Families – Thick As Thieves

Caroline Manzo made a passionate statement about her love, loyalty and devotion to her family when she said, “Let me tell you something about my family, we are as thick as thieves and we will protect each other until the end.”   I’m sure that when she said that, she meant it, but from where I’m sitting, “the end”  comes the minute you sign a contract with BravoTV.   The women who make up the casts of the Real Housewives’ franchises are proof that anyone who joins hands with this network is not going to survive in tact or have a happy ending.  The fact that the people who take part in the New Jersey version are real families just makes it all the more tragic.

This Sunday, the new season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey begins and it already looks like return of the Borgias, except with Twitter accounts.  I have a Twitter account and I use it to publicize my blog posts.  I don’t know if anyone in my family has one – I haven’t asked and I haven’t looked.  I don’t tweet to friends and I rarely look at my Facebook account.  I call people on the phone and talk to them or send an occasional email, especially when it come to my family.   That isn’t what happens among the Gorgas, the Manzos, the Lauritas or the Giudices.  They take every piece of gossip or family secret, and publish it for the world to see. Then they read what everyone else has tweeted about them, and if they don’t like what it said, they block the owners of those accounts.   Sounds just like the rest of us, right?

During the last Jersey Reunion, there was a pig pile led by Caroline, which was intended to eviscerate Teresa.  Caroline, who once called Teresa “family”, claimed that they were never even friends.  If that wasn’t bad enough, sister in law Melissa and cousin Kathy decided to rub a little salt in that wound, and call out Tre and her husband for all of their legal and family indiscretions.   In fact, the entire last Season of Jersey was cringe worthy as we watched these families tear each others’ flesh apart, leaving us to wonder if there would be any family left at all.   Jacqueline didn’t even have the courage to do her own dirty work.  Instead, she hid in her house, tweeting up a storm and letting the Matriarch of the Manzo clan deliver her message with repeated body blows accompanied by a chorus of harpies – who just happen to be the target’s family.

I can’t say that I’m terribly fond of any of these women and their families.  None of them have clean hands, and yet they throw out sanctimony and platitudes as if they were in line for sainthood.  Each and every one of them has broken or bent a law, lied, gossiped, back stabbed and  tried to destroy at least one, if not more, of their cast mates.   Some, like Caroline and Jacqueline, bring their children into the fray, and then are appalled if someone calls them out on it.  After all, in the family, the children are off limits.

We already know that nothing is going to get better as this Season begins.  Everyone has thrown down their respective gauntlets and no one is letting go of the grudge matches.  Teresa and Juicy are still up to their eyeballs in legal matters.  I, for one, think that Joe should go to jail.  He certainly isn’t helping his wife and, if he continues to act like Jackie Chan, those face plants are going to cost a fortune at the orthodontist’s office.   I can’t help it, but I still look at Teresa as more than just the innocent bystander in their money issues, particularly after she told us that rule number one for going to court is to never tell the truth.  She must sound like Mother of the Year when she’s teaching her daughters all of life’s important lessons.

Baby Joey and Melissa should work towards making amends with their entire family.   The Gorga parents are not going to be with their children forever, and it is important that they have some peace of mind regarding how their son and daughter will relate in the future.   Melissa would be wise to keep her sisters out of the loop and stop listening to their opinions about Teresa.  They’re doing nothing other than feeding already overblown problems, egos and miscommunications.  There may actually be a domino effect wherein the Wakiles just go back to being a nice family.  Baby Joey should also consider staying out of his wife’s closet – it’s not as funny after the first 5 or 6 times you prance around in a jumpsuit and wig.

Chris Laurita has to put a muzzle on his wife and shut down her Twitter account.  Her own daughter, who is no walk in the park herself, has told us that her mother is very good at stirring it up and creating drama.  Maybe Jacqueline should do volunteer work to take up some of that idle time – like teaching teens about all of the dangers of texting and driving.   Her husband has enough of his own legal battles to be babysitting his wife.

Caroline should also look into some other outlets for her free time.  It might be a good idea if she helped her sons fill out job applications so that they can actually find real careers, and stop selling water that looks like motor oil – even if it does cure colds and cancer and enlarged prostates.   If all else fails, Chris and Albie could go back to The Brownstone, and maybe Albert would realize that his apartment over the banquet hall is not really his primary residence.

If all of this sounds like I’m trying to get rid of them, well, then I’ve written this the way I intended to.  I do want them to go away – at least from Bravo.   They can say what they want about putting family first, but that’s not what is happening, at least from my perspective.  They are putting fame, vanity, products and half-assed careers first.   We’ve seen what that can do to each and every Housewife in each of their cities.  They become mean, hateful, arrogant and vengeful.  Many of them believe the press they get, and, all too often, engage in feeding the media sharks.  There is a part of all of them that becomes deluded by their fame, and we’ve seen how ugly that can get.  The only reason I think that this franchise is different – maybe even special – is that it is about families.  LuAnn, Nene, Gretchen and even Jill, can walk away and their families will still be there.  That may not be the case if the ladies of Franklin Lakes don’t start reassessing their priorities.  I’m almost certain that there are any number of women in New Jersey who would jump at the chance to be Bravolebrities, and they don’t even have to know each other.


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22 Responses to Families – Thick As Thieves

  1. Donna says:

    I am NOT looking forward to this season of NJ. I am going to watch CA.

  2. Donna says:

    Just a thought here, Caroline has 11 brothers and sisters. Her siblings seem to be feuding big time. Why does she need to jump into the Gorgon/Gudice/Walkie family business and take sides? Perhaps she should try mending fences within her own Laurita clan.

  3. melthehound says:

    I’ll be watching the show. It’s my original franchise and right now, the only one I haven’t signed off of, yet. I must say that the only reason I Haven’t signed off Is Teresa. People can say what they want about her, but I still like her. I still tend to believe that as an actual (non tv) housewife, these financial problems hit her out of left field. What she’s since done with the knowledge is on her of course.

    In addressing one of the statements you made, the bit about lying in court, I know that’s the way it came across. I didn’t quite read it that way though. Here’s why. The ‘lie’ was in reference to Joe signing his partners’ name on a document(s). While I have no Proof of it, I suspect it is something that had been done in the past, With the partner’s knowledge. The betting man in me says this partner Also signed Joe’s name once or twice. When it began to hit the fan, Partner decides to cover his own ass with this forgery thing (which technically, it is). Joe admitted in court he had done it and as a result, lost the case involving it. Hence, Teresa’s remark about it being better to lie. Was she right to say it? Absolutely not but I understood where she was coming from. She should have just said nothing.

    The ‘ladies’ of NJ have put me firmly and solidly in Teresa’s camp for good, when it comes to this show. If the queen bee doesn’t want anyone saying anything about her Adult Kids, then she should slap a muzzle on them. The entire Manzo clan did nothing all season long but bash Teresa. Even when they were ‘on her side’. Teresa has every right to defend herself in any way she can regardless of what DonC thinks of it. I for one, can understand Why Albert might prefer to stay at the Brownstone.

    With regard to the ‘families’, I agree with everything you say. Baby Joey and his pig of a wife decided to escalate whatever this feud is by slapping away Teresa’s hand when we First met them. Papa Gorga seems to have taken Teresa and her Joe’s side. Why is that? Is it just a daddy’s little girl thing or is there more to it? Somehow I doubt it because he appears anyway, to have chosen Gudice over Gorga when it comes to the Joes.

    I’ll stop here before my response becomes longer than your post 😉 Have a great day everyone.


    • Donna says:

      ITA The 4-team are telling press in a ? way, we are going to be surprised and everyone will turn on Teresa. I don’t like that mob mentality. (? lol supply your own snark)

      • melthehound says:

        😀 It’s going to take a lot for me to turn on Teresa. She’s going to have to kick a puppy across the room or beat her kids in front of us. Nothing that pack of hyenas says or does is going to change my (for one) view of her.

    • OK – So I had to think about this – and you have no idea how much I hate thinking on a Sunday. The lying in court remark – Tre may very well have said something out of line when she had no clue what she was talking about. As Juicy’s favorite reply to his wife about any matter is “Tre, shaddup”, she probably just gave up asking him anything – about his business or even what he wanted for dinner. I also think that any business arrangement between Juicy and a partner would stray, more than just a bit, from what is right and/or legal. Given your scenario, I guess that Juicy couldn’t have countered his partner’s claim with “He did it, too. We do this all the time.” Not a good defense, by any stretch.
      I think I’m still seeing Teresa as the table-throwing, petting zoo wearing, screaming woman from earlier seasons. I will concede this much – that after watching what happened at the last reunion and now watching her on CA – I am looking at her from a slightly more sympathetic POV – the rest of them are looking more like Jersey Shore than the ladies who lunch.

      • melthehound says:

        I didn’t suggest it was a defense. Only that it likely happened more than once and happened from both ends when things were ‘good’. That;s only a theory of mine though. No proof as I said earlier. I don’t excuse him one bit and hate the way he drunk treats Teresa. To me he’s a bafoon at best only fun to watch when get gets what’s coming to him (drunken face plant – chipped tooth, Yes, I laughed at it).

        • I actually thought that your theory made sense re: the forgery thing – I used the term “defense” only to the extent that Juicy was between a rock and a hard place, and his partner happened to outsmart him on this one. I won’t cut Juicy any slack at all when it comes to his role as husband and father. I think he treats his wife terribly, even when he’s sober, and he scares the hell out of his kids.

    • Adgirl says:

      MTH I love your point about Tre’s father. He is “the smoking gun” concerning the real story between the siblings.
      I look forward to your comments this season so I won’t feel compelled to watch this show.

  4. Adgirl says:

    I have bever been into this franchise.
    Initially I watched it but was turned off by Danielle stalking the Manzos and then by the show’s claustraphobic nature. When Danielle was finally lead off the stage in a straight jacket I tried to watch it again but this time I was stressed by the interfamily fueding.
    RHNJ is Bravo and reality tv at its worst. Years from now not one of these families can look back and say “Wasn’t it fun when we …”.
    Its nothing but a chronicle of how narccissism blows up a fambly.

    • Yep – these families are not going to look back, in 20 years, and reminisce about how good things were while watching these “home movies”. They’re saying and doing things to each other that are going to hurt for a long time.

  5. klmh says:

    Looking forward to your review of the first of the NJHW season. I know the characters and I’ll enjoy your description, rather than watching these Neanderthals in action.
    Thanks for taking the bullet yet again…

    • klmh – I’m glad that you referred to my post as a “review” rather than a recap. I don’t do very good recaps and just end up offering more opinion than play by play. “Description” is good – I can work with that. 🙂

  6. Donna says:

    Q is back, I mention this as I noticed she is on your blog roll

  7. Donna says:

    OMG just watched with a side eye NJ reunion, Car really sticks her nose into everyone’s business! When they subject of Gia and her song came up, I was angry, Car’s kidz are off limits only Teresa can be called out on how she handles her kidz. Aren[‘t Car’s kidz grown men? Pathetic smoke and mirrors

    • melthehound says:

      The Difference is, in case that sourpuss (my new word for her) didn’t understand it, and I’m 100 percent certain she doesn’t,, is that Teresa’s kids are all minors under the age of 10. HER kids, are all grown adults who all signed on the dotted line to make themselves look like a bunch of raging mama’s boys with too damn much time on their hands.. In other words, I agree with you.

  8. princesspindy says:

    The word that comes to mind when I think of HWNJ is “distasteful.”

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