American Idol – 4 become 3 and IMO

I’m parking this here kind of early because I don’t know what today holds for me.

What is the goal of this show? Is it to showcase the singing talent of the contestants or is it to showcase everything else? Is it to bullshit the public into believing that each week sets a new record for voting? Is it to highlight Randy’s clown costumes or Jennifer’s latest releases (as well as the rest of the people they dredge up)? Is it to showcase some crappy choreography that they put these contestants into? Is it to show how ridiculous these ‘stylists’ can make the contestants look? I don’t believe there are any accidents on this show and I believe it is all finely tuned to make us think that We, The Public, are choosing THE American Idol.

Now, I don’t want to take anything away from most of the contestants this season. They’re all good in their own right. They each have something to offer and many have fine tuned who THEY Are. Phillip Phillips is an example of this IMO. He projects the persona of I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks. In reality, he Has to. If everyone Hated him, he may as well stay on the little corner stage of some obscure little bar. I know that what he means is Here I Am, Take It or Leave It. At this point American Idol America has chosen to take it. For now.

Jessica Sanchez.. I’m Over the Cute. Fact is, I would never pay to see any of these people in concert so what they look like doesn’t matter to me anyway. She is a ballad singer and a damn fine one at that. Again, I don’t want to take that away from her. When I see her though, I just want to toss her a cheeseburger. When she tries to step out of that ballad box however, I think she falls Very flat into the mediocre range. She’s shown her Growl. I like a growl from the right singer on this show but it isn’t Jessica. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I Loved Haley Reinhart last year. Still do. She is a singer who can pull off that growl. Some said she went to it too much, I say she went to it just enough. Jessica just can’t convincingly give the performance that has to go along with it. It belongs to a jazzy type singer and that was Haley. It isn’t Jessica. Stick to what you know sweetie and you’ll be fine.

Joshua Ladet.. He’s my Church singer. He’s a gospel singer who with the right song, can Really deliver. Even with him though, when he tries to break away from that box, it doesn’t quite work for him. He just isn’t someone who can hold it back from what I’ve seen on the show, and get away with it. He’s well loved so I don’t think he’s in any trouble at this point. When Arsinio Hall had his late night show, he would talk about the performances his ‘posse’ would give. He would talk about the facial expressions he imagined and saw while the group would perform And, From the group. That look like you have just smelled something Real bad and can’t get away from it expression. Joshua is a singer who can pull that off. He HAS to take it to church to do so though.

Then we have Hollie Cavenagh. The girl with the crazy accent who can sing, Well. What a little cutie she is unless you happen to be a voting tweenie. This young lady has spent the entire season, sans one week I think, at the bottom. She is also the one (left) who consistently received bad critique from that panel of deadbeat clowns called judges. Their ‘critiques’ have always left me wondering if they were listening to the same thing I was. This bullshit about ’emotionally connecting’ and not Seeing it. It doesn’t matter anymore I guess. They’ve succeeded in getting rid of her.

Of course, I can’t let this esteemed panel of clowns judges escape unscathed. Please, American Idol, I Beg you. Replace these assholes. Start with that idiot Randy ‘Yo’ Jackson. Consistency is NOT his Forte. Just like the rest of us, these judges have their favorites and there’s nothing impartial and critique-like in their comments to these contestants. Jenni ‘I’ve got goosies, most beautiful woman, let me get my autotune out and torture America with another shitty song’ Lopez. Need I say more? There are very few women in this world I’ve ever wanted to slap but She is one of them. Does anyone here think that babydoll nightie looking dress she was wearing looks cute on a 40+ year old woman? I sure as hell didn’t think so and I’m perpetually a dirty old man (going to be one til I’m a Dead old man too). That leaves us with Stephen ‘I’ve pickled my brain’ Tyler. He’s off in his own world and as the front man of his band, I think he’s still great. However, as a judge on this show, Again, replace him, Please.

The Results show. It started with the group song. California Dreaming on a Red Carpet with the front row mosh pit of tweenies manning the ropes simulating the crowd at a big event. Could these kidbop group songs suck any more? I doubt it. I keep expecting the Brady Bunch to come out in their jumpsuits as backup singers. If you enjoyed it, friends, we’ll just say different strokes and leave it at that. The Ford video is a behind the scenes look at how they make the videos and then they show the video. Phillip Phillips was absent from this video. They didn’t mention it nor did they address why. Then it’s time for results. The only reason Ryan Seacrest has his job on this show. He’s the king of the fake out when it comes to these ‘results’. So Dim the lights, here we go. He calls up each one, and tells them they’ll get their results later in the show. For now, Jimmy Iovine has a few words, his weekly critique. What they all boiled down to is each contestant did great on one song, kind of sucked on the other. Maybe not Sucked but could have done better or picked a better song. By the way, the theme this week was California songs and The Song you wish you had written which gave them free rein on the second song choice. Next they wheel out David Cook to sing his new single. Honestly I couldn’t tell you what it was. I didn’t like him on his season, I don’t like him now. I was more interested in looking at the guitars his band was playing than anything he was doing. One of them had a killer Gretsch Penguin that I’ve been lusting after for years. Hey, we see different things when looking at the same thing. David and his performance, I’m sure, will be more of different strokes. Anyway, More results, Ryan calls up the other two, Jimmy gives his critique while they are setting up the Autotune for what comes next, and Ryan sends the contestants back to the couch. Same critique by the way. One could have been better, the other song was great. Moving on… Now the star attraction for the night. Jenni from the block and her stage full of half nekid dancers. Put some clothes on the dancers Jenni, and go back to the block. Please. Results time. Ryan calls all 4 to center stage, Dim the lights, Here we go. Jessica, Safe. Joshua, Safe. That leaves Phillip and Hollie. If you’ve read through my entire rant, you know what happens next. Hollie is out. The other three get to do the hometown hero tour so tune in next week to see it all in living HD color.

Vote count. 70,000,000.. cough cough Bullshit cough cough. What’s the matter AI producers? The 2mil jump each week, with one less contestant, wasn’t enough for you ? Not exciting enough? Gotta make it 10 Million? Please. The turnip truck I fell off of disappeared into the horizon many years ago. It didn’t Just happen.

Two more weeks of this mess and it’ll be over for another 7 months until they start showing us the results of their preplanned hand picked Hollywood contenders audition tour. I’m not surprised by the current results but I no longer have a pony in this race. Therefore, I no longer care who wins. My Bet however is Joshua Ladet. He’s beginning to pull out the AI tricks from the handbook at the right time. Shedding tears on the show as Hollie sang her swansong and the production manager gave him his camera time at that point. Idol trick #991 and it works every time to boost their vote count. Most usually play it too soon though. Scotty McCreepy did it last year while touring storm damage in his hometown. At that point, I knew he had the win in the bag. For Joshua, Just like his first Idol trick, #293, ‘almost didn’t get on the plane’ cough cough Bullshit cough cough.

Til next week friends,


About MelTheHound

Fuck Cancer
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12 Responses to American Idol – 4 become 3 and IMO

  1. LavaLady says:

    Hi Mel: Great recap. I noticed Phil was not in the Ford video last week as well. I think it may have something to do with his illness in the beginning of the season. I think he may need more down time than the others.

    The outfit Jenni wore during her song and dance was horrid. Just horrid. Whoever does the styling for this show need to go back to styling 101.

    I think you’re right. I think Joshua is going to win it. My favorite is still Phil, but I don’t think he wants it enough. Jessica, once again, choose songs much too mature for her. She’s only 16 but acts like she’s 40. IDK, she annoys me at times. Do you think she may be too confident. She almost went home, so I’m not sure about that, but it is a feeling I get about her.

    Alway look forward to your thoughts on. I usually watch alone, so it is nice to get other’s perspectives on the show.

    • melthehound says:

      Jessica has annoyed me since she was ‘saved’ by the clowns. Each week, her Taylor Swift “Who Me? Oh, They Really Like Me!” facial expression gets more and more annoying. I hate to talk crap about a 16yo girl but yes, I think her head is a bit swollen. Always glad to have you comment LL. 🙂

  2. Pickles says:

    MTH Again thanks for recaps. I don’t feel motivated to watch this season but I probably will next time so I can commiserate with you.
    Do you like the new group of judges?

    • melthehound says:

      You’re welcome, Pickles 🙂 I’ll probably say that I won’t watch anymore unless they 86 these judges but I know that’s a lie. If the show makes it to a season 12, I’ll be watching. No, I don’t like the new judges. Not anymore. They were fun the first time around but they’ve lost me. I haven’t liked the Old judge, Randy, in years.

    • dsc60 says:

      Piers Morgan isn’t a judge anymore on AGT. Howard Stern replaces Howie Mondell from last year who replaced Piers. I don’t watch AGT consistently, but I love Howard so it may be on my must see tv list this year.

    • melthehound says:

      I think Simon’s perspective was always one of marketing the talent. That is, if people aren’t going to buy the record and fill the concert venues, there’s no point in them continuing on. Yes he was harsh on some of them but I always thought he was fair and across the board as well. That, is now missing from the show. IMO.

  3. Vegas Chick says:

    Oooh… that was really harsh. Say what you want about the show, the production, the judges (who are going to be replaced, btw), but take it easy on the contestants especially a 16 year old girl. They are just kids who have done an exceptional job each and every week under the pressure and pace of the competition. Joshua has been my favorite from the beginning (along with Elise), and I’d love to see him take it. However, I wouldn’t be disappointed if any of them wins. Hope your day gets better from here, MtH. 🙂

    • melthehound says:

      You thought I was harsh on the Contestants, VC? I’ll have to go back and read what I wrote. No, I guess I don’t see it. I’m harsh on the clowns and what I believe to be the contrived nature of the show but I believe I did play up the positives about the contestants. Just also stating they aren’t perfect is all in some cases.

      • Vegas Chick says:

        Guess, I’m running a little on the sensitive side today. Most shows are all BS… guess that’s why we watch ’em. 🙂

  4. dsc60 says:

    Thanks for your critique MTH. I still like Jessica. I like Joshua too. I don’t know, if Jessica didn’t show surprise at the judge’s commentary, people would say she’s too cocky. I don’t think anyone can be too confident on AI. I don’t get the appeal of Philip but he did a great job with the one song he sang on Wens. (don’t remember what it was though… lol). I tuned in late last night and I wish I tuned in just a bit later as I turned it on just in time to see JLo perform. I agree that her outfit was horrible. A sequined leotard and sparkly tights? WTH? I don’t care for her as a singer. Still love my Steven Tyler. Aerosmith is one of my all time favorites and I just can’t not like him no matter what. I knew Simon would be difficult to replace… I wouldn’t want someone to be mean just for the sake of being mean and sometimes I felt like Simon was unnecessarily mean. But i did like the show with Simon even if he made it uncomfortable to watch at times. There is a bit too much fluff now… I will say that. It is what it is. K… I’m rambling. One more thing… I’m with you Mel… my fav was Elise too. Now whoever win, wins. It doesn’t much matter to me.

    • melthehound says:

      I think a simple Thank You would do wonders from the contestants. I would come across as appreciative and Non Cocky. I would enjoy these Contest shows more if they were focused strictly on the contestants. As I’ve said above, I don’t want to take anything away from them. They’re All better than I am and have a lot more nerve than I ever did to go after that dream. Nothing I can say will take that from them.

      If this show is Truly, each year, to find THE American Idol out of the crowd of thousands, One person, One vote, and leave the judges opinions out of it at the live show point of the game. Their jobs are done. Lose the Judges Save too. It’s all just too contrived to me But, I’ll still watch 😉

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