best to sprinkle fairy dust on the rest of the ladies in some sort of Goodwill mission. Their efforts were met with mixed results. Just as an aside, I’m actually starting to like Heather and her way of cutting through a lot of nonsense by facing people and issues head on. That’s not easy to do with any Housewives and she deserves a little recognition for her efforts.
Heather and LuAnn met for lunch, in part to discuss St. Barths and to give LuAnn a chance to promote her “I want a baby with Jacques” routine. She told Heather that she and Jacques have agreed to try IVF which Jacques thought meant the Israeli Defense Fund. It sounds as if he’s not only on board but completely informed about the process. LuAnn did manage to choke on her eggs during lunch, just to show how committed she is to having this baby.
Still under the impression that her words mean something, Heather tried to talk to Aviva about the way she spoke and behaved towards Sonja and Ramona during the vacation. Aviva simply let it all fly right over her head and went into another diatribe about the pair. She told Heather that Ramona and Sonja are inseparable and enable one another. This, of course, does not even remotely relate to the way she is with her husband Reid. That’s entirely different. Really, it is. In case her point wasn’t clear, she went on to describe the two as ungracious and unrefined for not giving her the hero’s welcome she had been expecting. Ramona was obviously the real problem in Aviva’s eyes, because she was called sleazy, cheesy and low-class. Carole was also in on this conversation and told Aviva that she should learn to say what she really means. On the other hand, Carole did say that Sonja is a narcissistic, self-absorbed drunk lady, so it does sound like some of the cool girls are losing their cool.
The final showdown came when Sonja and Aviva met for dinner. Aviva thought that it was a good time to explain the remarks and name calling that she had aimed at Ramona and Sonja. She must have found that redneck dictionary because she said that white trash means moral failure. I didn’t think that was much of an improvement over what she originally intended, but it seemed to satisfy her for the purposes of this particular lecture. Sonja, to her credit, told Aviva that it really didn’t matter what she had to say. The damage was done and she didn’t want anyone in her life who was more than ready and willing to kick her when she’s down.
Ramona and Sonja went to St. Barths to have a party. They drank too much, dressed like naughty pirates and danced on tables. Following the lead of Heather, they jumped, or were pushed, into a pool to splash around and laugh hysterically at each other and themselves. They did what you do when get to leave your real life and responsibilities somewhere else and just get to act like a complete fool. Sonja had a scene during which she shared with Ramona that she was having a meeting with her ex-husband who she hadn’t seen in 5 years. John Morgan is still dangling the carrot of a divorce settlement just out of reach of his former wife. Ramona said that she thinks Sonja still loves him. That’s too bad because her love is wasted on him. He is a man of enormous wealth who obviously hates his ex-wife more than he loves his daughter. While he’s punishing Sonja, he’s doing even worse to their child. I don’t think I’ll ever meet him, but I don’t think I’d like him very much.
So, Aviva was a runaway bride with a planned destination wedding in Jamaica and 250 guests. How did she intend to get there?
Here are all of the ladies’ blogs, with the exception of Carole’s. It’s late – again. Aviva doesn’t like us – people who send tweets, people who comment on Facebook, people who write blogs, people who comment on blogs, people who comment on the Huffington Post about the economic crisis and everyone who owns or doesn’t own Barbie dolls and pins.