Here we are again friends. Back on the way to The Don’s board room. First though, we must complete some sort of task. The show starts with that pig Aubrey slapping herself on the back for her mediocre win and claiming that SHE is the reason that every one who has won, Has won. I guess she’s right. When the men were kicking the women’s asses, it was typically her ‘creative’ that lost it for the women. Kiss your own ass once again Aubrey. Besides Jabba The Hut (aka Lisa L), you’re the only one who is going to do it. Aubrey delivers the money to her charity and for that, I’ll give her her props. Clay is shown in his TH that he’s sad that Penn, a strong player, is gone. At the same time, He’s Glad that Penn, a strong player is gone.
The teams are tasked to write and perform a 90 second jingle for Good Sam’s Roadside service . Arsinio is PM for Unanimous and Dayana is PM for Forte. Winner gets a total of $20k, matched with $25k from the execs AND, 100% of sales proceeds of the mascot figurine. So in reality, this is a fund raiser but the board room amount will be $45k total. The teams split up and Dayana goes to Clay for the singing and Writing of the jingle. Over at Unanimous, Aubrey of course can’t keep her mouth shut and she comes up with some sort of cheer leading thing. Gag me now. Arsinio isn’t feeling it. Aubrey suggests Arsinio Tap Dance. Got that? He, a Black man, Is NOT going to Tap Dance. Aubrey, You are playing for anti bullying. Cut The Shit and shut your mouth. Arsinio notes that when she’s slapped for her ‘Bullying’, she shuts down. Get ready folks, This is Arsinio vs Aubrey, Part II. For real. Last week was just a precursor. Remember, SHE did all the work, those other two useless people, Arsinio and Teresa, did nothing and may as well have not even been there. SHE did it all herself. Have I Mentioned, how much I Hate this so and so of a B? They are now at the recording studio and Teresa in her TH states, this is going to be a long day (I think she’s right). The exec comes in and Aubrey asks if they can get creative. The execs say yes but Be Careful, Mom, Grandma, and Daughter are going to be watching. In other words, keep it clean. The exec is pushing the mascot in the bit. Aubrey states in her TH that she pushes on to the exec to get her team to see how great her ideas are.
Over at Forte, Clay is suggesting a Teen Angel type angle. He and Lisa tend to settle on 1950s 1960s scheme, Dayana in her TH objects to being told what’s going to be even though she is PM. Well then, Dayana, Assert yourself. The exec comes in, Clay asks, How Safe do you want us to be? The execs basically have at it, they definitely don’t want ‘safe’.
Back at Unanimous, still in the studio, Arsinio concedes that Aubrey is probably the best to perform the jingle. She is after all a Singer (Double Platinum she reminds us- Sweetie, your Group was double platinum, NOT You alone but I’m sure that attitude is why Diddy fired your ass). So once again, she’s taken over only this time, I think Arsinio let her do it. The band and creative crew comes in and she’s in her glory giving direction. Suggests that perhaps Arsinio RAP a bit.
Over at Forte, the band is on the way and the team is trying to figure out exactly what type of style to use. Dayana isn’t very well versed in music styles. I’m thinking she’s probably quite well versed in Latin music styles but when it comes to American styles, not so much. Clay is a bit frustrated but is trying to take the lead on nailing down the style. Basically he says when it comes to such, Dayana doesn’t know her ass from a hole in the ground.What it came down to was Dayana didn’t want to pigeon hole the music into one specific genre and for that, I kind of have to agree with Clay.
At Unanimous, The graphic designer arrives and Arsinio puts Aubrey to work with Teresa on whatever display they are working on. Instead though, Aubrey would rather be in the booth with the background singers directing Them. Arsinio is not a happy camper at this time as he told her to help Teresa.
Back at Forte, Dayana is trying to write lyrics with Lisa, Clay isn’t feeling it, Lisa is trying to write them and Dayana is having her say, as PM. Somehow they manage to come up with a song and Clay begins to rehearse in the booth. Dayana tries to direct and tell Clay how it should be Performed. She sees or hears music in colors, kind of I guess, like a human mood ring. That is, if it’s black in color, it’s dark and angry. That sort of thing. He is NOT happy about her injecting herself into that which he is the expert. What he says about it is, it’s like the blind leading the seeing. I think he may be correct in this case. Dayana is hell bent and determined to be completely involved in every bit of this task. She thinks the women should be singing some too. Clay states, in TH, he’s heard her sing, and it sucked. I think the real Clay Aiken has stood up here. In the past, he’s tried to be diplomatic about stuff but I think the shit is going to hit the fan between he and Dayana will soon get into it (I’m writing this real time as I listen to it), we’ll see.
Over at Unanimous, Aubrey is finished with HER vocal, Don Jr walks in. They play the track for him. Not bad, he says and they are putting it together pretty well. Natureally that bitch Aubrey (I never use that word in an endearing way) tries to throw Arsinio in front of a runaway freight train. Don Jr, I don’t think is very impressed.
At Forte, Dayana continues to push her PM status, it’s Two against One (she’s the one). Clay says he’s spent years teaching learning disabled people and she is by far more difficult than any of them. Don Jr comes in, she tries to tell him what’s happening, saying that Clay is doing a wonderful job. Jabba pipes in with Lisa and Clay are doing most of the work and Dayana is basically in the way. Oh Boy, here come the fake waterworks. Jabba The Hut is blowing another fit. Oh No She Diddn’t. No She Did NOT just call Dayana a BITCH in front of Don. What A Pig. Real good impression you made there Jabba the Hut. I have had it with that cow’s fake waterworks. At this point of listening, I can’t think of which team I really want to LOSE. I want to see either Jabba the Hut get bounced, or that She Devil over on Unanimous. Dayana has taken on the brand messaging. She tries to make nice with the cow/pig (take your pick), but the pig will have nothing to do with it. She SWEARS to Bury Dayana in the board room if they lose. IT’S ON. No More Mrs Nice Pig.
At Unanimous, Aubrey and Arsinio are talking about how to Present the jingle using Teresa. Somehow they hatch a plan, Arsinio told Aubrey what he wanted and somehow thinks she has become a team player. At some point they came up with the idea of Arsinio playing a marching drum to tie into the cheerleader idea she has railroaded Arsinio into. Of course, Aubrey does it her way because Arsinio out, I assume getting the drum for their show (they were talking on the phone). The way they discuss it will work is, Teresa is stranded, In comes Arsinio banging his drum to cue the the jingle, and away they go. The way it will play out as Aubrey changed it while he was gone is Teresa is stranded with Arsinio, they way she laid it out anyway. Arsinio will play the drum at the end during precluding his RAP rather than at the beginning of the bit. Arsinio shows up and has a fit that Aubrey has changed everything from what they agreed on and says he’s not going to play the drum at all. Poor Teresa is caught in the middle of all of this. Somehow I don’t think she’s experienced anything like this on her Other show, RHONJ (but maybe that is coming).In the end, Arsinio bends to Aubrey’s will though.
Back at Forte, they are in the rehearsal space and Dayana is trying to direct. Clay finally loses it for being told how to do something that he is the professional at. Staging the bit. He says to Jabba, it’s two against one. He’s had it with her too, she says do what you want, when you finish, I’ll clap.
Performance time. As they are getting ready, Clay hears Aubrey singing their jingle. He thinks his/theirs is much better. The way Forte’s jingle plays out is it’s a radio spot. Jabba is the announcer, Clay is ‘Sam’ and his backup singers are the Samettes. Side note for Clay here. The mussed up greasy hair look may have been cute on you as a little boy and definitely pre-botox. Dude, Run some shampoo through that mop. Doesn’t matter for the bit though, he’s got it all plastered down and looks more ridiculous than he always does. Anyway, they do their bit and at the end, Dayana comes out, which I think was not part of the show plan, says thank you to the team, and hands the flyers to the crew to pass out to the execs. BTW, She was speaking without a microphone so no one really heard her. Feedback to Don Jr from the exec, Good but a little too ‘safe’ and he wished Dayana had been more present and wearing some branding. She was in her regular clothes. Looked good but not what one would hope for in an advertisement jingle performance.
Unanimous time. Their show starts off with the entire cast of backups handing out the flyers to the crowd. We then see Teresa and Arsinio come on to the stage playing as if they are in complete darkness and stranded. I thought they did great. That Ho Aubrey however, in her TH, states that SHE is the only one with talent. Gee I wonder, Why did Diddy fire her? I’m confused. She’s such a team player and such a lovely person. Who would NOT want to work with her? I mean, Really. Anyway, she and the rest of the cast come out and do their thing, make good use of the mascot. She jumps in his arms and if I could see the guys true face, I’d bet his eyes were bugging out. We all know however, she has to be the center of attention. Arsinio does his RAP, Plays his drum as the team chants their slogan, show over. The exec liked all of it but thought Teresa was a little underutilized and made a point of telling Don Jr that he specifically told Aubrey who the audience was. He thought the cheerleader outfits were a little too slutty. I’ve seen worse, especially Aubrey but it isn’t My product she’s pushing.
Board room time. I’m not going into a blow by blow. You can read it all above because 96% of it was Jabba The Hut smacking down Dayana, and Dayana trying to defend herself. The She Devil from the other end of the table even injected herself talking about how great Jabba The Hut is. STFU, Aubrey. At one point, Donald asks Arsinio if he would like to trade Aubrey for Dayana after he’s asked what he thinks of her (to which he chose the diplomatic route and said he hadn’t worked with her so he didn’t know her in that way). To the Trade offer, He declined. Long story short, Arsinio’s team wins. $45k minimum to the Magic Johnson foundation plus 100% of the proceeds from the sale of the mascot figurine. They are excused. Back in the board room, since there are only three left, there’s no bring somebody back. All this while, Jabba is launching into what a business woman she is of 21 years and Dayana is as dumb as a clump of dirt. Ummm, Jabba, I’ve seen your act. What kind of Business comedic talent does it take to talk about how many Black Kickstands have been in your chickolina (thank you Teresa G.)? Dayana goes into how difficult it was to manage these two personalities, Clay pipes in a bit. Ivanka chimes in with how that was the task at hand, to take control. I don’t think Ivanka has seen that witch in action. In the end, The Don loves Dayana, but, She’s fired. 7th time was the charm for Jabba and you can see the smile and laugh on her face. Sort of like this.
Next week, The contestants get Double Trumped, whatever that means. John Rich and Marlee Matlin are in town as his people to grill the contestants on why they should be the CA. Aubrey gets the chance to show her ‘Gut’ during a photoshoot. Have I mentioned how much I….. Of course I have.
Til next time, Peace.