The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Hot Tub of Sour Grapes

I’m not sure that I understand the difference between selling stories to tabloids that spill dirt on one’s fellow cast members and just spilling similar dirt about one’s cast mates on national television.  Teresa was paid to give interviews and have her picture on the covers of InTouch Weekly.  Her husband said so.  Caroline calls Teresa an ugly person, a fraud and a fake, among other things, so that all of us can hear it without buying any magazines.   She’s paid by Bravo to do just that.   Teresa made some stupid comments about stripper car washes in that godforsaken cookbook and Caroline wants an apology – not just any apology – an apology which must contain all the perfect words that Caroline wants to hear. I don’t think that such an apology exists and I don’t think it would ever be accepted.   I don’t know why Teresa wants to hang onto a lie about her tabloid paychecks.  It’s no secret.  It’s no sin.  Just admit it.  None of us care.

These two women are living in parallel universes with what they perceive is truth.  They’ve been fighting the same fights for so long that they’ve lost track of what any of it is really about.    Teresa lives in her own fantasy world where bankruptcy and infidelity and a husband’s criminal activities are forgotten, even forgiven, if you just push it away and keep smiling.  Caroline sets standards for others that she isn’t willing, or able, to hold herself to.   She’s at her best when she has allies who will help her fight her battles and nod their heads in agreement while she beats down the enemy.   Her children are quick to come to her side and they probably always will.  That would be healthy and expected under normal circumstances, but there is nothing healthy or normal going on here.  She’s made it quite clear what can happen when any show of disloyalty is displayed.  Knowing that she’s got them solidly in her camp, she’s willing to search for more soldiers – even members of Teresa’s family.

Kathy is neither a good cousin nor a good friend.  She’s trying so hard to please both sides of this nonsense that she really has become just a foolish looking nonentity.  She’s completely intimidated by Caroline – so much so that she can’t look her cousin in the eye in the midst of the fray.  When she is finally out of Caroline’s earshot, she becomes a part of Teresa’s family again, trying to console and reassure her that everything will be alright.  I don’t know what she heard, but I didn’t see anything close to alright.   Kathy is both manipulated and manipulating, so caught up in this drama that she looks like all she cares about is being on camera.  She and her husband could be edited out of all of the scenes and I’m not sure I’d even notice.

While the women were screaming in the background, the husbands started their own argument.  Chris Laurita said that Juicy called him “shady” to some bottling business person.   He said that he wouldn’t call Juicy that to anyone.  I don’t know who called who what, but Juicy certainly doesn’t hold back when it comes to how he feels about someone, so maybe it did happen.  Caroline was hollering that Albert would take Juicy down.   I don’t know what that means, either.   Albert was snoring through much of the battle.   Maybe he’s bored because he’s heard it all before.  I don’t think Caroline ever stops talking about Teresa or anyone else who’s crossed her.   I don’t blame him for falling asleep.

All of these people have problems.  There are reports flying everywhere about all of their respective legal troubles.  The Brownstone is no one’s legal residence and doesn’t give its’ owner the right to sit on a Water Commission outside of his county.  Owners of banquet halls should pay their employees’ overtime.   Tabloids shouldn’t pay third parties for stories so that the folks giving those interviews have a way to hide their income.   Bottles of ugly looking water don’t have miraculous healing powers, and to say that they do,  giving anyone false hope, is unforgivable.  Shady is a good word all the way around.  Everybody’s got dirty hands, and they all think they’re innocent and right.

The fight between Caroline and Teresa spilled over onto a “special” Watch What Happens Live.  It wasn’t necessary.  We didn’t learn anything new and it doesn’t look either one is about to budge one inch.  If there was a moment during this hour and a half which was worthwhile, it was when Joey and Melissa packed their bags, going home with Teresa and Juicy.  Melissa had told Caroline to let it go, and she and her husband put their money where their mouths were.  Caroline was crying about something.  I think it was because she realized some of her allies had defected.   Jacqueline was Jacqueline.  Maybe she was rehearsing for the next reunion.  She turned it all off, feigning sleep and only popped up once to utter some gibberish.  She looked a lot like the dormouse at Alice in Wonderland’s Mad Tea Party.

Update –  Apparently Teresa is a fan of Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, too :


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20 Responses to The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Hot Tub of Sour Grapes

  1. thedesigndiva2 says:

    Afternoon All..
    just had to do it..

    So who’s the Red Queen ?? Who’s Alice ?? in Joisey …
    Will have to watch the whole thing when it reruns. only watched a tad of it at 1130..then the weather here got REALLY BAD flipped to local weather instead..We got SLAMMED..under water bathrooms but got my 5 gallon ‘camping’ bucket handy ..whoop whoop… hard on the hiney for sure….
    I’ll post more later..
    and for others waiting on Isaac..buckle up…the right side of this storm is NASTY

    • Hi, dd. I’ll let you decide who in Joisey would be the Queen of Hearts, the Mad Hatter or Alice. 😉
      Yep, the right side of a hurricane is called the “dirty side” for a reason. I saw that Palm Beach International had 10″ of rain in 24 hours. What a mess and just what you needed, right?

  2. Boycotting the shows, but not the blogs says:

    Thanks for the re-cap. Once again these Jersey people have shown us that they are just NOT nice people no matter what mask they choose to wear at that moment. They are whoring themselves out on this show to make money, and to make it anyway they can, cookbooks, water, wine, catering halls, etc… I still don’t understand how such a dumb group of people have made so much money, I smell Mafia all over these losers! Caroline is a big bully making people bow down to her, she, perhaps, is the phoniest of them all – pretending family come first and being thicker than thieves, but she doesn’t speak to family members and holds grudges – JUST GROW UP ALL OF YOU and better yet, Bravo needs to recast this show SOON!

    • Hey Boycotting. Lots of dumb people make lots of money for all sorts of dumb reasons. Jersey Shore’s Snooki and the Situation, as well Madam Jenner and her Little House of Kardashians are some good examples. I still don’t know exactly what it is they do, but they’re making a ton of money doing it. Bravo won’t change this cast because they’re ratings gold.

  3. melthehound says:

    Once again, Empress, welcome back to the dark side of the HWs force. Though, it’s all pretty dark lately, this NJ crew really takes the big slice of that cake. I’m a Teresa fan through and through so anyone who bashes her, on or off the show, for ratings or magazine sales, or dirty water sales, or anything else of the like, I’m going to have a few words to say about it. Problem is, they are always the same words and can be summarized with 4 letters.. STFU. I just knew this ‘trip’ wasn’t going to end well, it just couldn’t, this is Bravo. Manzorita has been saying (in show timeline) all season, that she’s Done with Teresa, wants nothing to do with her. Well then dammit, be done (again, show timeline). Keep her name out of your mouth and there will be no conflict between you.

    Oh that Kathy W. Ain’t she sweet? I’ve never for one second bought her goody goody act or believed she’s ‘all about family’. I think she’s no different than any of them, there to make a buck any way she can. In this case it happens to be stirring shit otherwise, we wouldn’t even know she’s on the show. What else has she brought besides her sister and her stuck in the 1980s husband? I say more Rosie and less Wakilie, the entire bunch of them.

    To me most of these people have become green eyed monsters (to those who don’t know, that means they are jealous). I don’t think they are jealous of her situation or problems but they are jealous that she beat all of them to the punch of expanding her bravolebrity. Using her time on the show to market herself. Whether you like T or not, no matter how dumb you think she is, no matter how you think she got there, the fact remains, she got there first and they can’t stand it. It’s only been a week and I”m sick to death of Toastgate (I like strawberry jam on my toast for anyone who cares). In fact, I’m sick of the xGates all together. Still in radio mode with these shows, I’m not completely certain who said what but it doesn’t matter. They’re all full to the teeth of crap.

    • MTH – “Though, it’s all pretty dark lately, this NJ crew really takes the big slice of that cake.” I think you know how I feel about the NJ cast. It’s Bravo’s darkest franchise because these people are families. Unlike LuAnn or Nene or Gretchen, the Gorgas, Manzos, Lauritas and Giudices can’t just punch their time cards and go on their merry ways until the next season of contrived nonsense. This is the stuff of which broken families are made and why it’s so hard to watch. I do agree, though, that Teresa beat them to the punch when it came to branding herself, and the rest are left with BLK water and their own failed plans for cookbooks and other get rich quick schemes.
      If Caroline is done, then yes, stay done and leave the Gorgas, Giudices and Wakiles to work out their own problems. She has more than enough of her own.
      I’m guessing you won’t be reserving her book at Amazon. 😉

      • melthehound says:

        I agree completely. The cake, IMO, is cut by Bravo and when it comes to the darkness, that’s why I think NJ takes or is given the biggest slice- Real family. No, I won’t be reserving her book but a sick part of me is enjoying reading the comments there. That is until the point where it’s just sad to watch, as it’s becoming.

    • Belle says:

      MTH, thank you. The “I’m Done” comments from Caroline also jumped out at me. I’ve been “done” with some folks in my life and when that happens you walk away and don’t look back. You do not keep screaming and arguing your points. And then run into another room sobbing. Caroline is not “done” by any stretch. But she got that line from one of her PR folks and it sounded good to her.

  4. Donna says:

    I Hope you don’t mind, I’m bringing over my comments from another blog.

    Like Jac I fell asleep while watching the mad, mad, mad world of housewives. So I watched it today, darn no tv cc’s were recorded this time. I hope at the end my song won’t be “dizzy, I’m so dizzy”.

    This show is no longer the Real Housewives, It is now the Real Houswives, Real Househusbands, & Real Children of Housewives/Househusbands.

    I’ve been upset with Juicy, but I’m going to look at him sidewise because The Don always has to point out he is drunk. Is he really drunk or is she planting seeds? I’m trying to read between the lines.

    So we’re at table saint Kathy again, LOL JoeyGo along with Juicy strips to get in the hot tub to cause a distraction. Now the gals are joining in, (how long before they went from evening gowns to bathing suits?)

    Kathy sits next to Teresa, again, Why start a conversation about The Don from a few feet away? Now I’m confused The Don doesn’t want to be a part of this conversation, but says that Kathy should turn around, turn around so she cant butt in. LOL. Kathy I caught that crap-eating grin when you left the hot tub, your mixer was on.

    What I am getting from this name tossing crap fest, TA DA Teresa wrote something unflattering about Caroline in her book, WAIT OMG she talked to Magazines!!! Every half-brained nit wit knows that the rag mags make up/twist stories, including the players on this show. So everyone gets their panties in a bunch for quality screen time. It’s like you can’t pry this grudge from my cold dead hands. Even Juicy said “let it go”.

    What is interesting is that the Gorga’s pretty much stayed silent throughout this slap down.

    I did get upset that The Don threw Teresa’s mother under the bus. I call that turning the mixer on full blast.

    I’m glad that the Gorga’s supported Teresa, if Kathy wanted to show support for her cousin, she should have left too, even if she was angry with Teresa and Teresa was angry at her. That simple action could have turned a corner between them. But no, she chose The Don. Maybe it’s because how I feel. If someone had gang-banged up on my ex-brother I would have left, not with him, but in showing the others that I don’t support that type of behavior.

    I had a ton of thoughts after watching the interactions of this bloodletting by the Gladiators in the Coliseum. I’m waiting to hear what Dina says.

    On WWHL Teresa said she tried to call The Don (the one that has the cold dead grude holding hands) to apologize but she didn’t answer the phone. I have caller ID. Teresa said that she stopped saying something because out of respect for Dina & her Mom. hummmm

    • Donna, I don’t think the problem between Caroline and Teresa is all about tabloids or cookbooks, and I’m not sure that Dina is going to fill in the blanks. I think it’s all of the above with a hefty dose of a brawl in Punta Cana mixed in for good measure. That happened about 18 months ago and I’m sure, by now, the Manzo boys/men have convinced themselves and their mother that big bad Juicy made them stomp and kick those two men at the Hard Rock.
      Teresa alludes to knowing something about Caroline and Albert’s marriage. She’s said that Caroline should worry more about her own and less about Teresa’s. So, “Teresa said that she stopped saying something because out of respect for Dina & her Mom. hummmm” – hmmm, indeed. 😉

      • Donna says:

        Yep, my ears perked up at “skeletons in her marriage closet” There were unfounded rumors that the Brownstown apartments is where Albert had his “trysts”. He has been acting strange this season.

  5. misszippity says:

    Only wish Melissa had spoken to Caroline directly that she needed to give it up – instead of later in her interview. After Teresa left the room, M. assured C. they would still be friends and it wouldn’t be a problem. Would have been VERY impressed if she had had the courage to stand up and say “enough” after Lauren jumped in the bloodletting, but……she didn’t. But, at least they left w/ J&T; I give credit where credit is due even if I am not crazy about that person.

    • misszippity, Joey also had an opportunity to be a good brother when Juicy told Caroline to end it. We know that Joey is more than capable of getting his point across when he’s upset – we saw that when he called his sister garbage at his son’s christening. Instead, the men all just sat there, swapped a few kisses, waiting for the “girls” to work it out until Juicy finally told Teresa that they were going home. Does Caroline possess some sort of Kryptonite that renders everyone around her weak and speechless? Maybe they should bottle that and sell it. I’d buy some. 😉

      • misszippity says:

        well, I can assure you of one thing: I am not a shrinking violet, but that woman scares the beejeebies out of me! I doubt I would challenge her about anything and certainly would never want someone like that as an acquaintance, much less a so-called friend. She is definitely in control, and no one crosses her. Poor Joey, he has had many opportunties to be a good brother – he just wants to be famous and get attention; I doubt he has that many “sensibilities” regarding what is appropriate behavior. For all Caroline’s yakking about loyalty and family, what does she consider Melissa and Joe’s constantly attacking Teresa and Joe? Oh, yeah…..that’s loyalty to HER, Caroline…..and that’s good. I think if they did bottle something like you described at least it would sell better than BLK water (which you NEVER see sitting on their counters w/ the regular bottled water).

  6. thedesigndiva2 says:

    Question…If indeed this feud is still somehow fueled by events that took place in Punta Cana..why in the world would they all agree to still go on YET another vacation together ??!!!!
    There’s something deeper going on here and someone just needs to SPILL IT and BE DONE with it once and for all… something tells me there is money involved in all of this ….
    BIG AL… LOL… I said the first season that he was having his way with “others” and folks poo poo the very idea of it…HA….Al is just like his brother Tommy and another reason for the bitterness between Caroline and Dina… was Caroline who PUSHED Dina to go ahead and marry Tommy in spite of his cheating…

    I wonder if BERNIE will ever spill the beans ???

    • “why in the world would they all agree to still go on YET another vacation together ??!!!!” – You’ve got me – contracts? money? who knows. Trying to figure out what motivates that gang is like herding cats.
      IMO – Bernie has more than enough problems without getting in the middle of this one. I think people are keeping secrets in every direction. Are Bernie and Rudy still BFFs? Now that would be some bean spilling. 😉

  7. disgrazia4 says:

    Great Blog Empress. The comments are all right on the money. I would add that there is very likely a special room reserved in hell for Bravo et al for breaking up real life families for their reel life soap opera. Also, don’t put Lil Joey and Melissa leaving on Melissa. That was all Joey. Left to her own decisions Mel would most definitely stayed…with sycophant Kathy and vulgar Ritchie, who, like Caro, cannot keep Teresa out of his mouth. What’s up with that?

  8. plainviewsue says:

    Very well written!!!! Don’t know why I never knew about this blog before!

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