The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Whine Country

I haven’t written about the good people of New Jersey in a while, but it’s kind of  like that riding a bicycle thing.    It’s not all that hard to jump right back on and pedal away.  Tonight’s episode was unavoidable, if you write about Bravo’s Housewives.  You couldn’t go anywhere, and I mean anywhere – whether it was on television, on the internet or in the checkout line at the grocery store, where they place all of the tabloids – without seeing something about JuicyJoe calling his wife nasty names.    Bravo seemed to revel in the story, putting a video on their website so that all of us could see and hear Juicy on his cell phone.   Teresa gave an interview to InTouch Weekly magazine about her reaction to her husband’s comments and the impact on their marriage.   I’m going to put a little disclaimer in here.  I was forced, against my better judgment, to look at that article.  I was at Kroger, in the checkout line, and had been muttering about the fact that Maxwell House had made their container smaller but was still charging me the same price – like I wouldn’t notice.  To keep me quiet, my husband handed me the magazine and said, “Here, this is about one of those Housewives you watch.  Maybe you could do some research.”   It was enough of a distraction to get us out of the store without incident.

The article had quotes from Teresa stating that she was not happy with Juicy’s behaviors and that he would have to straighten up or she would leave.  Now, we know that these episode were filmed nearly a year ago.  Juicy and Teresa are still together, cavorting on beaches, smiling and laughing.  She didn’t leave.  I don’t know if he’s changed.   There were rumors floating about that Teresa had threatened to sick her attorneys on Bravo after she saw the some of the footage.  Bravo’s response was to edit even more of the now infamous phone call into the episode.  Maybe I’m making more out of this than I should, but that sure sounds like very vindictive,  even blackmail-like, behavior, but that’s Bravo and the contracts signed in Hell.

The premise for the trip to Napa was for the Manzo boys and Chris Laurita to explore a business opportunity with Levendi wines.  Bringing along all of their cast mates made no sense at all.  Napa is one of the most beautiful parts of the country.  Touring wineries and enjoying wine tastings are was not things that most of the Gorga/Laurita/Manzo/Giudice gang should even be near.  The argument about Kentucky Fried Chicken was more their style.  They could’ve done a blind taste test between the original recipe and the extra crispy.  They managed to embarrass themselves and their hosts, both at the Levendi Winery and at the Lancaster Estate.   Only Baby Joey could find a sculpture of a lion and want to compare it to Tarzan.  He even mounted the statue in some sort of cross species mating ritual.

There was a birthday party for Caroline and each of her children offered a toast.   Juicy offered some kind of toast, too.  Then he got up from the table to take that phone call.  He was chatting with someone who he sounded happy to hear from.  He even chuckled in some sort of odd way, as if the caller had said something that really, really pleased him.  Teresa followed him, a few moments later, and Juicy began his expletive laden side of a conversation with the mystery caller.  He called his wife a bitch and a c&%#  to that person and then hung up.  He called Teresa a retard and a pain in the ass when she asked him who he was talking to.  Juicy pretended to be talking to someone about work, someone who didn’t speak English.  Teresa was uncomfortable enough to shake her head at her husband and even pinch him on the arm, trying to remind him that everything they were saying and doing was being recorded for posterity by Bravo.

Then Teresa did something I found sadly desperate.  She seduced, well, nearly attacked, her husband in the vineyard.  While he repeatedly referred to his wife as a f%&#ing whore and tried to fend her off, his wife climbed him like one of those nearby vines.   Of course, the dinner guests looked on, not that Teresa and Juicy had done much to find a more secluded location for their tryst, and gave a running commentary on their activities.  At least Baby Joey looked a little ashamed to be any part of the whole scene.  It was pathetic and disturbing, and I’m sure Bravo loved every minute of it.  Teresa said that her husband needs to get a little every day or he gets cranky.  I say that Teresa should have ripped that phone out of his fat little fingers and used it to call those attorneys of hers to get the divorce papers in the works.  Now that might have made him cranky.  No one should be humiliated that way.  The fact that Teresa demeaned herself, in front of a crowd which wants nothing more than to see her fail, was very difficult to watch.

It was reassuring to know that Caroline hasn’t changed.  Her face is still frozen in that same bitter and angry scowl, which no amount of Botox could undo at this point.  She is still working on alienating everyone from Teresa.  A truce between Jacqueline and Teresa has made her even more determined to bring the woman down.  Cousin Kathy is the latest ally in training and Caroline is doubling her efforts on that front.  During their last dinner together at Napa, Teresa offered a toast – to Jacqueline and Chris, Caroline and Albert and to her brother Joe and Melissa.  She didn’t mention Kathy.  I don’t know if that was intentional or an oversight.   What Teresa didn’t know was that Caroline had already planted her demonic seeds of doubt, leaving Kathy with hurt feelings at what she perceived as a premeditated slight by Teresa.  What Caroline gets out of this, I have no idea. What this fight is really about is anyone’s guess – and there have been plenty of guesses.  If it’s all about a cookbook, then Caroline is more petty than any of us thought.  If there’s something else, something more personal, then I think we, as viewers, have a right to know.  These programs are all about looking into the lives of these people.  We’ve seen and heard it all.  I’m sure we can handle the truth, even if it comes from Caroline.


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25 Responses to The Real Housewives of New Jersey – Whine Country

  1. dickens says:

    I love your observations and I agree with every word you said.
    This bunch gets more disgusting every week.
    I also want to know why everyone is so mad at Teresa.
    Are Teresa and Caroline going to be on WWHL together next week? That’ll be must-see-tv for sure!

    • Hi dickens, Thank you for your comment. RhoNJ and a special WWHL? Yep, should make for an interesting (and long) night. I’ll make sure that I have an ample supply of my overpriced Maxwell House at the ready. 🙂

  2. simone says:

    People dislike teresa because she is a delusional twit. She gets what she deserves from Joe. No sympathy here. Just disgust.

    • simone, I don’t have any scientific data to support my assumption, but Teresa, along with all of the NJ family members, do seem to have their fair share of fans and detractors. That’s what makes them all the more interesting, and polarizing.

  3. donnalee says:

    People may see Teresa as somewhat delusional when it comes to her marriage but really that phone call could have been to anyone. It was not as intimate as Bravo and their nasty blogger friends like Naught but Nice Rob put out there. Where was that supposed female voice that says *Hey Baby* Saw the back to back episodes and it was not there. And honestly if I were the *supposed other woman* and heard some guy call his wife those names…that would be dump time for me. Talk like that shows a lack of respect for women and surely I would be next in line for him to talk to me like that. Teresa says that he apologized and maybe he did, however, if there were my husband he would be apologizing on National TV etc. and I still might dump him. Also, this took place a year ago and she is still with him, and if that was a female he was talking , she went BYE BYE and decided he was not worth talking about it to the press. Time will tell!

    • donnalee, Since my very first post on this blog, I’ve made it clear how much I dislike the foolishness that the Bravo execs and Andy Cohen engage in. I, like you, don’t trust their editing at all. If they like a cast member it’s very obvious, and if they don’t, well, that Bravolebrity is mincemeat. Yes, you’re absolutely right – time will tell.

  4. Good morning all.. I am up early ..all excited like a “first time looking for a job teenager”.. have my interview in an hour with papa johns…LOL LOL
    feels weird to be heading back out into the “wilderness”, but it’s something I gotta I get away from the house and breathe….WHOOP WHOOP
    So…JOISEY… was so disgusted by the uncouthness of ALL of them that I couldnt watch the whole thing…I mean …REALLY!!!! Given a golden opportunity to have a national audience and the ability to further your financial goals..IE hawking of wares..and EVERY WEEK it’s the same old shit…. DAMN…do these people not have anything else to converse about BUT each other….I dont have any sympathy for any of them.. they get as good as they give… and what a fine example tre is setting for the future of her four daughters… she has set the woman movement back to the 50’s….but..if that’s what turns her on then she is open to all the comments that come her way…
    Hopefully this will be the last and FINAL season of this crap…Bravo has failed to deliver
    ENTERTAINMENT to my household…..
    Off to “glitterize” the doooooo…

    Have a good one
    hugs and peace
    Diva :>)

    • Mornin’ dd, Good luck today – fingers and toes are crossed for you. Re: Teresa – “if that’s what turns her on then she is open to all the comments that come her way” – maybe she needs one of our custom designed tin foil hats. 😉

    • Arabracer says:

      Good luck Diva!!!

      • thedesigndiva2 says:

        Thanks Arabracer…No go on the Papa Johns job.. the “teenager” manager never even returned the “promised” call. Talked to a few others that interviewed with her and she did the same thing to them.One lady is pissed as she was told she had the job and told to go buy safety tread shoes and khaki pants and that she would start in a few days.. well she never got the call back and when she went in to find out what was up… the girl had hired got it.. another teenager… Seems that’s all that they want to work there.. teenagers !!! to hell with us women who NEED to work to pay bills..

        Went to meet with the asst manager of home depot FINALLY yesterday afternoon.He knows me and knows i would be a good asset to the store. The original job opening for kitchen designer that I had heard was open , well the dude decided to stay on. So Bobby the A.M. told me to go back to the web site.. update my application to include plumbing,lumber, flooring ,cashier and garden center..wait for the call from Atlanta for the phone interview then when he gets the update at his store ,he will have a meeting with the store manager and PUSH to get me hired. He says the process takes close to 30 days from start to finish… DANG !!!!
        So now I am waiting to hear back from a new biz here in town to be a sign waver… I am that desperate for work !!!!
        So keep the fingers crossed…Somethings gotta happen SOON !!!!!
        Hugs and Peace

  5. Boycotting the shows, but not the blogs says:

    I still cannot figure out how Theresa has fans! Who are these people?!?!?! Her and her husband are disgusting human beings, they lie, they treat people (and their own relatives) horribly, they cheat (this bankruptcy thing makes me ill), AND they have horrible taste (just look how they decorated such a beautiful home – maybe is should be taken away from they on that merit alone).

    I also don’t understand why Caroline is so popular. I understand the family first rule and I whole heartedly agree – but actions speak louder than words. She doesn’t speak to all her siblings, and she treats her daughter like the red-headed step-child. Those actions alone prove that she’s a hypocrite that really doesn’t put family first.

    Maybe I am naive, but I watch television to be entertained with good wit and humor, not to see grow women (and men) lying and cheating and behaving badly. Aren’t there any rich housewives out there that are nice to each other and get along? It would be a nice change to see the kinder, gentler side of people for a change…

    • From what I’ve seen and read, Teresa started to garner support when Bravo, through editing and during reunions, began to encourage a gang mentality against her by the other members of the cast. I think it came more out of sympathy than anything else. For what it’s worth, I don’t think any of them have been or should be forgiven for their collective legal problems or awful behaviors.
      Bravo has very good radar when it comes to finding dysfunction. I don’t think nice people would want to be a part of these shows.

  6. Donna says:

    There was a whole lotta Bravo CC’s this week, makes me suspect. IE: Juicy saying the “r” word and his lips didn’t move, also no tv cc’s on that word.

    • Hi Donna, As donnalee said upthread, you would have thought that, whoever had been involved with Juicy would have hired Gloria Allred and sold her story to a gajillion tabloids by now. Thanks for the info on the CCs. Wouldn’t be the first time Bravo pulled that trick. I appreciate your optimism re: Juicy and Tre, as well as your well-founded suspicions regarding edits.

      • I just had a little debate with myself and realized that anyone who would become Juicy’s mistress might not want to brag about it. At least celebs like Tiger Woods are rich, successful and handsome – Juicy – hmmm, not so much.

  7. melthehound says:

    Welcome back to the dark side Empress. I’m one of those Teresa fans. Always have been and unless I see her kick Milania or one of the others in the face, always will be. I don’t give a damn about the bankruptcy, she doesn’t owe me anything including an explanation. FWIW, you are correct, Empress.. At least in my case. It’s as much root for the underdog as being a fan of hers on the show. I’ll tell you what is Really disgusting me about these past two seasons of NJ and some of the other franchises as well. I don’t tune in to see the husbands or these lazy ass ‘adult’ kids. I don’t care to see ‘tarzan’ or hear about the poison, I don’t care to see viagra’d Chicklet George dry molest Sonja either. Throw 1988 Richie with his morning wood into that mix. I also don’t care to see Teresa try and jump her hubby’s bones in a vineyard either. There are places on the internet I can go to see that sort of stuff if I want. I guess what I’m saying, is these shows have gone so far from what I first enjoyed about them, found the deepest gutter, and jumped right in. I blame the characters for their behavior, I blame Bravo for showing it, and I blame myself for watching it every week. Absolutely no innocent parties here. Most weeks these shows are better suited for radio as far as I’m concerned. I would like to see more of these trips where the people just get along and have a good time. Show me some scenery, not Teresa trying to mount her husband between the grapes.

    Exactly what she was thinking during that scene, I have no idea. It really is beyond me. I could see by the look on her face walking over during the phone call, she knows he’s cheating on her. Why she continues to put on a smile and degrade herself in that marriage is also beyond me. People think she is an idiot all around. I disagree.. she has to know she doesn’t need him beyond being a babysitter and a storyline for a TV show. She must REALLY believe in those vows because she repeated them after that trip. To Juicy Joe- Dude, there is nothing juicy, remotely funny, or endearing to a man who cheats on his wife. That, my friends, is one thing I cannot abide by or cheer for. I felt bad for my favorite NJ HW and for the first time, saw a desperate woman in her. It was sad to watch, I think I’ll go back to ‘radio’ mode with that show.

    As always Empress, thank you for the fine writeup. MTH.

    • klmh says:

      I think its wonderful MTH, that you thought Teresa thought about anything at any time.
      You get the gold star for positivity today, imho.

    • MTH – The dark side is right! I thought that the phone call was going to be the worst part of the episode, but that pitiful action by Teresa to get some kind of twisted love/attention from Juicy was heartbreaking. Hey, my wedding vows mean everything to me but it was always understood that there were two absolute deal breakers – don’t ever put hands on each other in anger and don’t cheat on one another. If you’ve found something else, say so and move on.
      Yes, we’re all complicit in what Bravo is dishing out in the name of entertainment. A guilty pleasure is one thing. This recent turn in storylines has become all guilt without any pleasure.

      • simone says:

        I really find mostly, Teresa, detestable. Very on par in her behaviors with shows like bad girls club, in her desperate attempts to get and maintain attention despite how negative it may be or the amount of soul she has to sell to get there. I have yet to meet anyone in real life that finds her character appealing. Last nights episode was the worst for me. regardless of joe cheating or not, her response to attempt to get his attention with on camera sex while he repeatedly rejected her was just pathetic. I used think some of bravo shows were entertaining, now I feel my brain cells atrophy when I tune.

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