I’m guessing that none of you are going to buy my Claritin excuse again, so I’ve come up with another, and I think, more plausible, reason for my second lapse of judgment in the same week.   This time it’s because of the State of South Carolina – well, not the whole State, but their Health Department.  You see, we have well water and it was tested this week.  It seems that were some unwelcome and unwanted elements in the water, and the State told us to “shock” the well.  Having never had a well before, we found that this entails dropping a rather large number of chlorine tablets 174 feet down into the well and then running our water until it reached every faucet, appliance and outdoor spigot, resulting in the whole place reeking of bleach.

I’m pretty sure that you know what it must have been like around here for the past 24 hours.  Even the dogs knew that this wasn’t the best place to be and just stared at us, through the windows, while they stayed safely outdoors.  So there you have it – I was overcome by fumes, passed out and woke up to find my TV tuned to Bravo, with me too weak to do anything about it.  I’ve put on my gas mask and haz-mat suit, and that has nothing to do with the fumes in my house.

The husbands have taken their places on the stage.  First, let me just say that I would like Kroy and Apollo to take Peter outside to the back door of The Biltmore and make him disappear.  I won’t even care how they do it or where they leave him, I just want him to go away.  I can’t understand how that man has any right to any of the hubris he displays.  He is not all that attractive, he’s incapable of running a profitable business and he is simply mean-spirited.  I don’t think it was a slip of the tongue that Peter referred to the Housewives as “girls”.  I don’t consider all of them worthy of being called ladies, but the use of the word “girl” is deliberate on his part, and shows that he has no respect for any females, especially his wife.

Apollo and Kroy, particularly Kroy, seem to be very nice men.  After seeing Peter, Apollo and his felony conviction doesn’t really look all that bad.  Kroy is cute, sweet and soft-spoken – in other word – what every woman is looking for.  While both of their wives are  handfuls, these two house husbands appear to be content, happy and supportive.  I really want the Biermann’s marriage to last beyond Kroy’s Falcons contract, but, I guess, time will tell.

Andy insisted on delving into the black baby/African baby/orphanage non-controversy.  As dim-witted as Cynthia may be, I don’t think that even she meant it as an accusation with racial undertones.  I’m sure that Kandi didn’t, and I believe her when she said that Kim just doesn’t like to go anywhere, and Africa wouldn’t have been Kim’s definition of a good time.  Even Nene had to agree with that and we know that Nene doesn’t want to defend anything when it comes to Kim.  The truth is that the always desperate Sheree plants stories and creates drama just for her own amusement.

Phaedra explained her interest in the funeral business and it made sense to me.  I think she has what it takes to help families through what is the absolutely worst time in their live.  If she can sit on that couch, with that crowd of raving lunatics, then she already possesses the skills and temperament it takes to guide a family during funeral arrangements.   Why that caused Nene to roll her eyes again is beyond me, but Nene has been doing that throughout this reunion, so maybe her eyes are just stuck in some loop now and she can’t help herself.

We were subjected, for just a bit, to Marlo.  I’m not going to lie to you – I do not like this woman.  I don’t see anything about her that is likeable or a character trait that is even slightly redeeming. You know that I’m open to others’ opinions, but I have yet to see anything about her that could make me change my mind.  Marlo is what I would think of when I hear about the problem with making silk purses out of sow’s ears.   I found myself – I can’t believe I’m saying this – rallying for Kim when Marlo decided to offer her evaluation of her.  I am no fan of Kim’s – not by a long shot – but Marlo is no position to criticize anyone’s lifestyle.  Mugshot Marlo learned how to clean up her outward appearance but her past is still what defines her.  Yep, Kim accumulated a lot of what she has by keeping company with men who rewarded her assets with some of their own, but Marlo has and still is doing the same thing.   When Andy asked if any of the other women were physically afraid of Marlo due to her criminal past, their answer was no.  I would rethink that if I were them.  She has already shown all of us little glimpses of her real M.O. and she certainly scares me.   Nene likes her and admires her.  What else can I say?

There is one more hour to go and Marlo will still be on that couch.  I’m trying to think of another cover story as to why I’ll still be watching.  I might go with something about drunken Secret Service agents, Ted Nugent and some Colombian hookers.  Actually, now that I think about it, that sounds more like a story line for Bravo.  OK, I’m going to be in front of the TV Sunday night because I can’t help but wonder how this mess will end.  I hope it won’t require more bleach.

Empress