Heather is supposed to be helping Sonja develop her brand and brought along her marketing expert for a meeting at Sonja’s house, then realized that Ramona was there. Watching how that meeting went, I understood why Sonja invited Ramona. She needed a friend, who would have her back, and not let the other two just run her over and tell her what she wanted. I understand how trying Ramona can be, but Heather and her business planner just wanted to hand over their ideas, get Sonja to take them and not be questioned. The only way Sonja could be heard was to have Ramona present, whether Heather liked it or not. The second meeting didn’t start out much better, except for Heather. Ramona wasn’t there but LuAnn was. Why, I have no idea, except to give Heather and branding-boy another, albeit totally clueless, voice. Sonja did manage to finally convince them to try it her way, despite all of the snide remarks, smirks and laughs by the other three. Heather said Sonja won. Won what? It’s going to be her business, bearing her name and she wanted some say in it. If Heather didn’t want to do it because Sonja wasn’t a paying client, then she could have just said so and left Sonja to find her own way. Sonja has been kicked around enough and it wasn’t right to make her grovel simply because she was getting a favor. If a hand is extended, but there’s some sort of price attached, then maybe the gesture is meaningless.
Even when I think LuAnn’s reached the very depth of ignorance, she manages to find a new low. She found a lot of them during this episode. She told Sonja that she wants Jacques’ baby in order to keep him. I don’t think that he’s a genius, but I’m sure that he’s spent enough time with LuAnn to know that motherhood is not one of her strong points. That’s not what he wants and that’s not going to keep him, or they would have been doing some real work on that front already. He’s having a good time, a free ride, being on television and not having to do much heavy lifting in their relationship. LuAnn has met her match with Jacques insomuch as they really don’t want to change the way things are. She can keep on being a Countess and he can keep doing whatever the hell it is he does in the wine industry.
LuAnn also took the time to explain her “American Indian” heritage. She didn’t care that Carole told her that any third grader knows that those who were here before we came along are referred to as Native Americans. LuAnn, in order to prove her expertise on the subject, made some gestures, voiced a few woo-hoos and warned about scalping the rest of the dinner guests. The only thing missing was a tomahawk chop to complete her performance. Everyone there was embarrassed for her. I was embarrassed for her. She and Jacques thought it was adorable. See. A perfect match. LuAnn did manage to escape from the table for a few moments when Mario started to call out Jacques for the wine escapade. Jacques denied that it was a set up, but that’s what makes him oh so right for LuAnn. Neither of them take responsibility for anything – not even for each other.
Then we were treated to a Christmas party hosted by LuAnn, which was sponsored by Life & Style magazine and was meant to collect coats for the homeless. Ramona took the opportunity to try to express her anger with LuAnn over the Pinot ploy. It didn’t matter if Ramona did a good job explaining why she was hurt, because it always falls on the countess’ deaf ears. LuAnn, by the way, had adorned her ears for the occasion with what appeared to be wall sconces – or maybe they were tree ornaments – setting off her antlers very nicely. A sing along was planned by our hostess, with Jingle Bells as the song of choice. A simple little nonsensical Christmas season tune, unless it’s backed up by the band LuAnn chose – obviously sight unseen or sound unheard. As soon as the ladies finished dashing through the snow, the band, sporting huge, colorful mohawks, started a chorus of obscenity laden lyrics delivered via a megaphone. You heard them. I don’t need to repeat them here. That, my friends, is what the spirit of the season and of giving is all about, all courtesy of the Countess. Carole said that she liked the group and might hire them in the future. I’m hoping that was said with her tongue firmly planted in her cheek.
I think Sonja may have been enjoying a little holiday cheer even before she arrived. While the group was seated, she began to question, loudly and a little rudely, Jacques’ intentions regarding his relationship with LuAnn. I’m sure she meant well, but it looked awful and sad. I think Sonja is sad and lonely and a little broken. I felt for her when she talked to LuAnn about her miscarriage . Ramona took care of her, though, calmed her down and got her to stop the rant. Ramona was and is a good friend.
We finally saw Harry Dubin – the man who has slept his way through half of this cast. I was expecting George Clooney, given his reputation. I saw a guy who looks just like the one who bagged my groceries at Kroger’s last week. There must be something about Harry – I missed it.
I’ll post Carole’s blog as soon as Bravo has it. She’s been tweeting from an Aerosmith concert at the Hollywood Bowl tonight. Me jealous? No, not all. Yea, right. Steven, could you please dedicate “Dude Looks Like a Lady” to LuAnn?