Sometime between last week’s episode and tonight’s, Big Daddy George went from an amusing and overly flirtatious septuagenarian to being just another inappropriate jerk with a lot of money. Any woman who has been on the planet for more than 20 years has encountered a George. They’re the guys who think that it’s cute, especially when they’ve had too much to drink, to say things to you that make you cringe, then start to touch you in ways that make you wish you could produce a restraining order – maybe even a baseball bat. They laugh while you try to squirm away from them, and don’t stop until you either find a place to hide or a bigger, stronger male friend who finally explains, in no uncertain terms, that enough is enough. Even after their threats are neutralized, you’re still left feeling like you need a long shower, hoping to wash everything about him off of you, including the ugliness of it that’s stuck in your head. I can’t understand how or why Aviva finds her father’s behavior so amusing. Maybe things look a lot funnier when there’s a trust fund riding on the jokes.
Putting him on television should be accompanied by some sort of public service address, warning unsuspecting women about the lech of South Beach. I imagine that there are more than a few of his ilk in the area. I didn’t think that Sonja had many boundaries when it came to being inappropriate, even lewd at times, but this man not only crossed those lines, he trampled them into the ground. George wasn’t satisfied with embarrassing himself, his daughter and Sonja. He offered to give Carole her first “squirting orgasm”, something that raises his freak number to about a 15 on the 1 to 10 scale. He liked Ramona’s firm tush, as well, and told her so – over and over. He did acknowledge that she might be off-limits because she’s married. So, he respects marriage – women, in general, not so much. Somehow I think that if Mario hadn’t been present, George might not have been as deferential. George even thinks his daughter has a hot body. Really. Bravo and Aviva, that man is just gross.
Getting back to Ramona for a moment, I don’t know what the hell is going on with her this season. She’s always been a little over the top, well, a lot over the top. Now she’s acting like she really is the Energizer Bunny, but not half as cute. She’s becoming the guardian of Aviva and her prosthetic leg, particularly when there is water around. I could give her a pass on her initial curiosity about the leg(s) when the two were shopping for shoes. I don’t know how to take her obsession with keeping the damn thing dry. I have a feeling that Aviva has already worked out all of the details when it comes to aquatic activities. Then again, if Aviva can’t call out her own Dad for being a horn-dog, I guess Ramona is free to say and do just about anything when it comes to the proper care of prosthetics.
Ramona and Sonja did manage to embarrass themselves, with Carole as collateral damage, when the group visited Carole’s friend, Ranjana’s spectacular penthouse. As Ranjana demonstrated how to do some facial exercises, the blonde BFFs made some silly and sexual innuendos about other types of workouts one could do with the tongue. They shared some of that with George during dinner that night – a really bad idea. I don’t think that Carole was too upset by the fact that she could only spend one night in Miami with this bunch.
Carole did meet up with LuAnn under the premise that they were shopping. What ended up happening was that Carole told LuAnn how she didn’t care for the Countess using her friends, the Khans, to borrow clothes and jewelry for some tabloid magazine photo shoot. LuAnn thought it would be good for Naeem’s clothing line to be featured in a tabloid. Hopefully it was from his HSN line – LuAnn wouldn’t know the difference. Anyway, I have to talk to Lulu right for just a minute. My dear, addle-brained Countess, the First Lady of the United States has worn the designer’s gowns to State Dinners at the White House. He doesn’t need any help promoting his line. In fact, I’m going to assume that seeing you in one of his designs on the pages of a grocery checkout line rag-mag was probably the worst moment of his career. Alright, I’m done directly addressing LuAnn now. Sorry about that. Carole tried to impress that fact on LuAnn using the same logic, but it fell on very deaf ears and a head too swollen by ego to even understand the not so subtle hint. Whether it was intended to be a slap back at Carole or not, LuAnn did manage to work in a little comment about loving her very own Jackie O-like sunglasses. It just makes you want to swat her, doesn’t it?
Heather and her hubby had some caviar and discussed foreplay and sex. That’s it, and that was enough. Oh, yeah, Sonja and Ramona broke the handle of the Dreschers’ shower while they were taking one together. They needed someplace private to discuss their sleeping arrangements, you know, whether to sleep as a trio with Mario, or to send him to a different room for the night. Mario must have been waiting nearby with towels for them. Yep, I’m lost, too. The Housewives have gone from junior high school type fights to prepubescent jokes and conversations about sex. If Bravo keeps these storylines going they way they are, they’re going to have to start airing their programs a little later at night, and maybe not on basic cable.
As always, enjoy Carole’s Blog: