The third part of this reunion was, for the most part, unnecessary. Part of it served to give Taylor another opportunity to talk about her allegations regarding her husband, some of which are from her book. I am including a link from a blogger who wrote a thoughtful and honest perspective about it: http://bravotvlover.wordpress.com/2012/02/09/hiding-from-reality-taylor-armstrong-book-review/ .
We were made to sit through a brief visit from Dana, who continued her quest to become the fourth Richards sister. She blamed all of the drama of game night on Brandi, and said that she was harboring some ill will against Brandi for saying that Pam’s fiance cheated on her. Dana is unapologetic about her name dropping and need to tell us the prices of everything she owns and wears. Then she decided to give us her rags to riches story as a way of explaining why she acts the way she does. She told us that she had grown up poor until her mother died. At that point, she moved from Massachusetts to New York City to live with her father.
She says that she worked very hard to get through college, build a business and accumulate her wealth. If all of that is true, then she has a reason to be proud, not prideful Dana, proud. I don’t think, however, that her light-hearted, “I’m just being me” quite covers it. A little advice, Dana – there is a woman who can show you how you can come from the worst of childhoods, overcome a life of real poverty and discrimination, build a business from scratch and still comport yourself with dignity and respect. Talk to Oprah.
The House Husbands were given their time on the couch and there was very little to be gathered from their visit. In short, Ken would rather talk to his wife than a therapist. Mauricio is hot. Paul is not as hot as Mauricio and thinks that Taylor should eat something. Kim has not apologized to Mauricio. We saw Mauricio’s ass.
Andy then sat down for a one on one interview with Kim Richards who had left rehab one day after the Reunion was filmed. You can draw your own conclusions. She told Andy that she is an alcoholic, that’s all, she says she drinks. She drinks because she has guilt and shame, and then drinks more to mask the guilt and shame. She told Andy that she hadn’t seen any of the Housewives’ episodes since she entered rehab. Andy asked her permission to show some clips to her, a clear violation of the Geneva Convention. After a few seconds she said that she had seen enough and didn’t even know who that woman was.
Andy asked her if she felt that she owed Brandi an apology, and this was where she lost me. Her response was that, yes, she owed Brandi an apology for hiding her crutches. However, Brandi owes her an apology for ruining her family’s life and causing them so much pain. It really doesn’t matter, because Kim said that she will never forget what Brandi did to her, neither will she forgive her. I guess that speaks volumes. I think some of you know how important that statement really is.
Kyle joined her sister and Andy and there are very obvious, deep-seated and ongoing problems between these two women. Kyle is very confused and disturbed in her own way. While she said that she was glad that Kim appeared on the Housewives, she then said that it was so painful because it exposed not only Kim’s addiction, but a lot of very private family matters. That was about as convoluted as anything I have ever heard from Kyle.
Both of them talked about what they called the vicious cycle of anger and resentment between them. Kim said that she often doesn’t know what Kyle is angry about because her alcoholism left her with little or no memory of what she had done. Then she gets mad at Kyle for being mad at her, and so it goes – rinse and repeat. Kyle, on the other hand, was more than ready to bring up each and every incident as to how Kim has hurt her. She listed the disastrous Hawaii trip, Kim’s pregnancy scare, Kim’s relationship with Ken and other grievances for which she still feels Kim must atone. Kyle wants to be right and wants to be in control. The problem is that she has a sister who’s not buying it.
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but I really think that Kyle needs to work on herself before she takes on any new projects. She has to find someone to help her understand herself and the family’s dynamics before she is any position to help anyone else. I’m sure that, right now, she sees herself as a success, with a happy family, nice home and enviable lifestyle.
I’m not going to even pretend that I know the first thing about dealing with a family member with an addiction. I’m pretty sure that it doesn’t make it easy for anyone to watch a loved one fall into the abyss of alcohol and/or drug problems. So I have some questions for you because I know that some of you have had much more personal or professional experience on this topic. I would like your thoughts as to how these women should be going forward. I know that you have voiced your opinions and expertise before, and I would like to hear how you viewed the looks, voices and general demeanor between these sisters. I have some ideas about the dynamic of sisters but I will wait and listen to you on the other stuff.
Good morning Empress,
ITA. The 3rd installment was totally unnecessary. Bringing on the guys was just filler. I think Dana deserved a chance to talk and sitting in the green room for 6 hours or so waiting is probably why she was so all over the place. I do think she gave us a good clue to psyche and that was that she wants to be included (at any price). It did humanize her for me and made me feel a little bit bad for her.
Kim is certainly still carrying a crapload of resentment. This will derail her recovery if she can’t find a way to work through it. She also appeared to be pretty medicated. I don’t think Kyle is good for her right now.
Kyle is also carrying a ton of resentment too which she either needs to work on or cut her sister out of her life for awhile. Kyle seems to yoyo between walking on eggshells and taking Kim’s inventory for her. Neither are good for Kim’s recovery or Kyle’s happiness.
Kim should not come back next season as a regular member of the cast.
I think this “royalty of Hollywood” obviously has a pretty sick history and there is no need to work on this on camera. Frankly, I don’t want to watch.
I love reading your blog! I’m nowhere near as articulate as you or your readers so I will often lurk instead of commenting. Part III was a dud for me. I do wish Kim the best in her recovery and hope that she will go to AA meetings everyday. Hopefully their focus will be on the step of forgiveness when she attends. My sister finished her second rehab 10 months ago and has faithfully gone to AA everyday. Her first rehab was at Betty Ford and she thought she could skip AA meetings since she had nothing in common with those people…she realizes how ridiculous that sounds now.
Hey Michelle, 🙂
We don’t give grades for grammar or spelling, just want to hear your POV. I think Andy could have covered the Kim and Kyle show during a WWHL segment. The rest of this episode seemed like filler leading up to the sit down.
I haven’t watched the last 2 installments of the reunion. Too painful and not entertaining.
Kyle is just as damaged as Kim, she just doesn’t drug herself. Kyle is a codependent meaning she is addicted to unbalanced people. She wants to protect and repair them. Kim withdrew from Kyle so she has taken up Taylor.
Fortunately, I missed the updated installment of Taylor’s Secret Holocaust.
RHBH Reunion Part Three was a disjointed mess that didn’t do anything to make viewers want another season! I question Bravo’s motives for airing that interview with Kim because clearly she is not healthy.
Kim’s “problems” started in her teens (drugs and alcohol) and have continued throughout her life – her family has gone to great lengths to keep her behavior out of the public eye. IMO, she hates Kyle because Kyle interfers with Kim’s goal of a wasted life. Kim belongs in a long term care facility because alcohol is the tip of her issue iceberg.
Adgirl and wcw1,
I appreciate your comments because I have had similar thoughts about Kim and Kyle. I think they are both carrying about 30 years worth of baggage that needs to be unpacked and put away. Also, they both seemed overly optimistic about Kim’s recovery after such a very short time in rehab.
I have a question, I hope someone can answer. I was under the impression when you have an addiction whether alcohol or drugs, isn’t it customary to never prescribe any drugs to them for fear of relapse? Trading 1 drug for another? With everything going on with Whitney Houston, it seems negligent and dangerous to me if someone is an addict to prescribe anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications to them. Kim mentioned to Paul the multiple prescriptions she was taking, Whitney was taking them as well. Is this wrong or standard procedure?
I think it depends on the treatment center. My sister’s first go round at rehab was at Betty Ford for 30 days and she relapsed within 6 months. Her 2nd stay was at The Watershed in Fla for 30 days and then soberliving for another 30 days. She has been sober since March 2011. She does bit take any meds and will only take OTC cold meds for children if she is sick.
One med that puzzled me that Kim was taking is Topomax. This is an anti-seizure med but also is used as a migraine preventative. My Nuerologist gave this to me for my migraines and I was a zombie on it. It didn’t help with my migraines so I tapered off of it as quickly as I could.
* she doesn’t take any meds
A doctor/treatment facility can do just so much – if the patient doesn’t follow the correct dosing or mixes it with alcohol (Kim did both) then the mess that ended Whitney’s life seems a predictable outcome. Kim should be in a long term care facility so that all aspects of her addictive and mental issues are being addressed in a controlled setting.
I have been through Family Week at Betty Ford a few years ago with an ex-husband. The week is filled with education about addiction and the effects on everyone. At one point there is a group therapy session with the spouses and significant others. The two of you sit in chairs facing one another in a circle of strangers and talk about how the person affected your life. I remember giving an honest account of real hurts and just plain bad behavior that I had endured. I cried so hard during the experience that a few came up to me afterwards offering support. The goal was to give the alcoholic an opportunity to hear loud and clear while sober how they had damn near destroyed a loved ones life. It was done to give the loved one a safe place to express all of their frustration and pain. The addict was then supposed to acknowledge and apologize for said behavior. No one left dry-eyed.
Over a period of time my resentment and frustration grew to the point I wanted to hurt the person back so they could feel a semblance of my pain. Everything I experienced was psychological and not physical but it was brutal. I read numerous books on alcoholism and codependency as well as attended meetings. You will be blamed for every miserable thing the person does. Even armed with knowlege you will experience guilt. The guilt is soul robbing. No matter what, I still felt somehow responsible.
It’s disturbing to see all of the “advice” directed at Kyle especially from persons who have no idea what it’s like. Her immaturity aside, to judge someone so harshly about a personal issue that was captured on TV is bothersome. You don’t just go to therapy and “Get Well” like many have indicated. After living in hell for awhile, believe me I would have screamed from the rooftop that “whoever” was an alcoholic. You can’t know the level of resentment that occurs. Most interactions with the alcoholic is CRAZYMAKING on a regular basis. Unrelenting lies abound.
I was married for 2 and 1/2 years. Before he was d/c’d from Betty Ford Clinic I told his counselor that my ex had already told me that if he started drinking again when he got home it would be my fault. I asked that he stay longer and ex refused and did the standard 30 days. He started drinking 3 weeks after being home. I moved out. We divorced and one year later at the age of 47 he was dead from cirrhosis. He had wealth, intelligence and a great sense of humor and still drank himself to death.
Andy initiated the question to Kyle how Kim’s behavior had affected her and yea she mentioned a few “mild things” and had every right to do so. Part of the process is to get the alcoholic to take ownership of behavior and learn to deal with “Feelings” without the crutch of escape from drugs or alcohol. It’s about personal accountability which is absent in an addict.
You will learn that sympathy is a wasted and useless emotion to have toward the addict. It helps no one. For strangers to place blame where is does not lie is misguided and cruel.
People can’t possibly know the “power of addiction” unless you have been there and experienced it.
I know this is too long but it brought up old memories. It probably took me about 2 years to learn and grow from this experience. I am happily married now minus addiction.
May God be with all of you affected.
Thank you for all you said as that took courage and compassion on your part.
There is no one size fits all solution and it has always bothered me that people think that Kyle could fix Kim! IMO, Kim has hurt Kyle much more than Kyle has ever hurt Kim.
I, for one, am deeply moved by your ordeal, while also feeling that I have a much better understanding of the hell that loved one’s experience. I have been a critic of Kyle’s, in part because I think she could also use some self-awareness and better resources for trying to understand the addictive personality. I also will admit that some of my criticism was the result, as I stated above, came from a woeful ignorance. You have taught me a great deal – Thank you. It is also good to know that you have found a new life demon-free.
Oh! Thank-you for the kind words. It’s kind of funny but I had read a few other blogs and so many kept saying what a horrible person Kyle was to let her sis participate in RHW’s, to dare point out Kim’s bad behavior, she’s an enabler and on and on. It finally dawned on me that the very thing peeps accused Kyle of were the very thing they were doing themselves-enabling Kim by blaming someone else for Kims’s choices and behavior. I almost laughed about it when realizing how even “Perfect strangers” were engaging in the very thing they hated in Kyle. It just goes to show how willing people are to give addicts a pass “Because they were not in control of themselves” and place blame elsewhere. After a period of time from constantly being blamed by the addict begins to take it’s toll and you kind of start to believe it partially. Interacting with these incredibly talented individuals at manipulating others is treacherous because you get a little SICK too. Addicts will do and say damn near anything to keep their addiction alive and if you are the price so be it. I could go on and on because it’s about as close to the devil as I ever want to be. Once you are in their orbit you too can become lost in their dysfunction. For any addict there are only 2 ultimate outcomes:Live or Die.
By the way-so thankful for your service to us all.
Cat, Thanks for your post. I am the former wife of an addict (meth). I learned a lot from my experience. Mostly that the only person I am respondsible for is myself.
Personally, I see Kyle as an extreme codependent. She appears to have expanded her addiction to include Taylor.
Kim is not sincere in her recovery. To her it is Brandi, Mauricio, Disney. and most especially Kyle’s fault that Kim is an drunk (and addict).
Kyle is not resondsible for anyone’s mental health except for her own.
Adgirl, I get exactly what you are saying because Kyle most definitely is behaving codependent. She is trying to rescue 2 “Sick” women bent on self-destruction. I read the book “Codependent No More” several times and passed it along to friends. I had taken on the role of a rescuer to my ex and became so entwined in his disease that it started to take me down as well.
In the above posts I meant to convey something else noteworthy learned during Family Week. It was that we on the other side needed to keep firmly in mind that our loved ones had become a disease in and of itself. They reminded us that our communication was not normal because the addict was ever present instead of the person we loved. They stated that it takes about a year before your mind unfogs completely from alcohol.
When I heard Kim unwilling to take personal responsibility for some wrongs mentioned it made me sad. When my ex was d/c’d from BF he was not at a point where he could own his past behavior. I knew he needed more time but could not force him nor could the counselors. Another heartbreaking, senseless ending to those that loved him. I thought I could save him. It was a painful lesson to learn.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I agree with you completely. Well said.
Thank you for this post. It was very insightful. I was surprised that Kyle was even in the segment with Kim. I guess after reading your post I can see her motives now – to make Kim aware of how her behavior affected Kyle – but she was in a lose lose situation on that front. Kim does not seem ready to accept her own behavior – and Kyle came off as petty and mean- especially after her behavior in the other part of the reunion.