We’re still on Catalina Island and Eddie is still mad at Tamra. While Vicki and Brooks are seated for dinner, the other lovebirds take their problem outside to try to resolve it. Eddie’s point of view is pretty clear and very understandable. Tamra’s, not so much. She explains in some cockamamie fashion, that Eddie is not to touch any other women, not just Vicki. Even a high five is off-limits. So the placement of another man’s hand on ones boob is the correct and proper response. It’s a lot like calling someone a predator when they make fun of your splits.
Anyway, they kiss, make up and join Vicki and Brooks in the restaurant. Tamra, again, explains her rules to Vicki – who, by the way, understood them about as well as I did. Having built her moat of decency, Tamra then asks Brooks about his preference when it comes to female body parts – basically, does he prefer T or A. He, at least, is uncomfortable with her questions.
Heather is seen having dinner out with her husband, Terry. Did you hear? He’s a plastic surgeon. Dr. Terry explains that his wife send 90% of her meals back to the kitchens of every restaurant she visits. I hope he is a big tipper. Heather explains that she only wants thin pieces of fish because thick ones are never fully cooked. She knows these things because she prepares family meals all of the time. She lets us know that she regularly orders takeout or reheats leftovers from takeout. She is quite the kitchen wizard. Heather also decides that she should invite the ladies to a painting party as she wants to show her gratitude for the “low-brow” Cajun get together at Vicki’s.
The new BFFs, Tamra and Gretchen are still exploring their relationship and decide that some common ground may be discovered in a sex toy shop. Tamra explains that Vicki wouldn’t do anything like this with her because Vicki is not raunchy at all. Both Tamra and Gretchen are fascinated by a “BJ helper”. It cuts the work in half and prevents wrinkles.
Heather is making preparations for her party at a painting studio and has hired a caterer who will make a carb-free menu. The art studio was chosen because Heather doesn’t really know these women and is not ready to open her home to them. Gretchen and Alexis are sharing a limo ride to the party and Alexis is still harping about Peggy and the whole Jim thing. It’s still Peggy’s fault that Jim didn’t tell Alexis about his past relationship. Gretchen is not so sure. Gretchen also tells Alexis about her mending fences with Tamra, including the gift of the keyed bracelet. Alexis is wary – I think – or jealous.
The whole group gathers at the art studio and Heather tells everyone that she and some friends want to open a restaurant because Orange County doesn’t have any good ones. Isn’t that just the slightest bit ironic? Let’s hope that her diners are not in the same habit of returning their food to the kitchen.
When Gretchen and Tamra start talking about their little shopping trip, Heather is offended and Vicki is doing a slow burn. Vicki, actually, turns into the Housewife from Hell and decides that everyone should face her wrath. When the art teacher arrives and is introduced by name – Timree – Vicki tells her that she doesn’t believe that that is her real name and wants to see her birth certificate. Heather says that Timree is her real name and Vicki laughingly says that the poor girl’s mother must have been drunk.
This party, like most of them, goes from bad to worse. Alexis is hanging all over Vicki, announcing that, now that Tamra and Gretchen are friendly, she and Vicki are, too. She also gets in a little dig about the bracelet. Heather is busily spouting off about her talents, including being an actress and a singer. She says that she was on the road for four years with a fourteen piece band and that they opened for Mel Torme and Manhattan Transfer. Alexis is taking credit for bringing Tamra and Gretchen together.
Dr. Terry arrives and tells the ladies about his day in surgery. When asked about which surgery he prefers to do, he starts to explain that he has a way of doing facelifts which leave no resulting visible signs. Alexis says that she doesn’t care because she knows all about the field and the procedures – and Peggy isn’t even there for the competition portion. Terry starts to tease his wife about their marriage and she is definitely not amused.
Brooks shows up to pick up Vicki. The women are charmed by his Southern accent, y’all. The charm doesn’t last long as the women begin to debate who has done the best painting. It’s Vicki versus Gretchen, but who really cares? They painted a shoe and a box, and all of them are taking them home to hang on their refrigerators. On the way out, Vicki hugs everyone but Tamra. Uh-oh.
Gretchen comes home to Slade making spaghetti. She decides to show him some things she saw on the internet about Brooks and his alimony and child support issues. Slade is offended that Vicki and Tamra trashed him over similar issues. He thinks Vicki is a hypocrite, and is not pleased that Gretchen is reaching out to Tamra given the things she said and did regarding his child support problems. He wants Gretchen’s loyalty. Love him or hate him, he’s got a point. Gretchen may have painted herself into a corner.
Empress
realhousewifeofaiken 
eGAD, Empress! Shark… meet Vicki. And the entire cast, it seems. I really enjoy(ed) your recap – I tried to watch this season’s debut and lasted maybe (20) minutes. I feel sorry for Alexis. Not sure why, I just do. I suspect Heather will be the next housewife to have her car repossessed. Or something.
To me, Tamra hijacked this show and became the anti-Jeana. I liked Jeana (as spacy as she was… who cares) and I really liked Lauri Waring. Tamra’s nastiness and jealousy and finger-pointing were just too much for me. I don’t dislike her for it; but I just don’t want to watch it. And this faux Gretchen/Tamra alliance to piss off Vicki is soooo done. It sounds so boring!
Maybe Bravo should do a children’s programming spinoff titled The Real 6th Graders of OC. B/c the last time I saw anyone behave like these women (myself included) was 6th grade. RHsve’s is a tired franchise on its last legs. I don’t think nyc is going to be any different, and I believe time will tell that Taylor… well, someone is bound to write a book about Taylor.
I must confess, this franchise has never held my interest and I have never watched an entire season! These women are drunken, uneducated, materialistic, oversexed teenagers – and as hard as I try, they just make it way to easy to change the channel. That said, Heather will either crash and burn on her own (rejected by all) or choose the wrong team and IMO, she just isn’t interested in juvenile fighting.
The only things I am curious about are Slade vs Vicki over the deadbeat dad issue and if Gretchen and Tamara are going to go after Vicki.
This show is just so awful and not in the fun way.
Aging Slade whining about Vicki/Brooks. Yep she is a hypocrite but she did NOT lie about Slade!
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/05/real-housewives-orange-county-gretchen-rossi-jo-de-la-rosa-slade-smiley-deadbeat
Vicki, Tamra, Gretchen and Alexis are starting to resemble foam pupptes of themselves. Just grostesque use of fillers. When are facelifts coming back into style?
Hi Empress……..how are things in your Empire today? The sun has finally appeared in the Pacific Northwest sky and that makes me a happy camper and gives me a little energy boost as well.
Great recap as usual in your unique and thoroughly enjoyable to read writing style. Do you recall the “etiquette” classes little Tammy was taking? Perhaps they didn’t cover appropriate subjects for discussion when one is out to dinner with friends at a fine dining establishment. Bringing up the subject of favorite body parts makes clear that she’s not capable of rising above her status as bonafide trailer trash. No offense to anyone who lives in a trailer; I lived in my friends old double-wide for awhile and loved it. She just happens to fit the stereotype.
When she first came on the scene I found her humorous. I enjoy spending time with women who aren’t afraid to get raunchy, laugh and have a good time. But Tammy appears to be a one-trick pony, one dimensional, uneducated, unsophisticated and therefore, a bore. The minute she became antagonistic towards Jeana and came between her and Vicki I began to dislike her and the more I saw of her the more I disliked her.
I think V5 is correct; this is a tired old franchise whose days are numbered.
One more thing though. You wondered if Heather’s husband, the good doctor at least tips generously to compensate for his wife being a PITA. In my many years experience in the restaurant/hotel business doctors were some of the worst tippers for some reason.
I am starting to think that Tamra’s ex, Simon, was doing his level best to save her from herself. She embarrasses herself at every turn and I hope that her children never see her on camera. (good luck with that, right?)
As for the Empire, well, let’s just say that I will be glad to see February end. Things around here sound like the chorus of a Country-Western song. My beautiful pickup truck is now repaired and waiting to be picked up from the auto body shop. My (very old) computer finally lapsed into a coma, meaning go buy a new one. Our two geldings are experiencing Spring fever and have knocked out about 30 feet of fence boards in a battle over the mare. Finally, yesterday, our younger dog required a trip to the vet and has a raging ear infection. He is on enough meds to qualify him for Medicaid. That means I have moved into the guestroom with him so that at least hubby gets some sleep.
If I can find a way to put all of this to music, I might be able to recover some of the $$$ that went out the door this month. The upside is that the only snoring I hear comes from the dog. 🙂
You definitely have the makings for a great CW song. Never a dull moment down on the farm. I hope your baby gets better soon. Poor thing.
Thank goodness you have a sense of humor to see you through all these troubles! I hope things improve in all areas for you soon, meanwhile keep working on the CW song. It shas to be a winner!
I am a firm believer in the adage “Man plans, God laughs”. I’ve decided that laughing along with Him can’t hurt.
🙂
WOW Graysons medical bills are now over a million $$$. What state is he in? Would he qualify for Obamba Care? This is terrible, people go bankrupt over medical bills. The way we treat our children and elderly is an indicator of what this country has become.
I’m not watching this show, I will catch re-runs and read blogs. I’m doing this so Bravo can’t pull in the mega bucks from advertizers, and will continue this path until they show some respect to the viewer. Atlanta, Bethenny & Top Chef are on my DVDR (I like to finish what I start)
Go Donna! Go Donna! I think you might appreciate my post for Thursday.
🙂
I will refrain myself from talking about my political beliefs, I do follow the Occupy Movement among others on facebook. Because I read/hear about the horrible things that are being done, I turn to tv to be entertained. I expect to be able to laugh. When tv turns dark (even cartoons are somewhat dark). It is now time for me to take control of my remote and watch programs that make me smile and forget the reality of what is going on around me. I used to listen to radio all day. I can’t find a radio that is loud enough, I’m hearing impaired, with the exception of my vehicles.