FauxAlity Wednesday – Can they?

Hello, Friends, Hope you are all doing well. I actually managed to avoid the television being on 24 hours a day in the last week. Except of course, my normal shows. You know, American Idol, The Amazing Race (still a little disappointed Kentucky got eliminated), Survivor (How the hell did Tarzan make it as being the only man left?), Celebrity Apprentice (Could that she devil be any more of a flaming witch?), and of course RHONJ (you all know I’m a huge Teresa fan). I managed to catch American Chopper as well as this weeks episode of Hardcore Pawn.

Over at the pawn shop, Ashley gets called a bitch, again, by some low life demanding wanting $800 to bail her criminal boyfriend boo out of jail. He’s there because of some ‘hood stuff’. The trash continues to flap her lips about how disrespectful everyone is. Where is she saying it? In the parking lot. There are a couple more transactions like that on the show as well. Les buys a pinball machine from the 1960s and when they go to put it in the back, no room for it. Baby Seth gets called back to see the mess and suggests that they don’t buy any more junk. So now he’s scrutinizing everybody’s purchases. One of the managers buys a pole dance booth from some college kids for $20 and Seth is seething about it. Last transaction of the day, Ashley buys a roulette wheel from a guy. Offers $5 on a gamble if the ball lands Black, $30 if it lands Red. Naturally it lands Red so she gives him $30 for it. Seth explodes on his sister and she’s had enough. Says she shouldn’t have to take that from her own brother, they tell each other to eff off, and she walks warning the camera guys NOT to follow her out. She’s quit, again. We’ll see if she comes back. I’m sure Baby Seth is glad she’s gone.

American Chopper.. Not really FauxAlity, it’s one of the few shows I believe most of what we see IS real. Particularly this now 3 year old feud between Jr and Sr. Last week, the two met for the first time since they had a build off with Jesse James (Jr won, but I thought Jesse’s bike was much better looking, as a motorcycle). They met at Jr’s house without the cameras and I guess they agreed to be cordial and businesslike with each other and see where it goes. Jr did a presentation to a customer at his shop and the crew noted that it was a nice sunny April day. That leaves me with the impression that unlike other shows, these are being filmed and put together almost in real time. Maybe a couple weeks lag time but not much more. The big news of the episode is Mikey says he’s done with the show. We haven’t seen much of him in the last couple weeks and this may be why. He says if he’s ever going to make peace with his father, it can’t be with the show in the way. Meaning, the show can’t be part of the equation. He didn’t make a definite announcement to that affect but eluded to that is the way he is leaning. We’ll see what happens in the couple weeks to come.

None of that has to do with the question in my title though. The question “Can They?” relates to the Real Housewives of (fill in the franchise). The question should actually be, What Makes Them Think They Can? The ‘Can’ is Can They Sing? For most of them, the answer is no. Every franchise that I’ve watched has at least one HW, who has put out a ‘single’. Countless, Sonja (I think), Danielle, Melissa Gorga, KimZB, (I remember reading that Simon did one too) and now, the lovely Gretchen. I guess she didn’t record a single but her humiliation was Live and recorded by Bravo’s cameras for all of posterity.

Most of them, I suspect even Gretchen, likely do this just for the fun of it. For instance, I don’t think Countless believes for one second she could ever actually be a recording artist. She’s a pain in the ass uppity creature but she isn’t a complete idiot. I don’t even think Danielle is that delusional. KimZB did Tardy for the Party and for some reason it became a club hit but just like the rest, were it not for autotune, these women sound like someone has stepped on a cat’s tail and stood there while the cat screams. With the possible exception of Melissa Gorga. I love to take digs at this woman because she is the Anti Teresa on the show but I can’t deny that at least she can somewhat carry a tune. With some proper coaching there’s probably chance for improvement but I still don’t think she’ll ever be a recording artist.

That brings us to the lovely Gretchen. For weeks now, Bravo has teased this performance with the Pussycat Dolls in Las Vegas. Now, First of all, I didn’t know that group had been through so many incarnations and there may actually be more than one. Frankly, I never paid any attention to them but I guess the creator of the group was there so this is the real deal PCD. I haven’t watched the show to be all caught up but after hearing and seeing this performance teased so much, I decided to give up the hour on the DVR to check it out. The song she did was Fever. She’s had a vocal coach training her (or give her a lesson) so she should have been able to pull Something off. However, let me just say that after subjecting him to that caterwauling, The Hound has told me to grow eyes in the back of my head and sleep with one eye open. It was a burlesque show so I guess she was dressed the part, shook her rump about a little bit and then it began. I’ve seen some of you ladies, particularly those from the south say ‘Bless Her Heart’ when you don’t want to say anything mean but still express disapproval. Well, Bless her heart. I think though she’s one who just did it for the fun of it.

So the answer to the Can They, is a solid no. The question of (Who or) What makes them think they Can, leaves me scratching my head. In the case of Gretchen, I think it’s the same person who told Slade, he could be a comic (I never did see that full routine).

See you next week friends.



About MelTheHound

Fuck Cancer
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16 Responses to FauxAlity Wednesday – Can they?

  1. baronessbeachcomber says:

    Yes, Simon did.

    • baronessbeachcomber says:

      Sorry, I copied so it would post the link. Don’t know what happened. Now you’re gonna have that to look at. So, so sorry!

      • baronessbeachcomber says:

        Empress, you can delete this post. I would not blame you in the least. Lol!

        • Sorry, bb, but I just can’t! It gave me one of the best laughs of the day. 😀
          I may give him my own “jackhole” award.

          • disgrazia4 says:

            I’m glad you didn’t delete, I actually like this song. The lyrics may well have the answer to MTH’s question.

      • melthehound says:

        That’s a bit of a sight we’ll just say. All videos post that way here. I follow the exact same procedure as I do at Lynns, and it always embeds the video rather than just a link.

  2. Lisa Renee says:

    Another great read. What I know about AC is watching some (I enjoy this type of “reality”, minimal viewer manipulation) tabloids & my husband. He loves this show, he was very close with his Dad. When their conflict became tabloid fodder I asked DH what his take on it was. His reply left me with…that there is no one right & no one wrong mixed with alot of hurt feelings. I hope they make peace, Father/Son dynamic & working together can be a blessing or a curse. My DH & FIL ran a charter boat together & it was a beautiful thing to see. I am pulling for them. Interesting question. Can They? I have witnessed levels of delusion from these HW&HH’s that convince me there is proof of a God. Put the vatican on stand by for a miracle another housewife is putting out a “song” & they think it will be huuuuuge. Shree’s $$ from her song were to go to charity. Last I checked World Hunger is still a problem. Only God can work that level of delusion, no? Agree, MeGo can carry a tune. Here comes the delusion you need to lament outloud that your first performance is not at Madison Square Garden with tigers. To me it’s like when you see the HW’s on the reunion couch & you feel the need to tell them their mirror flat out lied to them when it said you look good & where do I get a mirror that will lie to me like that. I agree Gretchen takes herself the less seriously than some & her timing on her voice issues was semi brilliant, BS, but a great go to excuse. She can tell all potential singing gigs for the rest of her life, you did not hear me at my best, listen to this studio CD, this is the real me. Not singing on WWHL told me she has enough self awareness to know that was not her best forum for her limited talents. Some of the other ladies would just belt something out believing they are Whitney singing the national anthem. LuAnn did that duet with Natalie F’in Cole believing she was worthy of sharing a stage with her or she would have sat down so we could all enjoy such an amazing gift. Like you, I will continue to scratch my head while I wait for my DD to start belting out the next “on display”, you know there will be more 🙂 Lisa

    • melthehound says:

      Even with Natalie Cole, it’s still just novelty. If Countless believes otherwise then she’s more delusional than I gave her credit for. 🙂

  3. klmh says:

    I applaud your ability to watch Hardcore Porn. The owners are the filthiest nastiest people on television imo, and I feel the need to take a bath when I watch them, in minute spurts, because I can’t stand the hatefulness in that family. Ugh… I do enjoy some of the weirdos that come into the shop though. Some funny stuff.
    Thanks for the post.

    • Adgirl says:

      You meant Hardcore Pawn … right? 🙂

      • Addy, You have a problem with Hardcore Porn? Pray tell, klmh, where might I find this on my television listings – you know, for research purposes?

    • melthehound says:

      I can watch that too and there are plenty of weirdos at times. However, I won’t be reviewing it here 😉

  4. mth, Your HWs “singing” critique was hysterical. I love that all of them discover their passion and talent well into their 30’s or even 40’s. I always thought that you either had it or you didn’t, and that you knew about your own particular talent (and passion) early on in life. But this doesn’t seem to stop any of them from continuing their nonsensical new careers – that isn’t reserved only for the “singers”, but extends to those who also fancy themselves writers, girdle merchants, wine experts, well, you get the idea. Thanks for a great post. 🙂

    • melthehound says:

      Ha! We could write full books about what they Think they can do. Have to hand it to them for trying though. I agree, very few find out they can ‘sing’ very late in life and decide to become pop stars.

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