I have been to a number of blogs in the past few years on myriad topics. I follow blogs about cooking and gardening, horses and dogs. I have gotten advice about how to fix a broken drain pipe and how to make the best home made hoof oil. Some very kind folks instructed me as to how to adjust the pH level of my soil to change the color of my hydrangeas and others directed me to a nursery in Montreal where I could find lilacs that would survive in the South. I also follow blogs about reality television, particularly the Real Housewives. Who knew what little miracles could be found amid the snark.
I first began following LynnNChicago when, like most of us, it seemed that Bravo was no longer interested in what we, the viewers, had to say. Our comments were removed or reworded to appear more flattering to this bunch of pseudo-celebrities. It was insulting and maddening. I didn’t post many comments at first, but rather participated in what many refer to as lurking. I read the blog every day and began to find that I was not the only one who wanted to express frustration with the nastiness, arrogance and, all too often, sheer idiocy of these women.
I also began to realize that many of the men and women who posted their comments were funny, intelligent, thoughtful and truly kind – wrap that with a dose of sarcasm and you have a winning combination. It became the first thing I read when my morning chores were done and I could enjoy a cup of coffee for an hour of so. When I did begin to comment, I found that there was a rhythm to it, depending on the antics and nonsense we had seen on the previous night’s episode of whatever Bravo show had been on.
That is not to say that blogs don’t have their share of heated debates, which sometimes turn into all out wars. Some people are hurt or angered or even disgusted, and respond in kind. Most of the time we bark and sometimes we bite. A few will abandon a blog for these and other reasons, and never return. Some will come back after a cooling off period. It sounds just like how people act, and just like how life can go.
I also found that there were some folks whose comments and tone resonated just a little more for me. These men and women reside all over this country and some just over our border. We went from just being screen names on a blog to something even better. We catch up and check up on each other when someone’s absence is noticed. I often worried that, should these people actually meet me, they might be disappointed as I would not be what or how I appear given only the written word. I don’t feel that way anymore. We are neighbors, sharing our morning coffee, despite the miles that separate us. The even better part is that we became friends.
We confess the dumb things we have done and do our level best not to judge. We share very personal, and sometimes, very painful aspects of our lives. The responses are usually kind, supportive and forgiving. When life seems to be about to crush us with obstacles, someone is there to reassure us that these times are brief, and we will go one. More often than not, we share a lot of laughs – sometimes directed at the Housewives, sometimes directed at each other.
The (mostly) women that I communicate with at this level can be counted on one hand, but having one full hand is a gift these days. We all know and care about a certain woman who lives in the Sunshine State. She is one of the miracles I’m talking about. The past few weeks have been very, very difficult for her. Life has thrown things in her direction that would leave many of us on our knees. Over the months, more than a few tears have been shed between us, as both of us know and have had similar life experiences. We can call each other out when one has really messed up. It is dealt with and no one holds any grudges. We make each other laugh, as well. I don’t mean to diminish the role of the others who I hold in that handful as well as in my heart, and I know that they understand.
I just wanted to let all of you know that, although the celebs feel that we are unduly harsh or critical towards them, on the other side of that coin are real people who come from places of vast experiences, too. The celebs don’t understand that we all see things differently, maybe more clearly than they sometimes do. They don’t realize that when we question their actions and words, we are not simply being “haters”. When I write this blog, I try to think about some of the people who have brought their own stories of courage and challenges. They have risen up, over and over, and make no excuses. When I have asked for advice or clarification, they have responded. A good number have allowed me to see that my opinions are not always completely valid. I have learned a great deal. For this I tip my hat and offer my gratitude to them, and to you. I will write my posts keeping all of you in mind, and hope that I meet your expectations. I owe you that much.
Good morning Empress & everyone. Wish we had sunshine here in central NJ, but as long as it isn’t actually raining or even worse, snowing (had enough to last a lifetime, thank you!) it’s okay.
Empress you are a very thoughtful, kind and good person. Thank you for blogging, it brings some pleasure into my life to read your blog & the viewpoints of the various & sundry posters that stop by.
Shout out to our Sunshine state diva, big hugs to you!
Did anyone watch Revenge last night?
Thanks for your comments. I enjoy reading everyone’s comments as much as I enjoy writing the posts.
REVENGE!!! OMG – now we have to wait two weeks! What could be more important for ABC to air than this show? Methinks that our little Ashley is knee deep in this plot. What twists and turns.
Together the voices of the blog make a wonderful song of friendship, learning and belonging. Empress, you value others’ thoughts and opinions and have the ability to change your mind and that helps everyone to be more open minded as well. Thank you for giving us another place to share our thoughts and lives – with or without coffee!
Thanks! I also serve tea…
Oh dear, just checked the last blog & read about Diva & Mr. Ford losing Bubba. Very hard to lose your dearest companion, may he rest in peace.
Empress – terrific post… thank you. Of course, I adore the part about our Florida friend, whom I’ve spent many hours on the phone with, and whose brother I went to camp with, as a kid. Weird! She is an awesome, fearless, hysterically funny lady who is empathetic enough to see both sides of any story, including her own.
The whole blog thing can get testy, of course – but the most amusing thing about it is how sensitive people are. Meaning: everyone (including myself) will rant about some reality star not living up to our expectations of behavior, and meanwhile… we’re all exhibiting the same; we prove ourselves as thin-skinned and full of it as those we criticize. Classic. And yes, animals don’t have this problem… then again, my tabby cat tries to usurp the tuxedo’s position, and frequently exhibits extreme bouts of pettiness. One cannot win, can one…
I’m hoping that my skin is thick enough to withstand anything with the exception of, perhaps, one of you telling me “We’re Done! We Can Never Be Friends!”
Thank you Empress for the thoughtful commentary about our little bubble in the universe. I hope every one of us has a serene and humor filled day.
(Also thinking of our fallen friends, of the 2 and 4 legged variety. God’s Speed to All).
Revenge was so good….but now we have new twists & turns to wonder about! So faux Amanda jumps into the Japanese guy’s really cool car. Should we fear for her? What about Jack, he’s last seen scurrying away from the body on the beach, while his own brother yells at him. I’m so relieved that Daniel didn’t get killed, but he will be charged with Tyler’s murder. Glad Tyler is gone, but who shot him? The Japanese guy? And so it goes. Isn’t it fun to watch Charlotte! Great show, it’s going to hard to wait 2 weeks for the next episode.
Tonight is the “lost footage” RHOBH episode. Did anyone catch Taylor on Wendy today? She is getting very good at delivering her story. Wendy asked the tough questions like “didn’t you go for Russell despite the abuse because of his money” etc. Best moment is when Wendy quoted the “my husband is richer than Texas” line. Wow Taylor’s voice cracked when she replied “did I really say that?”
I still think that David Clarke is alive and running the whole thing from somewhere safe.
Thanks for the headsup about Taylor and Wendy. We don’t get Wendy’s show until very late at night. I will try to stay (somewhat) awake to see it.
Hi bsk – ooooooo re-Ven8e. Soooo delicious. ^ ^ I, too, think David is running the whole thing. Also (*spoilers*) Diva thinks (and I agree) that Nolan and Emily are half brother and sister. Yay!
I can’t watch Taylor on her interview(s). She reminds me of a very, very old friend of mine who is a liar and a sociopath. And I don’t use those words lightly. The older (this friend)
got, the meaner and nastier she got, and the more she believed her lies. To me, it’s incredible how similar the body language, facial expressions, even the way they breathe is the same! Sooooooo creepy. It’s not going to end well for Taylor. It really won’t.
Very nice of you to blog your thoughts about “blogs.” I could not have said it better myself. May Bubba rest in peace and may Diva and Mr. Ford find peace.
Revenge is Awsome. There are so many possibilities, that I don’t even try to guess who might be up to what. I’m just enjoying the ride.
I am mostly a “lurker” but sometimes enough is enough! I admire your willingness to keep an open mind and even change your view. You present the stories in a non-judgemental way with a dash of humor. You have filled a niche. I think V5 pointed out a tricky truth about many posters. “It’s ironically ironic” according to Phaedra.
Hey kittycat. Isn’t Empress wonderful?
ITA Cat and V5.Very well done blog going on here!
Good morning Empress…..yes, it’s still morning here for another 5 minutes. At noon today here in the rainy Canadian Pacific Northwest I’ll be watching the RHOBH episode of the opening of Sur. It’s always fun to finally see what you all have been discussing for many weeks by the time I get to see it.
Great blog today Empress. I love coming here daily and I too am so grateful to have found this online oasis and I’m honored to count you and Diva among my very dear new friends. I do hope that she and Mr. Ford got some well needed and deserved rest. I must go now to watch the show. Be back later. Ah, Ken was just giving Lisa a big hug and kiss. So cute those two.
every time i try to post I start to cry..will try again tomorrow….this POST has touched me DEEPLY..
Hugs to all
The least I could do – oh, and email you some tissue. Hugs, friend.
Well..2:30 a.m. and i am wide ass awake,,, again..
So I thought you all would like some tunes for when you early birds get here…
After all it’s FLASHBACK FRIDAY…
A song for ALL of you and for ALL OF US to send to others….
Hugs Peace & Love