The Real Housewives of New Jersey – A Bald Canary Sings

It would have been an hour well spent if Bravo had just allowed Gia to teach us all how to speak Italian.  Instead, they’re setting us and all of their cast up for a finale and reunion that will probably reach all time lows, even for Bravo.  Before we saw the beginnings of the annual brawl known as the Posche Fashion Show, we had to watch the Manzo family attending a brunch at the Hoboken pad of Albie, Christopher and, oh yea, Lindsey.   Greggy was missing, which was okay with me. Caroline was patting herself on the back about how well her children have turned out.  Lauren has her new business, Caface, and the two wonder boys have been  working so hard with BLK, and as we recently found out, the opening of their restaurant.  Caroline was trying to open windows to air out the apartment because Albie’s distraction, Lindsey, had helped cook.  While she was lavishing praise on her offspring, she failed to mention Albie’s live-in girlfriend, pretending she didn’t exist.  Did that sound like a mean brunch?  I thought that it sounded like a mean brunch.  Kathy’s feelings would have been hurt.  I think Lindsey’s were.

Speaking of Kathy, she and Richie went to see the owner of Bindi desserts, seeking to work with them in the promotion of her own creations.  Richie was as crude, if not more, than he normally is.  His remarks were disrespectful to Mr. Bindi as well as to Kathy.  They must have seen something in her desserts that caused them to overlook him, because they did agree to work with her.  I hope they made her promise to leave him home in the future.

Posche’s owner, Kim D., is busily inviting all of the ladies of Franklin Lakes, even issuing an apology to Melissa, to ensure that everyone will be there to bring on the drama that everyone denies they want to be any part of.   Kim D., has to have her makeup and hair done at Allure Salon.  She asked Teresa to go with her, and Teresa agreed, even though she normally has everything done at home.  There’s set up number one.  When they arrived, some bald guy named Angelo, who, by way of the Bravo’s captioning, was described as the salon’s PR manager, was lurking around.  Angelo offered to escort the women upstairs to begin their hair and makeup.  Angelo came back with drinks for the ladies and told Teresa that he knew her sister-in-law, Melissa. There’s setup number two.

Kim D. was practically gnawing her own arm off waiting to hear what kind of dirt he has up his sleeve – the same place where Bravo had written the lines he was supposed to deliver.   He told them Melissa used to be a dancer at his “gentleman’s club”.   Teresa said that she was upset about the information and didn’t want to hear anymore.  Angelo apologized for being the bearer of such awful news.  There’s setup number three.   He’s so sorry that he returns with ice for Kim D.’s drink and so that she can grill him some more about Melissa.  Teresa stepped out of the room – her heart was “beating 500” – but was eavesdropping during the rest of the inquisition.   Kim D., with giddy delight,  asked Angelo when Melissa had been a dancer, and he told her that it was about 7 years ago.  She then wanted to know if Melissa was any good at what she did, to which he replied that his customers were very sorry to see her go because she was very good.

The various covens began to arrive at the fashion show, which, probably for insurance reasons, was not held at The Brownstone.   All of them are crammed together in one booth.  Suddenly, Pete Giudice, Juicy’s brother, appeared because he has an unfulfilled longing to be a fashion critic.   Just as suddenly, and predictably, Angelo came over to the ladies’ booth.  There’s setup number four.  He honed right in on Melissa and asked if she remembered him.  Looking like that poor deer in the headlights, she stammered out a hello and then told Kathy that she couldn’t place him.  He looked familiar but she just couldn’t quite figure out who he was.   Lauren was texting someone and Caroline was whispering something to her.  We’ll probably figure out what that was about during the next episode – or not.  It all depends on how far Bravo wants to take this whole charade.  To add an interesting twist to this mess, Joe Gorga tweeted this right after the show:

Joe Gorga@joegorga 

“Let’s get something straight there is nothing wrong with stripping I love strippers LOL it’s the lying and the set up”

Who said anything about stripping?  Joe did.   The lying and the setups go both ways.

Jacqueline was pretty zoned out through much of this episode.  She played the martyr during a playdate at Teresa’s house, allowing Melissa and Teresa some one-on-one time.   Missing from the fashion show was Kim G., who is usually front and center at the event.  It’s usually best to beware of the quiet, or absent, ones.   I’m losing count of the number of setups, and I still think that there are few more in the making.  We know that all of this is happening out of sequence, but we’re not supposed to notice.   Bravo has produced a very bad play, with terrible scripts and even worse actors.    We’ll probably stick it out to see if any of it makes any sense at all, but by then we may not even care any more.   They’ve made the very bad decision to air the first night of the reunion on September 30th.  Some of our favorite network programs are returning that same night.  We really will have the option to just change the channel and maybe get our own “Revenge”.


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39 Responses to The Real Housewives of New Jersey – A Bald Canary Sings

  1. dickens says:

    Good job again, Empress.
    I’m sure not seeing any kind of set-up by Teresa. If she did set it up, she’s truly a master manipulator.

    • I’m agreeing with you along with a healthy dose of side-eye. I don’t know what Teresa would have to gain with setting up Melissa. OK, she doesn’t like her sister in law, but wouldn’t she also be guaranteeing that she would destroy whatever chance she had of any relationship with her brother?

  2. dickens says:

    Next week Jac says, “I’m getting texts from one of Teresa and I’s mutual friends.” What is wrong with people anymore?! Makes me want to scream!

  3. Vegas Chick says:

    I’m not sure if Teresa is involved but the fact that her heart is beating 500 bpm not only once, but twice makes me go… hmmm! Point is, she knew sumtin’ or otherwise, I have to question why Tre would be so stressed out. Of course, Bravo want us to believe that it’s Posche’s (sp?) Kim and her sneaky grins during bald Angelo’s entrances and exits sure would make one believe that she is the evil one behind it all.

    The funniest part of the the whole episode was the photo shoot prior to the big event. Everyone was posing and smiling like it was some sort of red carpet event during fashion week. For God’s sake, the store is a small time boutique in Franklin Lakes, NJ and certainly nothing of any consequence unless, of course, you are a RHONJ…. baaawaaahaha! In other words, give me a break. Just because NJ is conveniently located across the Hudson River from NY, doesn’t mean that it’s fashionable nor does it mean that anyone gives a chit…especially me… 🙂

    • Angelo is some piece of work. He and Melissa’s sisters were issuing all kinds of threats and calling each other names on Twitter right after the show.
      I did like the step and repeat for a closet-sized boutique. All I could think was that Aviva would have loved that kind of welcome.

  4. auntannmarie says:

    FOr me the fact that Theresa made such a big deal about, don’t talk about my family, I’m not comfortable with you talking about my family, was proof possitive Bravo set it up but Theresa and Kim snaggle hair D where in on it. You show me a salon in New Jersey that has a PR manager??? Bravo has been manipulating us all season with the blessings of the whole cast that watching it go down was neither suspenseful nor exciting!
    I will definitely be watching my new shows come Sunday! But thanks Bravo for the effort!

    • What! You don’t believe that Allure needs a PR manager? He did do extra duty by walking them upstairs and serving drinks and doing some pot-stirring. That’s Bravo-style PR, for sure.

  5. klmh says:

    Mmm, have to partially disagree with you on the Lindsey non comment from Caroline. I would imagine the brunch lasted more than 3 minutes. We don’t know anything other than that Bravo will take out the kind parts and leave the ridiculous or hurtful ones in, or even piece the comments together to change the entire content of the subject matter.
    I also don’t think this is a story line between the families. They haven’t talked with each other in a year. Idiocy yes, but something happened to this group that night that has disrupted the whole cast and their families.

    • klmh, I’m as suspicious of Bravo’s editing as the next viewer, but Caroline is the one who has told us that Albie’s focus should be on his work. She and Lauren have made more than a few snarky remarks about Lindsey since the day they met her. I think Albie and Christopher would do themselves a favor if they trimmed those apron strings just a little bit.
      IMHO, the story lines are whatever Bravo manufactures and manipulates. The viewers’ frustration is that we know too much about what has happened since taping ended and what is happening now, in real time.

      • klmh says:

        Im reading this as you want it both ways. Comments made by Caroline about Albie needing to focus on his career and disregarding Lindsey because we haven’t seen much interaction between the two is true, and that pursestrings need to be trimmed, but whatever Bravo manufactures in the Guidice and Gorga drama is manipulated? I guess we see what we want to see and this is another example of it.

        • I think I’ve been an equal opportunity critic when it comes to the cast and Bravo’s editing. I didn’t cut Teresa and Juicy any slack during the Napa phone call or their encounter in the vineyard. I also haven’t given them a pass regarding their legal entanglements. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, there’s no one here with clean hands and everyone, including us, is being manipulated. It isn’t a matter of what I want to see, it’s a matter of writing about the footage we’re allowed to see. I’m on Team Nobody.

          • klmh says:

            Me too. I just think we need to realize we are being manipulated and that things don’t go down as they seem, I’m some instances. We can see that the Gorga-Giudice family has been affected severely though. Wait, something just hit me. Didn’t someone say they saw Joe and Joe having lunch together several months ago? Maybe the family breakup isn’t true either. Why am I watching this sh*t?

  6. former bravo addict says:

    This all makes sense now last yr when Kim G. was tweeting and gave an interview saying bravo was texting her to go to the party and unbeknownst to Bravo, Kim has an apt. right by there and said she watched the whole thing. it took her how long to realise that bravo was playing her and using her lol.

    • Kim G. has her own reasons to blow the Gorgas and Giudices up. There is (or was) an outstanding bill for the party planner who was her friend and was stiffed by the Gorgas. Then she was escorted out of the Christmas party with her friend Monica, the wife of the opposing counsel in Juicy’s partner’s lawsuit. She was asked to leave by Joe, who, at that time, was trying to be the good brother. I don’t know if she still is, but she was BFFs with Jacqueline who is playing so many ends to the middle, it’s no wonder she dozes off in the middle of a screaming match.
      I guess we’ll be shaking our heads for a while longer.

  7. windycitywondering1 says:

    Teresa has been pretty steadfast in her desire to repair her relationship with her brother and knows that for that to actually happen she has to accept his wife as well. IMO, she is a pawn in a game she has seen played before by Bravo and she has no desire to set Melissa up because that would hurt her family. What I don’t understand is why neither Kathy or Melissa changed sides – Teresa would have helped them as family does. Kathy would be showcasing her little desserts at her book signings and Teresa would be encouraging folks to buy Melissa’s itunes. The two season non takedown hurts everyone except the intended target.

    • I had the same thought about Teresa and her brother being able to go forward if she is, in fact, part of this grand conspiracy. I know you can’t tell much from a 10 second preview, but she didn’t look happy about Melissa threatening to call Joey. Now, that could mean that she was in on the setup and it backfired on her, or she had been setup by Bravo, with some help, and realized that Joey would blame her for it.
      Calling these people dysfunctional doesn’t even come close to describing them. Bravo has all of us talking about this mess, and, to them, that’s all that matters, right? Their motto should be “Damn those families – full speed ahead”.
      I know why Andy has drinking games. It’s the only way he can sleep at night.

  8. Donna says:

    NJ is exhausting and I will follow it to the bitter end. Gone is the fun and now there is darkness. They have “jumped the shark” and landed in a big pile of chit.

    I do not trust Bravo and their closed captions. That vinyard was a total sham, who talks without moving their lips, or the lips don’t match the words, per Bravo CC? Someone said Jac said it will be cleared up because someone forgot to take off their mic and Bravo supplied the closed captions.

    • Donna, One of the reasons I took a little break from writing about New Jersey was because it had become so dark. Now, it looks like it’s gotten even worse, which I didn’t think was even possible. It’s harder to watch because these are real families and they’re just breaking into pieces. I know that Bravo doesn’t force them to sign their contracts, but once they do, the cast members are at the mercy of however the network wants to portray them. There isn’t enough money in Bravo’s coffers that could entice me to set up any member of my family. There’s just so much that they’re going to regret in the years to come.
      Very interesting about the CC. I know you’ve mentioned it at Quincy’s before re: Bravo’s CC versus the provider’s. One more Bravo thing we can’t believe…SMH

  9. Across the HWs blogosphere, it looks like viewers are mad as hell and ready to tell Bravo they’re not going to take it anymore. Please take the time to read some posts by other bloggers. LynnFam, Priscilla from Wasilla and Quincy’s site are listed on The Farms’ blogroll – all of them are very interesting regarding the NJ debacle. I’ve also put the links to Stoopid Housewives and Famewhorgas here – they’ve added some details and background about these characters.

  10. honeypoopoo says:

    My momma won’t let me watch this show. She sed they all be sleezy fame hoars that aren’t smart enuff to lick her possum fur bootz. Momma dont want me to lern no bad habutts frum dem. Beesides dis show is on affer my bedtime. I needz my booty sleep.

  11. melthehound says:

    This stripper gate setup is such a load of bull. Sorry Bravo but I’m not buying that this is spontaneous reality TV in any way shape or form. All season long, every scene that the Gorgas and most of the rest, even Teresa at times, were so well rehearsed looking that there is no way in hell they could be real ‘Reality’ TV. They aren’t showing us what happened, they are showing us what they want us to think happened. I said over in the chat room, that if Teresa returns with this cast, for a third season of this bashing, it would only confirm that she thrives on it. Now that it’s all out there, Why she would want to continue participating with these asshats, is way beyond me. The paychecks can’t be that good.

    • mth, The thing is, none of us even care what she did at that club. It’s all a ridiculous farce and we’re being played. You welcomed me back to the darkside. It’s that and more, but they’re the ones who will have to live with the fallout. I know you’ve been in Teresa’s corner for a while, but yes, shame on her, too, if she wants this more than her real life.

      • melthehound says:

        I agree Empress. I care less what MeGo did in her ‘previous’ life than I do about her life now, which is zero. To me, these are all characters on a badly acted TV show. Always have been, always will be. If Teresa has sold her real life to the real devil, Bravo, to sell some cookbooks and a c0cktail drink, then shame on her too. Up until this point, I’ve figured she was stuck with it because she didn’t know what the others really thought of her. Remember the S3 reunion was filmed after the ‘fashion’ show and before the fabolini launch. Now she knows what the others really think of her and they haven’t begun filming another season yet. So if she comes back for more, then it’s on her and I think she’s going to find herself pretty lonesome.

  12. Donna says:

    hummm What if Melissa and Baby Joey set up Melissa to shove Teresa out and then they are the “rock stars”

    • I wouldn’t put anything past any of this cast. Whoever played a part in this setup has just about sealed the fate of the Gorga/Giudice families.
      BTW, is it too late to order my tin foil hat for the reunion? Do you do special orders? I look good in red.

      • Donna says:

        I made mine from A-foil that I have. LOL one day I forgot I had it on and walked outside on my front porch. hehehe the looks my neighbors gave me, great-grannie has gone wild or she is just plain nutty

  13. As some of you know, I have family members from the elizabeth and montville NJ area… WORD on the street is… Tre is worried that the more digging people do into MEGO the more digging into baby joey’s past and his ‘incident’ that allegedly happened a few years back will really be exposed… hmmm
    I wonder how soon folks from PBCounty will be talking about Mego’s five finger discount charge she has/had down here…why oh why do these people think they can appear on these types of shows and not think their past wont come back and bite them in the ass….LOL

    I posted this over at Lynnfam also

    ust a quick FYIW … Mr Fords nephew owns a music/recording studio in LA..He is/was the music producer for shows like The Sing Off ,i carly , shows on MTV etc…
    I called him to ask about how people are mic’d for reality tv shows like the HWS…
    He told me that NOT every character is mic’d… the production crew has boom mics and with today’s technology they can actually zoom a boom into hearing a pin drop..i laughed and told him we say “it was so quiet you could hear a frog fart ” …He now wants to use that line… So he says that people like Pete D and Angelo very well were not mic’d as they are not central players in the show…
    his words about MEGO and her music …. he laughed.. said not to worry she’s not even in the category of a one hit wonder like Norman Greenbaum..

    hugs and peace

    • Thank you for sharing the video and the info on the microphones. What I’m having a problem with is how eager Angelo was to spill the beans about Melissa. He sure looked like he was enjoying being Bravo’s messenger of doom at Allure and the fashion show. Before his account was suspended, he was engaging in a bloody war on Twitter with Melissa’s sisters, especially Lysa Simpson. Both sides were screeching about lawyer letters – threatening each other and carrying on like total asshats. There’s just no end to the ugly with the New Jersey franchise.

  14. Vegas Chick says:

    Incident??? Hmmm? Fess up, Diva, lol.

  15. thedesigndiva2 says:

    Vegas Chick…. the “incident ‘ where allegedly joey had his way w/o permission with someone… I am pretty sure once the reunion has been shown , tongues will start to wag…. LOL winks

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