I don’t know where or how Bravo finds the houses and their respective owners for Jeff Lewis and his team to remodel on this show, but they have certainly picked some winners. Each one of them has needed the Lewis touch, and he has pleasantly surprised me with, not only his amazing skills as a designer, but the deft and wit with which he deals with the family of the week. I can only assume that it takes someone like Jeff, with all of his own personal dysfunction, to take on these very interesting people. He has demonstrated, time and again, that he is compassionate, caring and keenly ironic, all at the same time.
In the past couple of weeks, Lewis and company have moved in with and remodeled the homes of families and couples who are obviously in crisis. We’ve seen a married couple who were trying to make the husband’s house become their home, by trying to inject some of the wife’s personal style and personality. She was in distress over the fact that she didn’t feel she was at home because her husband, who had owned the home long before they were married, refused to give up the ambiance of his bachelor pad.
On another occasion, Jeff, Jenny and Zoila came to the rescue of an engaged couple who had invited her widowed mother to live with them. The mom had tried to remake their home into a place where she could live with her memories, leaving all of them feeling both cramped and resentful. This week, we met Adam and Yvonne, long time friends who were exploring the idea of becoming a couple and, perhaps, living together. Well, that was what Yvonne envisioned. Adam was more than a little bit wary of the relationship and was fighting the notion of her moving in with every fiber of his body.
Eclectic doesn’t even describe what Adam considered his design style. I don’t know much about interior decorating or design, but I’m fairly certain that there isn’t a book out there which includes a chapter on male genitalia. You see, Adam likes to collect and display penises. He has them everywhere, like artwork on the wall which lights up and flashes silhouettes of penises. He also has a curio cabinet chock full of carvings and sculptures of the male member. He just can’t understand how Yvonne, not to mention Jeff and Jenni, don’t appreciate his tastes. He considers himself quirky, everyone else believes he has escaped from the asylum.
Adam’s house was full of oddities, like a robot/clown, that stood about four feet tall, resided in the master bedroom and would come to life when anyone moved, something that kept Jeff and Jenni awake most of one night. Adam and his eccentricities didn’t stop there. He had a stuffed fox on his coffee table, which, thankfully, was sold to one of the movers for $50. This strange and pompous man told Jeff that he hadn’t bought a television for the living room because there were new and better ones coming out every three months, and he was afraid that whatever he purchased would be considered a technological relic before he even got it home. He did, however, have two televisions in the bedroom because that’s where the couple did most of their entertaining.
To say that he was disrespectful to Yvonne would be an understatement. His comments and sarcasm towards her made you wonder what she really saw in him in the first place. He asked her, at one point, that if he agreed to the makeover, would she stop bitching. It didn’t end there. When the couple, together with Jeff and Jenni, went furniture shopping, Adam made it clear to everyone within earshot that he was in no way interested in anything Yvonne was, and declared, loudly and proudly, that this was his house, after all.
What Adam didn’t realize though, was that not only had he met his match with Jeff Lewis, but was actually a very distant second to the master of the put down. Jeff saw right through him and harped at him at every opportunity, about just how selfish and unfeeling Adam was. This nasty bow-tie wearing little man thought that he knew everything, until Jeff and company proved him wrong.
The remodel went well, despite Adam’s attempts to micromanage every inch of the work. Jeff found a new home for roboclown, bought a television for the living room, ripped up tons of tile, replacing it with laminate, and actually turned the disaster into a beautiful and livable space. Adam was pleasantly surprised and pleased with the finished product, as was Yvonne. She, however, was presented with another, not quite so pleasant surprise, delivered by her friend. While Yvonne dropped some not so subtle hints about moving in with Adam, he decided that he wasn’t ready to go quite that far. He announced, once again, that this was home, new and improved, but decidedly not Yvonne-ready.
Watching this exchange, Jeff asked Yvonne if she would like a ride home. She should have taken him up on his offer right then and there. Adam made it quite clear, to all of us, that he was the
king gnome of his castle, and there would be no permanent female residents allowed. Jeff may have redone the house, but that relationship is beyond repair. I’m giving it about two weeks before the house is given it’s finishing touches and that those penises are lovingly scattered all around the place.