Atlanta

This post isn’t going to take up much of my time, or yours.  I think I’ve been pretty clear in my observations regarding these women.  Since Marlo was still on the couch, I’ll start with a few comments about her role during the reunion.  Nene said that Marlo was a Baby Nene and that’s why Nene intervenes on her behalf.  I think Nene is kidding herself.  Marlo could chew up and spit out Nene in a second, given a reason and an opportunity.  As loud and arrogant Nene may be, Marlo is 100 times worse.  The felonious female has no boundaries at all and doesn’t care one rat’s patoot about Nene, or anyone else for that matter.  It is all about Marlo, all about how to bilk wealthy and foolish men of their money, all the while pretending that they love her for her witty repartee.  Marlo already has her Masters’ Degree in the world’s oldest profession – Nene is still in high school.

The one lightbulb moment I did have was when I saw what happened to Cynthia while Marlo’s expensive ass was seated next to hers.  Suddenly Cynthia had a lot to say and none of it was pretty.  For a woman who sat, virtually mute, during the first two parts of this reunion, she had a lot of opinions about everyone.   With the backing of Marlo and Nene, our once meek model took on Kim and Kandi with a vengeance.   Marlo had started it all with her version of Kim’s past and how it differed from her own circumstances, and that was all Cynthia needed to begin her own idiotic Nene-like screaming match.  I think I’m beginning to understand why she is married to Peter, because both of them have a very dark side – Cynthia just has kept hers under wraps until now.

I don’t know why Kandi’s relationship was dragged into this shouting match.  The only thing I could hear – and hearing anything amid all of the hollering  wasn’t easy – was that Kandi pays for much of what she and her boyfriend do and have.  That’s not a problem for me.  If either partner has the means to buy what a couple enjoys, then I don’t care what their gender is.  I thought we had evolved beyond that, but we’re talking Mar-logic here, so I’m probably asking too much.

Nene explained how she had introduced Sheree and Kim to the Bravo producers which led to their becoming Housewives.  Kim acknowledged Nene’s role and thanked her for that, actually saying that she would not have met Kroy if it had not been for the show, and that all of them had been given their own opportunities.  Sheree wanted to spin that to make us believe that she had been hired on her own merits, but, then again, she also wants to believe that “She by Sheree” is going to be in Macy’s near us by next week.   Phaedra only spoke about two sentences during this hour.  I think she was wondering which and how many of the others could be of some use during her embalming classes.  She and I are so glad this is over.

New Jersey

They’re still talking about Teresa’s cookbook.  Maybe they don’t read anything else – well maybe a tabloid.  They like tabloids.  I have to say that I don’t want a cookbook that talks about stripper/carwashes and makes digs about ones’ family.  I would rather those little asides were saved for things like explaining the difference between a roux and a reduction.  It’s out there, though, and the Jersey girls just can’t let it go.  Teresa tried to apologize to Caroline – Teresa style – but her highness prefers to hang on to her anger.  I don’t think she anything better to do.

Everybody is talking about Teresa, including her brother, and he isn’t helping the situation.  One thing I did notice, and, of course, this can change at any given moment, is that it was Melissa did try to douse her fiery husband.  She downplayed cookbook-gate to the Wakiles as well.  During a barbecue with the Wakiles, Melissa said, over and over, that it wasn’t a big deal.  No one was listening until Kathy’s Mom finally told them to knock it off and act like a family.

The Wakiles and Gorgas go off to Tom’s River, New Jersey for a holiday weekend.  The Gorgas have a house there, but it’s nowhere near ready for a Certificate of Occupancy, so they spend the weekend with the Wakiles.  The Giudices are also headed to their own beach house – no, don’t ask me how they’re paying for it.  On the way, while Teresa is driving, Juicy starts mumbling something about a business meeting where, apparently, there were a number of ladies present.  This sets Gia off on her Dad, who starts to question why so many women needed to be at a business meeting.  I have to say, this kid is killing me.  As Teresa tried to point out to her husband, Gia is old enough to see and read all of the gossip publications.  She shouldn’t have concerns and questions and worries like these at her age.  I can only imagine what it must be like for her at school.

While at the beach, Teresa and her brother do have a little conversation about what has happened to them.  Baby Joey tells his sister that he will be there for her should Juicy have to spend more time in the County jail.  What I did find interesting is when Teresa reminded him that he hadn’t even called while Juicy was in jail for a week.  I didn’t find Joey’s explanation all that convincing, so, I’m hoping, for all of their sakes, that he means it this time.

Caroline is not at the beach.  She’s in a doctor’s office trying to use her omnipotence to ward off menopause.  I wish her luck with that.  I did have to chuckle when her doctor’s diagnosis was as simple as “You’re getting old.”  Nice one, doc.

Jacqueline is also absent from the band of beach revelers.  She has a life coach to help her deal with Ashley.  I don’t think it’s working.  The newly blonde Ashley is upstairs trying to figure out how to download music to a Dyson vacuum.   Chris Laurita finally puts his foot down and tells Ashley that she has two choices – go to Las Vegas to stay with relative or get the hell out.  Chris’ foot must be getting sore by now.  Ashley has been sent to Texas and Los Angeles under the same, obviously, empty threat.  Jacqueline, true to form, is hiding in another room, again, letting someone else do the heavy lifting.

I know, I was supposed to give you my latest reason for why I was forced to watch Bravo.  My husband is limping around with a sprained ankle, but I knew that you wouldn’t give me a “get out of Bravo free” card for that, so, here I am, for the same reasons all of you are.  We just can’t help ourselves, sometimes.

Empress