The Dream of the Melting Pot

Americans like to describe their country as a melting pot, a place where people from all over the world can come to live, raise their families and find opportunities.  The things is, we’re not even close to that.  Sure, we’re a diverse society, made up of all types of nationalities, religions, ethnicities and colors, but we’re a long way from that promise of a melting pot.

The term was first introduced in the United States, in a play from 1908, and described America as a place “where all the races of Europe are melting and reforming”.   It sounds idyllic, the idea that all of us could just blend, and that all of the sharp edges of our disparate backgrounds would be smoothed out by the melting process.  Instead, we are reminded, over and over, that is simply not the case.

Everyone is talking about the shooting in Florida of a black teenager, and the shooter, described in the media as a latino/white man.  As we’re all talking, the discourse has been broken, again, with no one even making any sense.  It’s turned a tragedy into a sideshow and another opportunity for a teaching moment into a mob scene.   I said “again” because this type of incident, and the rhetoric surrounding it, happens all the time.  We’ve screamed in each others’ faces over Tawana Brawley, the Duke lacrosse case, and  Professor Gates’ and Sergeant Crowley’s confrontation.   Muslims, who are our next door neighbors, have been attacked for trying to build a cultural center near Ground Zero.   Since 9/11, their lives have changed simply because they look or dress or worship in a manner different from others.  We’ve put our own citizens into internment camps, during World War II, because their crime was they were of Japanese descent.

What happened in Sanford, Florida is another situation where the flames are fanned, by all of us.  The media hasn’t helped – it never does.  They send us little messages by putting up pictures of Trayvon Martin in junior high and George Zimmerman in a mug shot, which, I guess, are so that we can see who is the good guy and who is the bad guy.  There have been leaks to the media about Martin’s Twitter account as well as videos of Zimmerman in handcuffs, apparently without any injuries, so that both of their reputations can be distorted and tarnished.  It’s not good reporting and it certainly isn’t fair.

After a while, all of this will die down, because that is what has always happened.  Americans will find something new to focus on and complain about.  The news will tell us what to worry about and social networks will find a new cause to buzz about.   That will be the real shame in all of this.  In February 2009, during a speech honoring Black History Month, Attorney General Eric Holder said that we are “a nation of cowards” which remains “voluntarily socially segregated”.   I believe he’s right.   There is nothing, in the way we are speaking or acting, that proves otherwise.  We have the same arguments, time and again, and end up right where we started.

There could be a number of reasons, some are simply excuses, as to why we take no real steps to bridge our differences and take the time to really talk to each other.   I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t understand  even a fraction of the cultures that make up our society and country.  That which we don’t know, we fear, and when we’re afraid, all too often, we get angry.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying the cultures from which each and every one of us comes.  Our own varied backgrounds, beliefs and traditions should be shared and passed down.  I don’t think that we are meant to become completely homogeneous by forgoing everything that makes us heterogeneous.

We are going to keep running into problems, though, if we cling to only those things which we know and make us feel comfortable.   I’m hoping that we can get out of that comfort zone more often, and have the guts to speak to and understand each other in the way Mr. Holder is suggesting.  If not, we’re never going to be that melting pot, and all of our edges will never soften and blend.  Being afraid of and angry at each other, forever, isn’t going to help.  We have every reason and all of the resources to be better than this.


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94 Responses to The Dream of the Melting Pot

  1. Adgirl says:

    Great blog. Difficult topic.
    I read somewhere there are record numbers of biracial people now that don’t fit into any group neatly. Some feel lucky to have multiple cultural roots, other feel isolated.

    I think our society has become so vast that everyone is stranded. We gravitate to groups we indentify with and stay there. Immigrants still move into neighborhoods and raise families isolated from the rest of society. We see this on tv – Shahs of Sunset, Russian Dolls, Mob Wives etc. All are subcultures that don’t interact much with anyone else generation after generation.

    I don’t know what the solution is. I always wondered what might happen if we stopped talking about race and how we’re different.

    • Viewer 5 says:

      They say most people under 25 or 30 don’t perceive “differences” in race, etc; it’s essentially not on their radar, unless it was on the tongues of the people who raised them.

  2. melthehound says:

    Ahhh, Freedom of the Press. The freedom of the few to feed bullshit to the rest in order to keep us fat lazy and stupid with a 24 hour repeating news cycle. The freedom to blow smoke up our butts about nothing while covering our eyes blinding us from the real issues. They have it down to a fine tuned science. I’m told as a middle aged straight white man that I’m a bigot. I’ve been told that the better part of my life. I’m told that because I was born a white male, I somehow owe a debt to all those who were wronged before I was born into this ‘melting pot’. It doesn’t surprise me that people tend to gravitate to likeness and I refuse to slap them on the knuckles for it. I don’t have to go very far from my home to find all the diversity I need. I can point out where the black people live, the arabic people, the jewish people, the polish, the mexicans, etc. Guess what.. They all hate each other too. Everyone tends to stick to their own. I’ll guarantee you, I am not welcome in most of those neighborhoods as a visitor. Then they have the nerve to wonder Why I gravitate towards my ‘own kind’ and tell me I’m a bigot for doing so without looking in their own damn mirrors. I have had people call the police and tell them I was Exposing myself to kids because I had the nerve to be in their neighborhoods, INVITED. I don’t have to look very far to see why people hate each other so much. It takes two to have a conversation and exchange of ideas and I for one, tired a Long time ago of trying. I’ll live and let live. That’s it.

    You can correct me if I’m wrong, but that Black kid was killed by a White not, the Mexican, Right? Our last president blew up the levies in N.O. in order to get rid of the blacks living in ocean front property, Right?

    As long as we let the press at large tell us how we’re supposed to all just get along out of one side of their mouths and and with the other, continue to use these hot button issues to whip us into an opposing frenzy, nothing will ever change. The Melting Pot is a fairy tale. A nice idea on the surface but impossible to achieve. We are told this religion is bad, that one is good, when in fact, all of them are murderous and genocidal, historically. The worse part of all of it is, we are Paying these people to tell us that. We pay them by re-electing these moronic boobs known as politicians and buying the products sponsoring the news programs. This day and age, everyone is running around looking for a reason to be offended and our press and politicians are only too happy to give us one. That’s how they keep their jobs.

    I know this isn’t quite what you are talking about Empress but every time I hear that Melting pot phrase, it makes my blood boil.

    • Jeff I feel the pain of your words. And I’m really sorry that your life experiences with other cultures/other races wasn’t more positive. I’m a real small town midwestern girl. The town I grew up in had 2 African American families, and I remember one Hispanic boy. Doesn’t get much whiter than that. Maybe it was my mom that always stood up for the underdog, or her open minded views on religion, or my dad always inviting the one Jewish doctor & family in town to every holiday party, year after year, that molded me.

      So I grew up watching Star Trek, lol maybe that was it. Somehow I always felt that it wasn’t the outside of the person, but the inside that really counted. When I fell in love with a guy from India & we did marry against all odds, my dad only said “now you will know discrimination.” My response was, “good, because racist people aren’t the kind I want to be friends with & now they will stay away from me.” I’m 55 now & wouldn’t change a thing. I’d be lying if I said it was easy, over the years we’ve had more than just racial/religious intolerance to deal with. But any marriage is going to have conflict between the husband & wife, right – so learn to disagree & resolve your differences with respect for each other. Our religious differences are now bigger as are getting older. He respects my religion (Christianity) and I respect his (Hinduism).

      Back in the early 1900s it was hard for the English to marry Germans. My paternal grandmother used to complain about not being able to talk to her German speaking mil. Funny how history repeats itself, my mil only spoke Indian languages. Now she has learned enough English to have a conversation with me.

      I know one thing. A hundred years from now, the world will be a better place. There will be more inter-cultural marriages. Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the trees.

      Fill your life with the people that make you happy, what ever they look like.

      • Plus I’ve stopped watching tv news. My blood pressure is the better for it. Getting the latest news is easier on the internet. Reuters/CNBC/Yahoo – and once in awhile the ABC evening news with Diane Sawyer. Used to watch CNN, MSNBC but now cannot tolerate their regurgitating the same info every 15 minutes with their bias. A few minutes of FOX news can be hilarious. However, my true delight is Jon Stewart & sometimes Colbert.

        Used to like Rachael Maddow but now start feeling ill watching her. Is this an election year? lmao! It’s all good if things get really bad I’ll take up knitting, whittling or watermelon seed spitting. Of course that won’t be necessary as long as tv news stays off my radar.

        • BSF, I’ve never made a secret out of the fact that I am a diehard Stewart/Colbert groupie. Frankly, with all of the mentions I give them, I think I should be on their payroll. Theirs is the only news I can stomach, especially when it comes to politics. If the asshats who run this country want to speak and act in a moronic fashion, then any stories about them should be delivered with just the same level of irony and absurdity.

      • Viewer 5 says:

        My mom used to say we ‘were all one color to begin with, and we will all be one color again before this earth dies out.’
        Big on evolution, mom is. Also… quite a card.

      • melthehound says:

        It isn’t All bad. I’ve met some amazing people of all cultures in my life some of which are still close friends.

    • Jeff,
      Everyone is frustrated and angry and quick to judge. I stopped reading comments at places like HuffPo when I saw people saying that Texans deserved losing their homes during the wildfires last year because they were just a bunch of dumb rednecks. So, the cracks in this country go far beyond the obvious differences – race, religion and ethnic origin. We have regions that do cling to their Bibles and their guns, and we also have those who cling to their trust funds and stock portfolios. They’re never going to understand one another, either It’s a new war between the haves and the have nots.
      The Paul Harvey link that Diva posted the other day summed all of it up very well. I’ve had discussions among friends where we’ve concluded that whatever terrorist groups are watching us should do is simply sit back and do nothing, because we’re eating our own.

      • melthehound says:

        Yep. Couldn’t agree more. A short real story. I was once engaged to a girl from Iraq. She has 4 sisters and she’s the oldest of the 5. This family and all of their other family referred to themselves as Chaldean-American (Catholics) and marrying outside of that was for the most part, frowned upon. One day I got into a discussion with one of her sisters about that Hyphen. That hyphen has Always bugged me. Asking her why she wanted to be Half an American. She was born Here after all. Of course, I was wrong for asking to begin with but I still never got the answer. To this day I still don’t understand why people prefer to be put into nice neat little boxes.

        • thedesigndiva2 says:

          BOXES !!!!! OH NOES !!!! NOT THE BOXES !!!!!

          • PussyGalore says:

            and they’re all made of ticky tacky and they all look just the same…

            The writer of that song was driving on Hwy. 280 when she passed Daly City, just south of S.F. and saw hundreds of identical, nondescript little houses squished together on the side of hill, looking a little like a blight. And then along came the tune.

            • thedesigndiva2 says:

              I keep singing this little tune walking thru the house and Mr ford just smiles… I have hand motions also ….JAZZ SINGER style…..
              I am a form of CHEAP ENTERTAINMENT….

    • Viewer 5 says:

      Hi, Jeffy!

    • Adgirl says:

      Hey Mel, As always, I super enjoy your remarks.

      I’ve worked on the business side of the media (revenue generation side) and have concluded there are a record number of smug jerks attracted to the profession of “journalism”. Whatever is taught at journalism school it isn’t about giving us a balanced presentation of the facts … it’s tell a STORY. That’s right … we are waaayyy too dumb to make up our own minds.

      Anywhoooo, the most hilarious part of ALL of this is, there is NO ONE more narrow-minded and snobby than a “journalist”. They only hang around other journalists and talk about how stupid and small minded everyone else is. However, you won’t see them taking their gardeners or grocery store clerks to the baseball game or invite them over for cocktails and brie. They won’t send their kids to low performing schools to hang around with junior gangsters.

      Anyway … great thoughtful posts by everyone.

      Question Authority!!!!

      • melthehound says:

        Thank you Adgirl 😉

        Yep. It’s amazing how “THEM” , “they” are. That’s why I’d rather watch Teresa flip a table than pay any attention to the ‘journalists’. Please media, Cut the crap. Tell me who what when and where. Leave me to ponder the Why.

  3. T-Wrecks says:

    “Jesus died for somebody’s sins but not mine
    Melting in a pot of thieves
    Wild card in my sleeve
    Thick heart of stone
    My sins my own
    They belong to me, me.

    People say “beware”
    But I don’t care
    The words are just
    Rules and regulations to me, me…

    Go Rimbaud! Go Rimbaud!
    And go Johnny go!
    And do the watusi
    Yeah do the watusi…”

    (Patti Smith song lyrics that popped into my head after reading your post:)
    All good:))

  4. Lisa Renee says:

    Good Morning Empress, great blog. I enjoy an intelligent honest conversation about race relations in this country. I never get to talk about this since my home is in the bible belt, pensacola. Growing up in NYC & attending a school that served as home base for alot of kids whose parents worked at the United Nations, I was exposed to every culture. I know how to curse someone out in 9 different languages. As a white woman raising a child of color I assure you some things have gotten better in the past 24 years. Things have also stayed very much the same. I also agree with Jeff & how the term melting pot is a fantasy. After all is said & done, people stick to their “own”, just the way the world spins. When my parents got married dad was Russian Jew & mom was Italian Catholic. Major Taboo 49 years ago, today not so much. I am pretty sure both sets of grandparents checked to see if I was born with a tail. My jewish grandmother took her finger & ran it down the front of my body & declared that the right side of my body was jewish & the best side. I remember it like it was yesterday. My own family couldn’t get past their ignorance & made sure I grew up clear on how wrong a mixed marriage is. In hindsight, I have had to admit to myself & my child that one of the reasons I had a multi cultural child was to force the world to be a better place. What I inadvertantly visited on her may not have been fair, but I wouldn’t change a thing. She tells me all the time she loves her life. She is the literal definition of the best of both worlds.Thanks for another thought provoking blog, have a great day. Lisa

    • Viewer 5 says:

      No fuckin’ way. You went to the UN school? That place is awesome.
      Hi Lisa!
      *waves from south Florida*

      • Lisa Renee says:

        Hi V5′ yes I did. I lived in Kips Bay so I could walk to school. I also had the distinct honor of being expelled. I have been removed or unwelcomed at some of NYC’s finest establishments haha **Waving back frm the beach** lisa

        • melthehound says:

          I hope you’re waiving back with half a Peace sign.

          “I thought it was supposed to be Two fingers… ” G.W. Bush.

        • Viewer 5 says:

          uh… you got expelled from The UN School? Jeez, LR. Ha!

    • Lisa, I have to tell you that when I wrote this, I gave some thought to you and your daughter, and how you described your relationship. We really have to be smarter about this issue, and our legislators and the media should put more thought into what they say and do.
      One of my least favorite pieces of legislation, that many States have adopted, is the so-called “hate crime law”. All this has done is create a special class of victims and assign motives that no one can actually prove. I find it an Orwellian move, akin to the “Thought Police”. As sad and awful as it sounds, Americans have the right to hate each other. We get to burn flags and carry signs with vile messages and protest just about anything. It’s not going to help matters, and most of us don’t condone it, but it’s there, among our freedoms.
      It also throws the concept of “equal justice under the law” right out the window because it simply cannot be applied equally. It certainly isn’t going to change the way the offender feels or doesn’t feel about about the presumed victim. In fact, I would imagine that, if you’re of a certain mindset to begin with, being charged with a hate crime isn’t going to result in any sort of personal epiphany.
      We have a long way to go. Your daughter is going to have a blast in law school – I know I did.

      • melthehound says:

        “One of my least favorite pieces of legislation, that many States have adopted, is the so-called “hate crime law”. All this has done is create a special class of victims and assign motives that no one can actually prove.”

        Thank you Thank you THANK YOU! I knew there was a reason I liked coming here.

      • baronessbeachcomber says:

        I agree with you that the “Hate Crime Law” is a terrible piece of legislation.

  5. Viewer 5 says:

    Hi Empress – well, I lived in nyc for quite a while, as you know. One of my first jobs was at a janky diner on Varick Street – it’s now a McDonalds. Anyway, it was owned and operated by a 1st gen. Korean couple. One day, our bathroom was out. A lady came in off the street and asked for the restroom.

    My boss said “bathroom – uh, explode.” (this got repeated a couple of times b/c the lady *pretended* not to understand my boss.) The fat lady turns to me, el white girl, w/ this ‘you can’t understand these foreigners” look, and then says something about how she should “learn to speak English.”

    The look on my boss’s face fucking killed me. She was so hurt. I said to the lady “Where are your people from? When did they come over here, huh? You’re not a native American. How DARE you! This woman is my BOSS! How DARE you insult her! She told you four times the bathroom wasn’t working! Get the fuck out of here!”

    That fuckin’ pig knew DAMN WELL what my boss was saying. She just used it as an opportunity to express her prejudice and try to get me to agree. Fucking bully.

    This entire issue has always driven me nuts to distraction. People trying to make themselves feel better by putting down someone else b/c they’re different. There is no different. There is no other. And watch the fuck out during economic hardship b/c it all escalates. Check pre WWII German history if you’re not so sure of that.

    • melthehound says:

      Check pre WWII German history if you’re not so sure of that.

      It’s THEIR fault. Right?

    • I don’t know some things do really get me down, & a hate crime law is justified. Here’s what happened not too long ago in Old Bridge, NJ. An Indian family (wife, husband, 2 sons) were walking in their neighborhood (having lived there for more than a decade) when a car full teens drove by:

      Later the teens posted on their facebook accounts, they were proud of what they had done. Allegedly, 2 were white and 3 were black. The kids involved are being charged with murder. No trial yet, also not clear if they will be charged as adults (4 were 17, 1 was 16 at the time).

      I live in NJ, am active in the Indian community, altho I’m not Indian I have witnessed the bias towards Indians in many places, including other states and Europe. I’ve also witnessed hatred towards African Americans right here in the town I live in, inside the middle school no less. As I walked into the school to pick up my son a few years ago, the lady in front of me was African American. A rotten idiot kid down the hall shouted the n***word when he saw her. I couldn’t believe it – just awful. The principal of the middle school was an African American at the time.

      I don’t think the majority of people have hate in their hearts. The ones that do need the rest of us to hinder their ugly nature as much as we can. Dr. Sinha would be alive if he had just gotten into the house 5 minutes earlier. But what scares me even more, the 5 boys knew the eldest Sinha teen. Did they drive into that neighborhood looking for that specific house? Or was it random? Clearly these boys were out looking for trouble. Shortly before they killed Dr. Sinha, they had attacked a white man driving a car, who did escape.

      • melthehound says:

        Shortly before they killed Dr. Sinha, they had attacked a white man driving a car, who did escape.
        Unless it was only the Blacks who attacked the white man, this kills the race motivation for me.

        • That’s exactly what they are debating now, that it’s not a hate crime because the teens had attacked a white motorist who luckily escaped. However when they attacked the Sinha family, the son knew the boys attacking them from being in high school together. The boys tried to save their father. Such a senseless crime, you nave no idea how this rocked the Indian community in NJ.

          It is a f*&&&^ up world we live in. It will come out in the trial who was the leader in these attacks, who were the followers. The Asian community in Old Bridge came out later detailing bullying acts by the teens involved in this crime, in the high school. It seems to me that it was a bias crime. It also seems to me that the teens went to that neighborhood in search of this particular family. My son, who looks Indian & is dark skinned, is an athlete and knows exactly who has it out for him in his school. Fortunately, his football buddies have his back. In fact, there may be less bullying of Indian/Asian students in the high school because of my son. He stands up for the Asian kids, and guess what? The bullies know it.

          • BSF,
            I’m at a loss as to how the additional charge under the hate crime law is going to have any effect or change the outcome regarding the murder. I also don’t understand how it will change any of the bad feelings among any of the groups involved. This sounds like an issue which needs to be addressed by the entire community and not by the criminal court system – as most of these issues should be.

            • thedesigndiva2 says:

              I always grew up with the notion and still believe today that SANE PEOPLE dont Kill other PEOPLE…. and isnt all KILLING an underlying HATRED to begin with ??

            • Empress, the community has addressed it, as best they can. If anything, it has drawn the Indian community (very large in parts of NJ) more closely together. It has also forced parents to be more aware of the bullying & hate that is going on in the schools. It’s shocking to me what does go on in the schools, what I hear from my friends that are lunch aids in the school system. And what my son tells me.

              Have you ever been spit on? Called racist epithets because of the color of your skin, your dress, or your religion? Maybe you’ve witnessed it happening to others, with your police background.

              I don’t know if the law about hate crimes does any good. I really don’t know much about anything really. But I have witnessed racial bias & yes hatred towards a person just because of the color of their skin or their sexual preference. In the grander scheme of things, a crime is a crime. What motivates the perpetrator? Does the fact those teens that killed the man in Old Bridge will get 5 more years tacked onto their sentence deter anyone from committing a “hate” crime in the future? Most likely not, as the perpetrators don’t seem to think about the law when they are beating someone to death. Saddest part about this story of teens gone wrong is they came from “good” families. They were “gangsta wannabees” trying to show off how tough they were to their friends, according to some who know them.

              We have a long history with hate. Maybe by enacting a law that delineates certain crimes as more heinous because hatred of a specific group – Jews, Blacks, gays, even Hindus etc. – is involved helps the victim’s family & community somehow. Because we are explicitly saying that hate crimes have no place in our society.

              • BSF, I respect your point of view and opinion. I understand how frustrated and angry you are. I will not, in any way, make light of your feelings. All of us know that we have an enormous problem and most of us have no good solution. It’s only my opinion, but I think that laws seldom fix what lies beneath the surface.

              • melthehound says:

                IMO, The only thing Hate Crime laws do is try to force people to get along. The larger the rope you use to try and bind people together, the larger and more tempered the wedge you drive between them. These ‘laws’ put assumptions ahead of facts. Assumptions based on whatever the mood of the crowd is on any given day. If I don’t like a person who happens to be Gay for instance, it is not because I think that person an asshole, but it’s because I’m a homophobe (Another buzz word I HATE).

  6. thedesigndiva2 says:

    HAPPY FIRST DAY OF APRIL and the SECOND QUARTER of the YEAR…Let’s hope things start to turn around..
    Speaking of which..when words just arent the right thing…music helps…..
    It’s a GLORIOUS DAY sunny in FLA…. and the BYRDS are out singing

  7. thedesigndiva2 says:

    Good morning V 5……. Captiva…Would love to go back there..LOL
    The island of course…on my boat the FLORIDAYS..which now sits on the Alabama Coast line..SAD….

    I remember as a young adult having convos with my DAD who was way cool before his time about people and why they are the way they are….. After some indept exchanges of opinions etc he politely reminded me as he walked away…. As far as he could recall..All assholes are the same color…. have not thought about this talk with him for YEARS till today…..hmmmm
    Guess my force field is not strong enough today….wink to V5….hahahahahaha

    In 1983 I went to work with a BLACK ARCHITECT…. I was known around town as the WHITE TOKEN… I never once took offense to this TITLE ,..instead, I embraced the idea and had fun with it and made the firm money…..It was comforting to know that I had other “brothers” watching out for me when ever I needed them…..
    I dont care what color you are what religion you practice etc…. I am more interested in your character… I will listen to your opinions about things and pray that you are just as gracious to listen to mine…. It’s OKAY to not share the same opinions…It’s what makes the world I live in FUN…..


    • Viewer 5 says:

      xo, diva dear.

      • thedesigndiva2 says:

        T wrecks…had to have the TUNES to go with your words……


        • LOL! Since I saw T- wrecks comment, I’ve been waiting for the diva to provide the music.

          • thedesigndiva2 says:

            WELL BEANS !!!!!!!!!! If I am that predictable I must change the game plan…..
            Must consult with the JOINT chief of staff….here here kittehs…!!!!

        • T-Wrecks says:

          Since I am not permitted to rail or whale, Patti’s been doing it on my behalf since @1978:) I wear a silver horse pin on my jacket in honor of…horses… Horses… Horses!…HORSES!!!:)

    • adioslunatic1964 says:

      I’m assuming this was prior to the advent of anal bleaching?!!! Sorry, I had to…just trying to lighten (lol!) things up!

      • thedesigndiva2 says:

        Adios…. LOL LOL LOL …. that was a good one…WHO bleaches their rectum ??

        RECTUM !!!! damn near killed em…..

        • adioslunatic says:

          Diva!!!! Forgot that joke! I will never let any corrosive substance near my heini!!!
          I miss you guys, what the hell happened over at Lynn’s? Please fill me in…

          • thedesigndiva2 says:

            adios…no disrespect intended..what happened at Lynns..stays at Lynns..
            No hard feelings towards anyone from me…just looking at a new horizon FOR NOW…
            Got me some NEW shades.. I can see CLEARLY now…

            Hugs and Peace

            • thedesigndiva2 says:

            • adioslunatic says:

              No offense taken, I understand completely. I have a crazy schedule and by the time I catch up…I was beginning to feel as though I was the only one questioning the authenticity of some of the bloggers, some of their stories were really difficult to swallow…as well as some of the posters stories…but I digress. I just want somewhere to go to discuss the absurdities of reality TV…and laugh…

              • adios,
                I can’t help you much with the reality TV stuff, because I’m trying to break the habit. As for the other issues, I made a promise very early on, in one of my posts, that I would not comment about other blogs or other bloggers.

  8. Lisa Renee says:

    You have an amazing gift. The way you explained the Orwellian like fall out from the hate crimes law gave me chills. I wanted to embrace this new legislation, but couldn’t reconcile proving a persons thoughts. I justified it by declaring it a “necessary evil”. Very scary territory & not how I interpet the constitution. The fact that we are born with the right to hate each other is spot on. IIRC, it was the murder of Matthew Sheppard that started the dialoge that held people legally accountable for thought. I watched the Rutgers “bulling” trial because of this new legislation. Your posts about the SYG law made me re-examine my own position. I feel inadequate sometime, because I only have my GED, so learning so much from you & other commenters has been a real treat. Only as an adult did I realize what type of education I blew. Ashley’s feet have not touched the ground, she is in such a great place, what else could a mom ask for, my child in genuinally happy & healthy. Hubby is giving me the bums rush to get to WalMart before the race starts so I am out the door. Will check in later, Lisa

    • thedesigndiva2 says:

      Lisa…WAL MART ON A SUNDAY… are you NUTS or just a glutton for punishment !!!
      Mr ford veg on couch watching Martinsville….. So now I can play..

      BTW Empress…Everytime I read “melting pot ” I want CHOCO FONDUE..damn you woman..!!!!

      • Lisa Renee says:

        Diva, the upside to living in bible belt, everyone in Church till 3:00. Place echos on a Sunday morning. I hope Mr. Ford enjoyed the race, it was a good one.

    • PussyGalore says:

      Lisa Renee……I think you’d be very surprised to learn how many and which of the posters either didn’t graduate high school, for whatever reason, or have a GED. Somewhere in one of my piles of paper I have an article that lists many successful, prominent, well-regarded people who have never obtained a college degree, so it’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re in good company, believe me.

      • thedesigndiva2 says:

        PG…. It’s almost like Lisa was with us all in SPIRIT last night during the DEEP conversations ALL OF US were having about this very topic…GED etc….

        Lisa…. I felt your presence…and it’s all GOOD

        So nice when a bunch of INTELLIGENT WOMEN can get together and have these types of convos…..YEA….. and actually LIKE EACH OTHER….

        • Lisa Renee says:

          Diva, I stepped in something I can’t ID. That said, I still wanna be like you & Mr. ford when I grow up. Lisa

          • thedesigndiva2 says:

            Lisa…sorry about that… a bunch of us were chit chatting in between taking care of kids..animals.. dinner and sick husbands..LOL
            Your post about the GED was a topic of discussion last night..A good one I might add… wink so it felt like you were there reading and yaking with us…..

            And THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENT about wanting to be like Mr Ford and I..but really you dont.. He’s all broke down now LOL and I am running on empty …I think I am sleeping with my eyes open right now….!!!!!
            He watched the race today with his eyes closed…. LOL
            Back to the drs tomorrow…He’s not feeling well at all.. I have him on 30 minute watches now..JIC… He owes me big time now…!!! LOL LOL LOL ….


      • Lisa Renee says:

        PG… daughter hates when I point out my GED. She thinks I’m one of the smartest people in the world lol. Its not so much I am ashamed, more like a disclaimer, to understand me better & have a little more patience if I am “not getting” it. Thanks for the kind words, Lisa

        • melthehound says:

          Lack of formal eduction and stupidity are two completely different things. I know PhD’s who are as dumb as a box of rocks. Don’t put yourself down or dull your shine because you ‘only have a GED’. Don’t let anyone else do it either.

          • Lisa Renee says:

            🙂 Jeff, I am estranged from my younger sister (another saga for another day) she went back to school as an adult & got her PhD. I always felt for all her book smarts she is very life stupid. Never wanted to switch my “street smarts” for her book smarts. Beautiful, educated yet someone (men) was always making a sucker out of her. Thanks for reminding me about that, I have so moved on from her I forget. My therapist calls that progress lol. Lisa

        • PussyGalore says:

          Lisa Renee…….my cousin married Lori Renee and their baby daughter is named Giselle Renee……’s a tradition, don’t you know.

          Yes, you were there last night; you psychically honed into our very interesting convo, you cheeky devil you. Like you, for years I was ashamed to admit that I hadn’t graduated from high school. Since then I’ve taken many college classes and have done very well in those classes. I realize that it was circumstances that got in the way of my graduating from high school and not lack of intelligence. And when it comes right down to it, it’s really what’s between our ears and in our hearts that measure who we are.

    • Adgirl says:

      Lisa … you are a wonderful and articulate poster. Don’t worry about pieces of paper.

  9. Lisa, About your comment :
    “I feel inadequate sometime, because I only have my GED”.
    Having a college degree is no measure of one’s intelligence. A diploma is what society requires in order to satisfy some criteria in the professional world. Anyone can get an education, but intelligence is a gift, and those who have it can educate themselves. From what I’ve read in your comments, you have the gift.

  10. adioslunatic says:


    I was about to apologize that I had asked a question about something that had me perplexed. I had no previous experience with your blog or what is allowed/not allowed. I truly felt sorry. Then I noticed you had not given me the option to reply to your post.

    Now, I neither regret what I said nor care to apologize.

    Adios Lunatic

    • melthehound says:

      I don’t think it’s about giving opportunity. The forum software allows limits to be set on width of posts. Other sites, it’s allowed to run a column of single word (a single sentence will take half a page scrolling on the right). Just reply to your own last comment that gives opportunity for reply if you have more to say.

    • adios,
      You’re offended by a wordpress setting I chose – nothing more, nothing less. After 5 levels, the reply option is no longer available, as the space becomes too narrow. I didn’t ask for an apology nor did I expect you to regret anything. I’m sorry if you misconstrued anything in my response. I read your comment objectively and I responded in kind. I don’t see anything offensive in it, but you are more than welcome to draw any conclusions you would like.

  11. MaggieG says:

    I’m not convinced that we should aspire to be a melting pot nor that we are born with the right to hate one another. Both these positions seem like extremes that add nothing to our quality of life or enhance our ability to coexist.

    Man is a young species whose technology has surpassed his wisdom on how to best benefit from it. Laws may not solve the core problems that require these mandates but we are a nation of laws & I can think of no more civilized way to guide society.

    • PussyGalore says:

      ITA that technology has surpassed our collective wisdom. People are still starving all over the world and wars rage on. Laws are an important part of the order of things but enacting laws in response to specific events may not be ideal.

      • melthehound says:

        It isn’t ideal at all. Laws are already on the books and these ’emotional reaction’ laws are little more than politician grandstanding and campaigning.

        • Jeff, IMHO, we could have stopped making rules for society right after the 10 Commandments were handed down. I think everything we needed to live by was covered right there. 🙂

          • melthehound says:

            I agree. Can’t bring those up when we’re talking about the Law though. Separation and all that.

          • thedesigndiva2 says:

            Ah yes..the Ten Commandments… Here in this little cow town people have signs in their yards with the Ten Commandments on them… and there is never a negative thing said about it…. Try that on the “coast” and some neighbor would be filing a complaint with code enforcement for failure to get a permit or some crap like that……

            When we lived in an HOA Neighborhood…and we all know how “charming” some of those folks are….. we had a big discussion about these signs.They tried to tell me that SIGNS were not permitted..LOL LOL..WRONG… May I refer you to page 112 of the Deed Restrictions where it states NO …FOR SALE SIGNS will be permitted…welll uh ..uh..NOPE …. If it’s not there in black and white you can’t say a thing about UNLESS you get 2/3 rds of the OWNERS to agree to a NEW RULE..KISS MY ASS.. Commandment NUMBER 11 …..

            I have always been of the mindset that rules and laws were meant to maintain order..not create chaos…What happened along the way ???

            • melthehound says:

              What happened along the way ???

              Congress (both federal and local), City Clowncils, Special Interest Groups and, Political Correctness.

              • Viki55 says:

                Also, Chaos has become a goal. Chaos causes division and fighting among ourselves is the fastest way to destroy this nation. Just my opinon.
                BTW, nice web site:)

              • Adgirl says:

                Why can’t we all get along????!
                Viva le Difference and all that. Live and Let Live. Everyone should be able to display their sign, flag or nativity scene out for the world to see.
                Visualize Whirled Peas, Love Christ, PETA rules, Go Gaters, Heil Hitler … whatever. I say go for it.

                I dislike “correctness” from any source.

  12. This is beyond just being off topic, but I had to share it with you, because it’s one of those things that is just begging for a punchline:
    “Asked about criticism that Romney is “too stiff,” Ann Romney laughed and replied, “I guess we’d better unzip him, and let the real Mitt Romney out because he is not.”

    • Adgirl says:

      Snort! Did you catch Mitt’s response at one of the interminable debates…. he was being goaded about banning contraceptives (because he’s a M-o-r-m-o-n dontcha know).

      Finally, he practically screamed at Stephanopoluous
      “Contraceptives?!!!! They’re working JUST FINE. …. Leave it alone.”

      I had to LOL. Under the Brill Creme is a real guy.
      PS. I don’t know if he has any experience with contraceptives .. doesn’t he have like 85 kids?

    • thedesigndiva2 says:

      Empress.. you know I have all the FILTY replies to this..But in order for the farm to remain FAMILY all will just have to IMAGINE the words…..winks


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