Second to last AI recap friends. How much of a recap do you really want? Short and not so sweet or the full blown? Go to the bottom if you just want the reveal of the final two.

Final 3 in case you have forgotten, Joshua Ladet, Phillip Phillips, and Jessica Sanchez. It’s hometown heroes week and each contestant will go 3 times to the microphone. The first song will be a judges pick, second song will be a contestant pick, and third song is a Jimmy Iovine pick. Alternating for 3 rounds but I’m going to give you parts of each contestant all at once. Here we go.

Joshua Ladet was up first. His first song was an Etta James, I’d Rather Go Blind. What I can tell you about the first song is this. Put that Sam Cooke / Otis Redding like voice together with a Hammond Organ complete with Leslie, a cool horn section, and some backup singers, and you have pure American Idol Gold. That’s what I think anyway. I actually think this should have been his last song of the night. The Judges gave it the standing O and Jimmy said he thought he may have been laying down. 8 out of 10 from him. Joshua’s second song was Imagine. He says he heard it on the way to rehearsal and it moved him somehow. I think he should have just sung the song but he tried to put his own twist on it. It was good but it wasn’t really that great for me. Some songs, just shouldn’t be rearranged IMO and that’s one of them. His third song was a Mary J Blige No More Drama. Again, ok but not really his thing for me. He definitely tried to go to church with it though. Seems Jimmy agreed and thought even he may have messed up giving Joshua that song to sing. Said though, 100% Joshua belongs in ‘anyone’s’ final. Joshua didn’t look too pleased to hear that from Jimmy but says he always Listens to Jimmy.

During Joshua’s hometown visit, he apparently sold out the arena which has Never been sold out before. He said during the police escorts, he felt like Barack Obama. Okay, I’ll let that one slide 😉 His family is of course 100% behind him as is the town he’s from.

In case you haven’t figured it out, I’m mixing a bit of both nights here.

Jessica Sanchez. I still say, I’m over the Cute. Have been for a long time. Her first song was a Mariah Carrey, My All. She did her thing with it, I can’t take that away from her. The clown Randy though says he’s never heard it that good on TV before. I hope he meant on American Idol. Otherwise, Randy needs to clean the shit out of his ears. I think he does anyway. Stephen said he believes he’s looking at the winner. I couldn’t tell you what Jenni said because I don’t speak high pitched giggle. Her second song, she got ‘bold’ and did Aerosmith’s I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing. Apparently, Stephen Never likes it or believes it’s been done justice when someone on that show sings His songs. I seem to remember last season, he fell all over himself when Lauren Alaina did it in her audition. Whatever, Stephen. I said weeks ago that this show is contrived. They pick who they want to win at the beginning and push that contestant on the viewers as much as possible. Her third song, Jackson 5, I’ll Be There. I actually thought she did a good job with it.Jimmy says she will a million percent be in the final two. 🙄

For her hometown visit, not a private jet but a Helicopter. No one liked her when she was in school, or they ignored her, especially boys, now they are chasing her car down the street. She, like Joshua, managed to pack the venue for her hometown show. I’m sure she had fun. Her featured hometown performance was on the USS Midway with her father nearby.

Last but not least, Phillip Phillips. First song, judges pick, Beggin’ originally by The Four Seasons. I can understand why they picked this song for him, it has his type of beat to it. However, and I’ve mentioned this before, I don’t like what he does with the phrasing when he sings established songs. He isn’t a bad singer I just don’t like what he does most of the time. My opinion, don’t hate me for it. Second song, Disease by Matchbox 20. Ummmm, Hated it. The judges as well as Jimmy were a little underwhelmed by it too. In fact, Jimmy called it a snooze fest. His third song, chosen by Jimmy was Bob Seger’s We’ve Got Tonight. For some odd reason, Phillip put his guitar down and just sang the song with the backup orchestra behind him. He did a good job with the lyrics but I couldn’t stop focusing on his hand that he kept wiping on his pant leg the entire time. He was Clearly missing his guitar. Further, he didn’t screw with the phrasing. Come on, Phil, I was counting on you to phuck it up to insure Joshua made it into final two. He didn’t though. To me it looked a little like he was squeezing his own nuts to get to some of the notes in the song. He always looks like that though. Got the second Standing O from the judges while singing in the pimp spot, the last performance of the night. Jimmy said it was THE best performance of all of them, of the night.

Phillip’s hometown visit took us to the pawn shop where he worked. Remember last week I said Joshua pulled out trick number 991 while Hollie was singing her swansong, Tears. Well, folks, Phillip one upped him during his ride in the parade during his visit. Pulled the Idol trick #991. Remember what I said that does for vote count? Hold that thought. He too managed to pack his performance venue.

Before anyone gets too upset with me, yes, I do believe the contestants get emotional seeing all the support they have. They’d have to be made of stone not to.

Results night. The part of this show I hate the most. Not because someone is going home but because I think it’s a waste. We start with that ridiculous group kidbop sing. They sang some Beatles song that was so corny and forgettable in the performance, I couldn’t tell you what it was. The Ford video up next, some sort of silent movie skit and Phillip was once again absent. I don’t know why he isn’t doing these videos. If he’s that sick, maybe he shouldn’t be on the competition. Just sayin. Results time but not really. I’m cutting to the chase on all of the results and telling you that I’ve kind of spelled it out above. See, You should have just read the entire recap 😉 . We don’t find out until the end of the show what is what with these three. Next, they trot out Lisa Marie Presley. Ummmmmm, Why? I didn’t even know she was still alive because last night is the first time I’ve heard her name since she married Michael Jackson. I’ll admit though I did watch the performance. I was having Gretch Guitar lust again as most members of her band were playing them. Both a Black Falcon and a White Falcon (google them if you’re interested in knowing what they are). Next we get some more results but not really. Each of these times, the contestants are called in the order they performed. Joshua, Jessica, Phillip. At some point here, I guess Jenni is on the new Ice Age movie. Or at least her voice is. this had to be done prior to last week because Joshua, Phillip, Jessica AND Hollie were at a sound studio doing some tracks for the movie. They also had characters from the movie calling Jenni to get tickets for the final show. Now for you Adam Lambert fans, I guess his new album has dropped. He was there singing a single from it. I couldn’t tell you what the name was but I can say, that for Adam Lambert, kind of a boring performance. Just him and his band and I would have expected a little more flash from him. It wasn’t Bad, just not what I expected to see from him. Anyway, Phillip gets his feedback from the previous night. As mentioned above, first two songs a little underwhelming, last song, best of the night.

Results. Finally. Dim The Lights, Here we go! Get a new tagline, Ryan. Better yet, replace Ryan all together along with those 3 clowns at the desk. Jessica- Final 2 spot number 1. She gives her best Taylor Swift impression. Yes, I do believe she has expected this since the contrived three stooges used the save on her. I’ll say it one more time. I’m over the cute. Now remember what I said above about idol trick #991, Tears. Joshua played it too soon because the other final 2 spot goes to Phillip. I couldn’t help but notice the look on Stephen’s face. Either Jenni farted and he was trying to figure out what it was he heard or he didn’t particularly agree with that result. Hopefully the latter. Somehow I don’t get the impression Jenni agreed with it either. They take a look back at Joshua’s journey while we listen to Scotty McCreapy sing the exit song. Joshua closes the show with It’s A Man’s World, gives Jenni a hug and brings his mom up on stage with him.

Vote count… Nearly 90,000,000. Cough Cough Bullshit Cough. I guess the 10 million jump with one less contestant last week wasn’t thrilling enough, Now it’s a 20 million jump. At this rate, the winner will be chosen out of 130 million votes. How many votes were cast in the last presidential election? A little less than 130mil. While I’m ranting, Please Idol, KILL that tween line at the front of the stages. Annoying distractions is all they are. While you’re at it, get those 3 clowns out of the way as well. I’m sure these contestant’s friends and families would rather see their people than the backs of these dumbasses heads and waving hands. By the way…. What the hell ever happened to Idol Gives Back? You know, the one where proceeds of something go to some charity. That was always a good show. Couldn’t they have 86’d some of the crap, like Jenni’s shitty videos and her live performance (gag) and fit it in somewhere? I heard rumor on Wendy (I thought Teresa Gudice was going to be on the show) that Jenni may not be coming back. I hope it’s more than a rumor.

Anyway, Congrats to the final two. I don’t have a pony in this race anymore, especially with Joshua gone so who ever wins, well, I’ll leave it there. Next week kids, the show runs a day early but it will still likely be Friday before my recap goes up. By then, it’ll be old news, no one will remember the season nor will they care about it. Do I sound cynical about this program?

Peace.

MTH