Bethenny Ever After – Alias Benjamin Frankelin

Bethenny and her friend, Hoda Kotb, go out to lunch and start  talking about Hoda’s recent birthday trip to Paris with her boyfriend.  During their conversation, the waiter comes to their table and starts describing the specials of the day, which include oysters from Puget Sound.  His description of the poor shellfish somehow remind Bethenny of her own “wazoo”.   I know that oysters are considered an aphrodisiac, but that isn’t quite the effect I thought they were suppose to have.

The two continue their talk, which leads into more comments, by Bethenny, about Bethenny’s sex life – or lack of one.  She knows that Hoda is having the time of her life, while she  just doesn’t seem to be enjoying some of the same pleasures.  Perhaps I should take back my comment from last week about Jason’s cobwebs and the joys of doing a little dusting.

Back at her apartment, Bethenny has her friend, Teri, over and the two are talking about Bethenny’s sex life – oh and babies.  Teri is telling her how she should have another baby, but we have heard how that happens, and that’s not happening.  Teri also mentions that, if for no other reason, Bethenny should have a second child that might look more like her, because she thinks that Bryn has all of Jason’s good looks.  Well, that went well.

Jason arrives home and is a little annoyed about the fact that the apartment is still full of people who are still working.  He decides to announce the “no work after 6PM” rule.  The three of them start talking about a trip to Spain that Jason and Bethenny have been planning but has yet to come any closer than the discussion stage.  Jason mentions that he has been to Barcelona already.  This comes as a complete surprise to Bethenny who wants to know how, why and with whom did that happen.  Jason says that it was a year before they met and that it was with some other guys.  Bethenny isn’t buying it and tells her husband that a bunch of guys in Spain sounds kind of gay.  Jason just gives up and gets up, telling us that he will never tell her the real story because he can’t get a word in edgewise.

Bethenny then meets up with her foodie friend, Nick, and they are off to do a Falafel crawl.  Nick is interrogated about his sex life during the entire trip, with Bethenny telling him that a little personal grooming, ok, maybe, deforestation, might help him.  Nick says that he would hope that someone likes him for being interesting and making good conversation.  In between restaurants and food trucks, the two go into a salon, where first Bethenny, then Nick, have their eyebrows threaded.  Nick is in obvious pain, and I have to say that the job was a lot more work than is normally required, but he has lost the unibrow look.

Bethenny is going for a girls’ weekend in Montauk and needs Julie to tell her to only fill the car’s tank with diesel.  She also tells Bethenny how to start and shift the car with only the buttons on the Mercedes.  Bethenny is off, with, Dawa,  Bryn in a car seat in the back and Cookie on her lap. OK,  I’m sorry, but if Bethenny insists on driving around with her dog on her lap, well, let’s just hope the airbag never deploys.  Cookie and her mistress are in for a world of hurt.

In Montauk, Bethenny meets up with a few of her friends and their children, and, for their first night, she hosts a clambake at the Montauk Yacht Club.  There is a children’s menu as well as lobster, clams and other items I won’t list because I’m resisting driving back to New England for seafood.  Bethenny finds herself sitting among the kids and Bryn utters her first sentence – “I’m the baby”.   I had to hand it to Bethenny because the very first thing she thought of, after being brought to tears by the moment, was that she needed to call Jason and then make an entry in Bryn’s baby book.

The women had some moments of silliness as they tried to operate a paddle boat.  Most of the group has left, but Bethenny and two of her friends go out to a local restaurant called The Sloppy Tuna.  Bethenny orders a vagina table for three in honor of ladies’ night and the drinking begins.  The three make a toast to their girly pieces and raise their glasses to the deadliest snatch.   Some little guy in a superhero costume comes over and says that he knows Bethenny from somewhere.  It finally comes to him who she is, and happily announces that she is Benjamin Franklin.

That encounter send the three in search of someplace a little less rough and they go to a different bar.  Bethenny talks about her need for friends that she can trust.  She goes on to tell the others how she felt that her stepfather, John, was good to her and that he deserved to be called father.  However, she also admits that she has made no attempt to contact him, despite her feelings for and about him.  She is afraid for her daughter, and hopes that Bryn ends up sweet and soft, not a hardened survivor, like herself.

Lastly, Bethenny meets with Dr. Amador and they talk about the roles of Bethenny’s father and stepfather.  Dr. Amador, despite several interruptions by his patient, makes the point that Bobby Frankel was the first love of Bethenny’s life and remains so, despite her anger and resentment.  He tells her that her love and life doesn’t need to be a matter of Bobby versus John, but that each man can have a place in her heart.

Dr. Amador also asks her to imagine that another 14 year old girl is there, on the couch, and what advice would she give that girl, given similar backgrounds.  Bethenny says that she would probably be curious about a number of things, including why a father would abandon a child.  Dr. Amador tells Bethenny that she was able to show some empathy for this imagined girl’s situation and confusion.  Bethenny is still, deep down, 14.


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19 Responses to Bethenny Ever After – Alias Benjamin Frankelin

  1. Designdiva says:

    Great recap…YEA…saves me having to listening to her… I turned it on ay 1130 when she was lunching with HODA… 2 mins and I JUST could not listen any longer…… Where is my ice pick ??? I’d rather listen to a STONED Kim Richards….
    So thanks for taking one for the DIVA…..winks

  2. PussyGalore says:

    “I’m the baby”….oh my word, I can’t wait to see Bryn when the episodes finally air up here. Poor Jason. It does sound as though things are taking their toll.

    Why does she insist upon making sexual references all the damned time? Poor Nick. I know he’s a very introverted young man and he’s obviously uncomfortable with the subject matter. And poor Benjamin Franklin…….just kidding. Had the little boy been looking at a twenty?

    Funny they’re serving PNW oysters all the way on the other side of the country.

  3. Viewer 5 says:

    Ew: Dr. Armchair. The bottom line, in my opinion, is that no matter what happened to you in your childhood, you, as an adult, are responsible for how you bring (those experiences) into your relationships with others, and/or how hard you work to keep it “out” of your relationships with others. To me, Bethenny sounds like every other self-obsessed person in a twelve-step meeting ranting about the past and taking no responsibility for her actions and thought patterns in the present. I’m glad Dr. Armchair is getting paid for this and is on teevee, b/c he’s probably not going to derive any satisfaction from his client, as she’s probably not going to change.

    Oddly, this is the crux of the issue. In Bethenny’s mind, she has too much invested in being “14 years old” (a tv show, her snarky character, etc.) to change any time soon. And this will, in time, bore viewers to tears, like a video of a puppy doing the same trick on youtube. How many times are you going to watch it? Three? Ten? Fifteen? Eventually, you’ll go looking for another video.

    Bethenny needs to come up with a new bag of tricks, or actively try to “change” – or at least pretend to(!) – for her to stay relevant in the eyes of her audience. She exposes so much about her relationship with her hubby – but it’s all sexual in nature – big deal. The really interesting thing would be if she actually tried to change her attitude and behavior toward him. The really interesting thing would be her sorrow at *not* being able to change… way more so than her sorrow over her recent miscarriage.

    Again, I’m speaking from a PR perspective in relation to her image. Bethenny, in my(neverhumble) opinion, needs to evolve (or pretend to) to stay relevant to her viewers. Okay… long-winded as ever! Thx for the (as ever) clever recap, Empress. 😀

  4. windycitywondering1 says:

    Thank you for a delightful recap – I enjoyed Bethenny’s show – it is supposed to be about her and what she is doing now! It is hard to follow a wedding and birth but she seems to be moving forward, trying to handle all that is happening and still has her sense of humor intact. She is a work in progress. Bryn has caused both a shift in Bethenny’s priorities.IMO, her struggle to become a family is what is most important to her now.

    • windycitywondering1 says:

      the other part of “both” was that Bethenny has it right in her face now just what was lacking in her childhood.

  5. Adgirl says:

    We are all used to seeing Bethenny uptight. I mean, that IS her public persona. Her constant stream of sexual one liners pushes everyone back 10 feet away. You can’t get close to someone who continually mocks and depersonalizes something so personal.

    We are all tired of her angry defensiveness and whining. SHE is tired of it. The inclusion of Dr Amador in the show is to give us hope she can enjoy her life and come to terms with her volcanic anger over her childhood.
    Personally, I find forgiveness to be very healing. You don’t have to go to the person and forgive them to their face. You just need to acknowledge they made mistakes and you are done obssessing over it.
    The act of forgiveness is FOR injured person (in this case Bethenny) to create a path out of her emotional forest


    • PussyGalore says:

      I totally agree with you on the importance of forgiveness. Although I object to the overuse of much of the 12 step jargon, I firmly believe in the idea of faking it until you make it. About an eon and a half ago I remember telling a friend, Elizabeth, that I’d called my ex to tell him and his new wife (a former friend of mine) that I forgave both of them for what they had done. When I admitted to Elizabeth that I hadn’t actually gotten to the point of truly forgiving them in spite of the fact that I’d told them I did forgive them, she was appalled. She asked….how could you do that? and why did you do that? I explained that I hadn’t done it to let them off the hook but rather to help myself move beyond the bitterness that had come with their betrayal of my trust. Forgiveness should never be underestimated in my opinion.

    • Viewer 5 says:

      hear, hear…

  6. Designdiva says:

    From PG….Forgiveness should never be underestimated in my opinion…. YEP along with respect for others wishes…..

    I once had someone ask me if I hated my ex husband..Told them NOPE..they asked why..I said because it would mean I have feelings for him took them a few minutes to figure out what I meant….. But you best believe he had to fight demons of despair every day after I left.

    Never hurt a DIVA..there will be hell to pay….

  7. tuzentswurth says:

    Thanks for the great recap! I found her sexual harassment of the waiter at the oyster bar embarrassing. The waiter looked uncomfortable and it was rude of Bethenny to talk to a stranger like that. I would like to see her stop obsessing over herself and give her daughter the kind of life she wishes she herself had. I hope B realizes though that no matter how well she tries, she will fall short of being a ‘perfect’ parent. (Funny how that happens). Being hypercritical of her own parents’ faults will teach Bryn to do the same. Sometimes you just have to choose to be happy.

    • I felt bad for the waiter and for poor Nick. B may find all of that very clever, but it’s growing old quick.
      She does need to stop using her childhood situation for some of her behaviors. Even Dr. Amador had to bring her down a notch.
      Bryn is getting to the age where her Mom’s manic personality, together with both parents’ disagreements are going to have an effect on her. That said, they must be doing something right, although we’re not seeing it, because that is one happy kid.

  8. tuzentswurth says:

    I noticed that when Bryn is in the scenes, B is not acting like a maniac so I wonder how much of that crazy behavior is for the camera and ratings, and to keep us talking.

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