Celebrity Apprentice – Chi Chi Red

Welcome back folks. Celebrity Apprentice. 5 become – ? ..

The show starts after Dayana was fired last week and Lisa waddles back into the relax room where the winner watches from. She walks in alone and tells the others that Both Clay and Dayana were fired. It’s a ruse of course.

The clients this week were Chi products coupled with Elle Magazine. They have a new touch screen hair dryer that is both quiet and works in half the time as other hair dryers. I guess, I would never know, my hair is dry before I step out of the shower. The task was to come up with a 4 page spread for Elle Magazine to sell the drier. The prize is $50k which Faruk (sp?) says he will match making it $100k to the winning PM’s charity. The PMs are Jabba the Hut aka Lisa L, and Teresa. They will be judged on the usual criteria.

In the war rooms, they get to deciding on a concept and they have photos of models to choose from. In looking at the models and the product, Jabba and Clay come up with the concept of using ‘plain’ looking women, not typically Elle girls which, both of them recognize that they know nothing about. Lisa isn’t into that sort of thing and Clay may be the only gay man in New York who knows nothing about fashion. Lisa’s idea is basically to show the beautiful models in a way that what you see on the outside isn’t what’s beneath the surface, sort of the way they see the hair dryer. There’s more to it than meets the eye.The execs had paid a visit and it was made clear to the team that the Elle type photos were important. That is, the ad must be something they would print.

Across the wall, Teresa’s team (Aubrey) comes up with the idea of playing on the word Chi. In  zen-like way. Show photos with very little or no copy, the models using the dryer. I guess the message is, the user is at peace using the Chi Touch Screen Dryer. Arsinio during most of this task, is shown basically ‘listening’ I’ll say. The execs walk in to explain the product and right away, Faruk (who Teresa called Farik, woops) is enamored by the she devils hair. He asks if it’s a Chi color, she says it’s all natural (bullshit). Naturally straight out of the box maybe. Arsinio notices Faruk’s boots and notes they are exactly the same fire engine red as his product line and has the name Chi on the toes of the boots. Arsinio thinks that is just pimpin (I forget the word he actually used). Anyway, it’s time to choose the models from a group of photos and they decide they want this redhead.

Lisa and Clay don’t care what models they get, they’re going for a head with hair and that’s it. Negotiation time. The two PMs come out of the war rooms into the hallways and right away, Teresa opens up with she wants the redhead. Lisa senses weakness in this and begins to badger Teresa telling her which models she has to take if she wants the redhead. In the end, Teresa gets the redhead but agrees also to take two men, one of which she wanted and one with not much more hair than I have (that ain’t much folks). There was going back into the room to get advice. I think Teresa should have sent Arsinio to do this. No way would Jabba have played him the way she did Teresa. I love Teresa on TV but in this case, she was a deer in the headlights. She’ll never admit she was played, but she was.

Time to start putting it all together. They each go to their respective studios for the photo shoots and begin to prepare the models. Aubrey, who isn’t happy with the models that Teresa agreed to, except the redhead, pulls in some favors from her outside sources. I guess they didn’t Have to use THESE models. They get to the studios and Lisa grabs one of the models and goes to Lord and Taylor to get the wardrobe. She can’t do it herself because she can never find clothes in these places to fit her. I kind of know what that’s like but I think that was code for Lisa has no taste in fashion, and she knew it. Clay is left behind to get the models ready and set up for the photoshoots. Something he knows nothing about. This is where they probably could have used Dayana.

Unanimous gets to Their studio and the models show up. Arsinio is a photographer himself so he relishes in doing the product shots (after the photographer set everything up for him). At some point in all of this, Aubrey ‘offers’ to be one of the models. After all, she’s Been in Elle Magazine, as worse dressed. She wants to show Elle that she has what it takes. As they are doing Aubrey’s hair, the Redhead model walks in. Teresa tells her she’s not needed and besides, her hair is now Blonde or strawberry blonde, not what they wanted. Alice, the model, pronounced Aleeece, gets all snippy and says next time, Call me. Honey, Number one, you were late. Number two, you changed your hair from your photo. Number three, you probably got paid for going to begin with so quitcher bitchin. Besides, you’re name is spelled Alice. I didn’t hear any accent on you so there’s no reason for the pretentious ‘model’ name. After Aubrey’s hair is done (and it looks hideous), she’s in the sitting in the chair while they pick wardrobe for her, Toppless with her girls hanging out. Teresa wonders in her TH if the girl has any modesty at all. The answer to that my dear sweet Teresa, is no. They decide on some black number that has a disconnect at the bust line so to Me, it looked like she was wearing a shower curtain below the line and a too small bikini top for her girls. During the photoshoot, Teresa asks to photographer to get some angles where the hair dryer is covering all the bare cleavage up. Personally, I think that was a wise choice.

Over at Forte, Lisa who had been shopping and was in heaven buying all this size zero stuff that her ankle wouldn’t even fit in, finally returns. Clay had already begun with product shots with the photographer. Lisa sits down to eat lunch and doesn’t appear to be doing very much. Clay is directing the photoshoot, not doing a half bad job of it for someone with no experience.

During all of this, Eric walks into the Unanimous studio room and Don walks into Forte’s room. The concepts are explained to each and both seem a little confused by them. Don notes that Lisa has a good idea but trying to do Abstract in a print ad, is a hard sell. The more beneath the surface thing. Eric seems a bit confused by the no copy part of Aubrey’s idea, leaves it as whatever.

Presentation time… BTW, All through these tasks, the she devil in her talking heads is slapping herself on the back, as usual. Unanimous walks into the presentation room and they give their pitch. Teresa is first, seems unrehearsed, and is stumbling over the words. Typical, Aubrey and Arsinio do better. I think Teresa has to process things before she speaks. I think there is a double translation going on between her brain and her mouth. Especially when she’s trying to sound professional. From reading English, translating to Italian so her brain can understand it, and back to English so everyone else can understand it. She may also be a little dyslexic. No proof of any of that, it’s just a theory of mine.Anyway, for an ad campaign, and a print one at that, they probably should have put their shpeel on the photos somewhere.

Forte is up next, they basically let their brochure do the talking and just explain what their concept was. There wasn’t really a lot to their presentation.

The execs liked Arsinio and Aubrey, Loved the photos but Faruk was disappointed that there was really nothing to describe the hair dryer in the photos. They were also unimpressed with Teresa’s presentation but gave her some slack on being nervous. For Forte, they didn’t really like the photos. The Elle exec said the photos didn’t depict ‘Elle Girls’. Both the girls themselves and the way they were dressed. I don’t read those magazines so I couldn’t tell you one way or the other. What they Did like was informational part of the ad brochure and their concept was pretty clear to them, especially since they spelled it out.

Board Room time (#1). The big focus aside from the ads was who should be fired if one team or the other lost. Lisa and Clay have no choice but to say each other. Teresa thinks that Arsinio didn’t contribute a lot (and I agree), he should go. He of course is defensive about that. The winner of the $100k IS, Lisa. Ruh Roh…. So Lisa and Clay are safe for another day (or so they think). So, Teresa is on the chopping block. Jacqueline L from RHONJ had said that Teresa made final 4. I don’t know where she got that info from but let’s see if she was correct. This particular firing session was probably the quietest I’ve ever heard the she devil. Arsinio and Teresa are going back and fourth about Arsinio’s contribution. He says he was the photographer and that’s something that Teresa wouldn’t know anything about. Teresa counters with she has fashion experience, IS a photographer (because she likes to take photos of her kids) and Arsinio counters with ‘What is an F stop?’

*side note here, if anyone is interested in that type of post, I’ll do one explaining the basics of photo exposure.*

Truth of the matter, for most cameras these days, it isn’t important for Teresa to know what it is. With auto exposure, to most casual shooters, it just doesn’t matter until you want to start getting creative. She didn’t answer the question so I don’t know if she knew or not. I would about bet the ranch though, that on the photos Arsinio Did take (of the dryer), he didn’t set the exposure on the camera. Teresa keeps trying to defer to Aubrey on the questions being asked, Arsinio won’t let it happen though. In the end, Teresa is fired, most likely because she was PM on the losing task but also because she can’t translate her thoughts quick enough to turn them into spoken words. It was fun for me to watch her on the show.She was dignified in her exit, didn’t seem to harbor any real resentment towards Arsinio. Not in front of the cameras anyway. Good for her.

Arsinio tries to pull the same ruse Lisa did when he goes back to the room. It doesn’t work. The 4 of them are sitting around slapping each other on the back for making final 4. I good accomplishment regardless of what we/I may think of them. Trump calls them back into the board room. He congratulates them on still being there and tells them they are about to be interviewed by John Rich and Marlee Matlin, last years’ winner and runner up. Remember, these two between them raised over 2 million dollars. After Trump speaks with his last years’ star players, he will fire not one, but Two of the remaining players.

Just touching on some of the highlights of these interviews, John Rich was probably the most brutal of the pair. Marlee was no pushover. I think the women thought they were going to push her around but that failed miserably. I don’t know if that’s the case or not, but it’s the impression I got watching them. What comes out of it is, Clay is playing it safe, Arsinio is a wildcard, Lisa is too emotional and Aubrey is a little uncertain. I think they heard the too well rehearsed in her answers. ALL of them at one point admitted to holding back for their final run but we didn’t hear them mention to Trump, that fact.

Back in the board room. Trump asks how each thought it went, most are comfortable with it. Trump tells them what was said and they all agree with the positives, none agree with the negatives. The one Trump starts grilling First, is Jabba The Hut aka Lisa. Cutting to the chase, She’s Fired. YIPEEEEEEEEEEE! Ding Dong, The Witch Is Gone, Ding Dong! She thanks Trump and politely exits. Now Trump drops the bomb and tells the remaining 3, that one of them is also going home. Tells them or reminds them. I really don’t remember which at this point.

Guess what happens Next friends…?…. To Be Continued. We have to wait until next week to see who else is gone and then I guess we get to the final task, which I’m certain, this is going to drag on for two more weeks.

Til next time,


About MelTheHound

Fuck Cancer
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8 Responses to Celebrity Apprentice – Chi Chi Red

  1. Pickles says:

    MTH, Great write up. I haven’t been watching this season. Do you think this group measures up to prior season’s celebrities as far as smarts and fund raising?

    “After Aubrey’s hair is done (and it looks hideous)…” ROTFL – I flashed on the Jake from State Farm commercials.

    • melthehound says:

      Thank you Pickles. I think this group was a little too smart for their own good. I noted that during the interviews, it came out that all of them basically had held back. Waiting for some big fundraising drive push at the end I would assume. The She Devil, for all of her Me and I bravado, only in fact Won 2 or 3 tasks with her ‘ideas’. We’ll have to see how the final two do in the finale but no, I don’t think they’ve been as smart as some of the others in seasons past.

  2. Hey, mth,
    Teresa really did fall down on this one, but her Team mate, Aubrey, wasn’t the most loyal member of the group. When she wasn’t flashing her bosom to the world and getting her hair done, she was enjoying watching Jabba crush Tre like a bug.
    I have to go write a couple of checks for Marlee Martin’s and John Rich’s charities – as thank you gifts. 🙂

    • melthehound says:

      We all know that Aubrey is about Aubrey. She’s wonder woman after all and can do no wrong. Just ask her. Teresa didn’t do very well, that’s true. I was thinking while watching RHONJ though, When was this Filmed wrt to what has been going on for Teresa on her Other show. Even if she didn’t do Great on CA, I have to hand it to Teresa. She’s still standing with a public smile after the past year she’s had. I’m just glad Jabba is Gone. I’ll never watch another Comedy Central Roast again. I hope the she devil is next and I hope Trump takes pleasure in firing her 😀 If Teresa ever comes to this area though, I’ll be in line for her book and a picture, Bet that 😉

  3. klmh says:

    Thanks MTH. I don’t watch this but enjoyed the read. Jabba, I loved it…

  4. melthehound says:

    That’s just it PG, I don’t think Teresa is that dumb or stupid. She can’t articulate herself very well when Speaking but that doesn’t necessarily mean low intelligence. Be it my theory or something else something happens between her brain and her mouth. Of course, there is the possibility that you’re correct, and I’m not. I’ll leave you with this on that subject.. If We ever met in person, I probably wouldn’t have 10 words to say to anyone. You all, would be doing all the talking,

    WRT the She Devil. I don’t think she is going to make it into the final 2. I think come next week, she is going to try and extol her own contributions to the tasks and Trump is going to count off how many times, those contributions did not result in a win. I do think Clay will be in the final two but Arsinio will be the other one. At this point, the game is anyone’s to lose.

  5. cusi77 says:

    Good evening! Great Blog as usual Jeff!

    “From reading English, translating to Italian so her brain can understand it, and back to English so everyone else can understand it. She may also be a little dyslexic. No proof of any of that, it’s just a theory of mine”

    Interesting theory… in my experience speaking and writing 3 languages it goes this way:
    I just think in one language! The one I am speaking or writing. My mother language is Spanish and when I was learning the second language I discovered that trying to translate was a mistake, the brain goes direct to the language I am speaking, there is no translation, otherwise I will be stepping all the way and even worse than Teresa does! I tend to think that there is probably a dyslexia but again I am not a neurologist. I do understand and speak a tiny bit Italian and Teresa is not fluent like his brother is when speaking Italian. JMHO.

    Thanks for the good read! I wish Arsenio and Clay go to the final!

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