I’m not sure that I understand the difference between selling stories to tabloids that spill dirt on one’s fellow cast members and just spilling similar dirt about one’s cast mates on national television. Teresa was paid to give interviews and have her picture on the covers of InTouch Weekly. Her husband said so. Caroline calls Teresa an ugly person, a fraud and a fake, among other things, so that all of us can hear it without buying any magazines. She’s paid by Bravo to do just that. Teresa made some stupid comments about stripper car washes in that godforsaken cookbook and Caroline wants an apology – not just any apology – an apology which must contain all the perfect words that Caroline wants to hear. I don’t think that such an apology exists and I don’t think it would ever be accepted. I don’t know why Teresa wants to hang onto a lie about her tabloid paychecks. It’s no secret. It’s no sin. Just admit it. None of us care.
These two women are living in parallel universes with what they perceive is truth. They’ve been fighting the same fights for so long that they’ve lost track of what any of it is really about. Teresa lives in her own fantasy world where bankruptcy and infidelity and a husband’s criminal activities are forgotten, even forgiven, if you just push it away and keep smiling. Caroline sets standards for others that she isn’t willing, or able, to hold herself to. She’s at her best when she has allies who will help her fight her battles and nod their heads in agreement while she beats down the enemy. Her children are quick to come to her side and they probably always will. That would be healthy and expected under normal circumstances, but there is nothing healthy or normal going on here. She’s made it quite clear what can happen when any show of disloyalty is displayed. Knowing that she’s got them solidly in her camp, she’s willing to search for more soldiers – even members of Teresa’s family.
Kathy is neither a good cousin nor a good friend. She’s trying so hard to please both sides of this nonsense that she really has become just a foolish looking nonentity. She’s completely intimidated by Caroline – so much so that she can’t look her cousin in the eye in the midst of the fray. When she is finally out of Caroline’s earshot, she becomes a part of Teresa’s family again, trying to console and reassure her that everything will be alright. I don’t know what she heard, but I didn’t see anything close to alright. Kathy is both manipulated and manipulating, so caught up in this drama that she looks like all she cares about is being on camera. She and her husband could be edited out of all of the scenes and I’m not sure I’d even notice.
While the women were screaming in the background, the husbands started their own argument. Chris Laurita said that Juicy called him “shady” to some bottling business person. He said that he wouldn’t call Juicy that to anyone. I don’t know who called who what, but Juicy certainly doesn’t hold back when it comes to how he feels about someone, so maybe it did happen. Caroline was hollering that Albert would take Juicy down. I don’t know what that means, either. Albert was snoring through much of the battle. Maybe he’s bored because he’s heard it all before. I don’t think Caroline ever stops talking about Teresa or anyone else who’s crossed her. I don’t blame him for falling asleep.
All of these people have problems. There are reports flying everywhere about all of their respective legal troubles. The Brownstone is no one’s legal residence and doesn’t give its’ owner the right to sit on a Water Commission outside of his county. Owners of banquet halls should pay their employees’ overtime. Tabloids shouldn’t pay third parties for stories so that the folks giving those interviews have a way to hide their income. Bottles of ugly looking water don’t have miraculous healing powers, and to say that they do, giving anyone false hope, is unforgivable. Shady is a good word all the way around. Everybody’s got dirty hands, and they all think they’re innocent and right.
The fight between Caroline and Teresa spilled over onto a “special” Watch What Happens Live. It wasn’t necessary. We didn’t learn anything new and it doesn’t look either one is about to budge one inch. If there was a moment during this hour and a half which was worthwhile, it was when Joey and Melissa packed their bags, going home with Teresa and Juicy. Melissa had told Caroline to let it go, and she and her husband put their money where their mouths were. Caroline was crying about something. I think it was because she realized some of her allies had defected. Jacqueline was Jacqueline. Maybe she was rehearsing for the next reunion. She turned it all off, feigning sleep and only popped up once to utter some gibberish. She looked a lot like the dormouse at Alice in Wonderland’s Mad Tea Party.
Update – Apparently Teresa is a fan of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, too : http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey/season-4/blogs/teresa-giudice/teresa-in-wonderland