The Real Housewives of Orange County

Bravo has been showing reruns of “The Real Housewives of Orange County” for a few days now.  As I didn’t start watching this franchise until Season 3, at first I found it interesting.  Then it became a little annoying, like when you’ve got the theme song from Disney’s “It’s a Small World” stuck in your head.  After a couple of days it just turned into something like waterboarding.  I was ready to tell Bravo that yes, it was me on the grassy knoll.  I should be grateful for small favors, however – at least it wasn’t a weekend of “Millionaire Matchmaker”.

I did learn a few things, though.  I met people like Quinn, Jo and Laurie.  I also noticed that Slade has had his very own storyline through the years.  I am now giving Slade the edge over Simon Van Kampen as the man most driven to be a Housewife.  I only bestow this dubious honor because I never thought that Simon wanted to seduce or bed down with Luann or Jill.  Slade has covered more territory at Coto de Caza than the landscaping company.  Coto de Caza, by the way, means “game preserve” in Spanish, and the original plans included a hunting lodge – insert your own jokes here.

Tonight we meet Heather Dubrow, aka Heather Paige Kent, who tells everyone that she is an actress.  She is.  Really.  I looked her up and she does have a number of roles to her name.  I didn’t recognize many of them, with the exception of a short-lived TV series called “That’s Life” and that’s only because it starred Paul Sorvino and Ellen Burstyn.  Her husband is a plastic surgeon, Terry Dubrow and he is a reality show veteran.  His television biography lists him as having appeared on “The Swan” and “Bridalplasty”.   This has to be a West Coast phenomenon because I’ve seen a lot of doctors in my life and none of them have been regulars on TV shows.

Gretchen and Tamra go to lunch, despite Slade’s objections, in an attempt to resolve their issues.  It seems to go fairly well and Tamra gives Gretchen a bracelet which is supposed to lock up their past or unlock their future or something.  What both of them are most worried about is how Vicki is take the news of their reconciliation. Frankly, they’re just afraid of Vicki.

Vicki is selling the family home and Donn is still living there.  She says she’s okay with that because she needs his paycheck.  Apparently he wants hers, too, in the form of spousal support.  Tamra shares her divorce stories with Vicki at another lunch, this time at Vicki’s office, because we know that Vicki works very, very hard and can’t leave work until the middle of the night.  It is very sad to hear how both of their husbands ran off with younger women.   I didn’t remember it that way, but it has been a while since we saw what really happened, so I guess a little revisionist history between friends is alright.  She does tell us that her new boyfriend, Brooks, fills her love tank but, then again, Brooks lives in Tupelo, Mississippi, so maybe it doesn’t need filling very often.

Tamra is showing a building lot or two to the new Housewife, Heather.  That is such a coincidence.  Tamra asks Heather to meet her for coffee and, well, so far so good.  Tamra invites Heather to a party that Vicki is throwing because she and Vicki are like sisters.  I’m not sure, but I don’t think I’d say that out loud.  Given the kitchen conversation between Tamra and Peggy about Jim, I think that Tamra’s invitation is just another way to torture Alexis.

Speaking of Alexis, she is doing live commentary one day a week for the local Fox station.  She’s getting ready, and it all very difficult.  She is trying to run her home and fashion business and take care of her family and now this.  I don’t know how she does it.  Oh, and yes, she has to wake Jim up so that he can get the kids ready for school, but she forgot to set his alarm and doesn’t know her new home phone number, so she can’t reach him.  Good thing she has an assistant to drive her around.

We get to see her at work during a segment for National Booty Awareness Month.  Why don’t I know about these things?  Is this a holiday?  Will the mail be delivered?  Anyway, she is supposed to appear with Dr. Booty.  Alexis says he is very educated in derrieres.  Who am I to question credentials like that?  The good doctor has categorized booties according to his favorite fruits – the pear, the lemon, the apple and the cherry.  It is a veritable badonkadonk salad.

Alexis is very proud of herself and believes that the sky’s the limit as far as her career opportunities, even announcing the possibility of going into space or becoming the next Katie Couric.  Alexis, honey, Katie interviews women who run countries.  There’s that whole “I feel safer with a man running the country” thing that might give you pause.  From what we saw, she really should think long and hard about that journalism career. Maybe, in a while, she could raise her sights a little higher – like interviewing someone who is very educated in breasts and has categorized them within some other food group.

There are a couple of different conversations going on about that dreamboat, Jim Bellino.  Tamra is pressing Peggy for dirty details about Jim, and Alexis is telling Gretchen that everything that has ever gone wrong in her life is because Peggy is still lusting after Jim.  Jim isn’t going to be on camera very much this season, if at all.  He says that he doesn’t like the other women.   He may not like the Housewives or cameras, but that doesn’t mean he’s gone.  Jim has started a blog called “getting REAL weekly”and you can find it on Alexis’ Facebook page.

Watch What Happens Live

Taylor Armstrong and Gretchen Rossi were guests.  Gretchen looked nice. That’s all I’ve got.


This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

33 Responses to The Real Housewives of Orange County

  1. Viewer 5 says:

    Hi Empress – Loved your recap. I got as far as the new gal looking at property, lost interest, and deleted series recording on DVR; but I will keep reading your recaps. So funny! Really enjoy them. ‘Apparently (Donn) wants (Vicki’s paycheck) too.’ Hysterical. I dunno. Vicki’s house looks like ca.2004 Boca Raton. Eeesch. She should sell furnished.

    I only got fifteen minutes into WWHL. Couldn’t watch anymore. Gretchen’s fellow guest is toast. I can feel it, you can feel it, and so can she. Maybe that’s why she was so fricken’ drunk and high. Bravotv and Gallery Books will simply let her drift away. Their contractual obligations are done.

    Have a great day, and thanks for your lovely perspective on things. It really *is* a view from the back of a horse. Calm, collected, and fun.

  2. Good morning Empress. I didn’t watch OC. Bravo only showed it once, and it competed against Dance Moms. That’s right – I’d rather watch Abby Lee Miller get a massage than the women of OC. I did catch WWHL and will say that Taylor has her answers down pat. The only thing that surprised me was that she was on Team Lisa for Lisa versus Adrienne. I suppose Adrienne has now been set adrift after her feeble attempt to take down Lisa. I may be the only person in the universe that feels sorry for Adrienne, but she’s a kitten fighting with a tiger when it comes to Lisa. It’s obvious Lisa knew about the plan to attack her (Brandi all but told us she told her) and spun it around to get sympathy. She’s fairly brilliant, and Adrienne was left looking like a sputtering fool.

    • klmh says:

      I loved it when Andy asked Taylor about the fling with one of the ladies on OC, the one that is a lesbian, Roco ?sp. Then Gretchen came out and said, well it wasn’t in just the tabloids, she said it happened. Taylor’s face was, poor me, more lies. Just loved it when she was called out on it.

      • That was pretty funny actually. But I think Fernanda gave an interview to Lynn’s blogger Michael where she said it didn’t happen – one of his earlier blogs – so who knows.

        • klmh says:

          Oh, I hadn’t seen that. Tx.
          I wonder why Fernando would want to do that to Taylor if it wasn’t what happened?

        • klmh says:

          The last information I could find from Fernanda was that she did have a fling with Taylor, and the date of that article was 12-31-11.
          Couldn’t find M.M. article though.

  3. Designdiva says:

    Good morning all…. I watched in re run..RINGER for me at Nine..Coto takes a back seat…
    I will give it a few more tries before I decide….When the screaming starts…CLICK….
    WWHL…. what can I say… taylor was high MY OPINION…. and grew some jersay balls…hope brandi rips her a new one….Fernanda did a story to reality tea about the “fling” …Fernanda says it’s true and taylor hurt her feelings…..what’s new in that department….
    Bravo/Andy I think allows taylor to be seen on WWHL so the resentment of her will great and people will complain to 30 rock and it will then make bravo’s job easier to say… gone….
    Loved when Andy said to taylor after she said that she had started her own 501c for people to donate money to the “cause” and she will donate also..Andy says something along the lines of her also needing money in her pockets….. will need to rewatch to hear his exact words..
    Andy left me with the INNER feeling he does not care for taylor……. could it be ?? Andy’s wonky eye have seen the light…… AAAHHHHHH
    Also…no way no way no way no way…did taylor have an orbital blow out…when she looked straight in the camera last night and FULLY opened BOTH HER EYES in amazement at something that was said..that sealed it for me…. After this type of surgery..the eyes are never equal again… the supporting muscles are damaged and the implant/support does not work/ react like a real eye muscle etc….. SHE IS A LIAR……

    In closing…. i wanted to say to all who extended a warm and heartfelt word of comfort and support to me and in private….. THANK YOU…. It did my soul and INNERS a world of good… stove is clean…wink
    Hugs and Peace

    • Adgirl says:

      Hi Diva, I can’t remember which site I saw this on but someone posted that they were in line behind Taylor at the airport. Taylor just flew through the TSA line and metal detector without saying anything or any producing paperwork about her metal face plate. How about that??
      Shocking. I know.

      • Designdiva says:

        Adgirl… IF she has a titanium mesh would not set off the alarms at the TSA area…. MAYBE ?? if they hand scanned her face with the wand it would…My wires that hold me shattered cheeks together do not even register.. I did however have to have an open MRI for my spine….

    • Diva,
      I had WWHL playing in the background while I wrote my OC post – like white noise. After seeing Taylor on the Today show (thank you for the clip) and on The View, I pretty much know how she’s going to roll. It’s kind of like all of the political debates that we have had to suffer through – same s**t, different day.
      Glad to hear your appliances are looking better. 🙂

  4. Designdiva says:

    *** OOPS>.. the wires that hold my shattered cheeks ***
    Need more java LOL

    sounded irish there for a shattered cheeks…hahahaha

  5. Adgirl says:

    Hi Empress, thanks for your blog.
    Booty Awareness Month maybe a local event. There are just so many asses in Southern California. Ha. Everyday is Boob Awareness Day in OC. In fact I’m pretty sure the silicon sack is the regional emblem. That and a foreclosure notice. Ha. Ha.

    That is funny about Cota de Caza meaning “Game Preserve”. Many of the local names are derivities of Spanish or Missionary settler activities. For example there is a place called Trabuco Canyon. So named after the gun (trabuco) that some idiot lost there. Many search parties where launched to locate it. I don’t think it was found so the trabuco is still buried under some giant tract house in a masterplan community.

  6. Designdiva says:

    Every time I see the intro for OC and the gates…I hum this song…. GOOD SHOW ALSO

  7. klmh says:

    Design Diva,

    I found this and thought you might be interested:

    Treatment for an orbital fracture:
    Small fracture without globe displacement or tissue entrapment may not need surgical repair. Treatment for an orbital fracture is based on several factors that include the patient’s age, general health, extent and severity of other injuries, location and extent of the fracture. If there is significant displacement of the eye or entrapment of one of the extra ocular muscles, then surgery is carried out at the earliest opportunity (within 2 weeks of injury). This helps to reduce the long-term complications of orbital floor fractures. An implant (Silicone, medpore sheet and medpore coated titanium mesh) is used to repair the orbital defect after freeing up all the trapped tissues. This allows the orbital volume to be restored. There little or no scarring from the surgery.

    Preoperative assessment & risks of surgery
    Before surgery, patient’s general health is fully assessed. This includes several bloods tests and possibly and ECG. Risks, benefits, and alternatives are explained clearly and documented. The patient is made aware of the possibility of persistent, worsening, or new-onset diplopia, hypesthesia, and enophthalmos and of the risk of visual loss secondary to the procedure.
    Patient’s visual acuity, degree of enophthalmos, pupillary and extraocular muscle function, and the amount of diplopia in all fields of gaze are documented.

    Post-operative care
    A pressure dressing is placed on the eye following surgery and remains in place for 12 to 18 hours. Eye drops and ointment are instilled for 10 – 14 days after surgery. Corticosteroids tablets may also be prescribed to reduce swelling. The use of ice packs for the first 48 hours helps reduce the inflammation.

    Following surgery, you will have bruising and some swelling around the eye for about 10 days. We recommend you take 10 – 14 days off work to aid in your full recovery.

    It looks like there are varying degrees of involvement of the fracture.

  8. Designdiva says:

    Thanks klmh…I have that link… I had the silicone implant but of course my body rejected it..had to be cut back open and have it removed..No fun,,, I still say taylor is a LIAR and never suffered this type of injury…… Sorry…dont cant wont believe her…

    • klmh says:

      I understand. She is a piece of work, and not in a good way.
      I wanted to tell you something and I hope its ok. The best post I ever saw on any blog was yours several months back.
      The discussion was hot and heated about twitters or whatever between Lynn and Ilana. You made so much sense. These shows and characters aren’t worth anything at all. Its what you have, your family and you are lucky enough to have PITA and Mr. Ford. Hope they are ok. I have missed reading about them. You stayed positive and I think you calmed emotions down. I wish I had remembered the date so I could look up what you said. It was inspiring and positive.
      March the 8th is another full moon, this one being the Lenten Moon or Worm, Moon,Crow Moon, Crust Moon, Sugar Moon, Sap Moon, Chaste Moon, Death Moon. We need to figure out what name we celebrate, and what we will do with this one. I go for sugar, how about you?

  9. Designdiva says:

    KLMH.. I so remember the day….Nov 6th ….and I saved my post… I have a weird habit of saving things when my INNERS tell me to…. Mr ford is depressed…No job..I am trying to cope with that ..UGH…Thank God for music and my sense of humor and GOOD FRIENDS who check in on my regularly….you gals know who you are..PITA…well what I can say about PITA….um..he;s at BOOT CAMP….LOL LOL LOL… cause I gave him the boot and FOLLOWED thru on my words… May he find his way….

    Here is what I posted on the blog that day…..

    Now for some serious stuff…then I will be done with it….and it may cause me to be banned but I dont mind..I need to say this..

    As a WOMAN that had a professional business for YEARS..I was taunted by many JEALOUS people because of my sucess and confidence.. They tried to destroy my life and livelihood… I refused to adandon my SELF WORTH because I knew in my heart who I was and what I stood for.
    All this CRAP back and forth between Lynn and Illan NEEDS TO BE PUT TO BED..
    You two are suppose to present yourself to the interenet world as PROFESSIONALS.Instead you are acting like lovers spurned… Get over it..Move on and quit with all this tit for tat CRAP…
    GROW UP… You have LIVES…. Live them…learn to turn the other cheek…
    I for one will not watch this COMMUNITY be torn apart by the likes of these two women….
    It’s time to agree to end this.. Be thankful for what you have because in an can be gone….
    I could say more but I wont… but i am ASHAMED and DISAPPOINTED where all this has gone….

    What a shame that on a BEAUTIFUL SUNDAY MORNING…..
    Life is so much more than the two of you cat fighting

    A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: “I am blind, please help.” There were only a few coins in the hat.

    A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words.
    He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

    Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”
    The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.” I wrote; “Today is a beautiful day but I cannot see it.”

    Both signs told people that the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind.
    The second sign reminded people how fortunate they were to have their sight. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

    Moral of the Story; Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

    It’s a beautiful thing to see a person smiling. But even more beautiful is knowing that you are the reason for the smile!
    Faith is not about everything turning out ok, Faith is about being ok no matter how things turn out.

    If you appreciate this message, please share. You may touch someone’s heart today and forever:

    Hugs and Peace ???

    • Thank you for bringing it over and reminding us.

      • Designdiva says:

        Empress.. anytime….. it’s good story to remember and pass on…. it should be tweeted to some people out there to come here and read..maybe they might GET IT then…wink

    • klmh says:

      Yep, thats the one. Now I have saved it as well, with your signature still attached of course!

      Loved the remark about the crow! (above)

      Tell PITA when you see him, the old grey balding beaver said howdy, and Im hoping Mr. Ford finds what he is looking for in his next adventure.( Hmm, I don’t know, maybe that description of me is a bit too much information? Well, just water it down.)

      Best to you and yours Diva!

      • Designdiva says:

        Mr ford will appreciate the balding beaver comment for sure… In fact I know he will laugh again..because that day was so much FUN here at the house and on the blog…. My ribs hurt the next day for sure.. LOL LOL LOL
        IF…. I happen to see PITA… I will tell that you said HEH…..

        Hugs and Peace

      • klmh says:

        And DIva, it wasn’t just your story. It was the whole post…

    • Viewer 5 says:

      Hi Div – 😀

    • Deco says:

      I don’t know how I missed this post of yours originally because I do remember the kerfuffle.
      It’s your posts and stories like this that endeared you to me in the beginning. I’ve said to you more than once I hear your “voice” a lot when I’m northbound on 95. Just so you know, when ever I ‘hear’ you it’s usually when I’m fighting the urge to say phucck it or I’m feeling overwhelmed by RL. The road trips give me time to think and play ‘poor me’. That’s when you pop in and remind me to smile. And the remainder of the drive is spent LISTENING to music.
      Life IS good. Mostly 😉 *wink*

      • Designdiva says:

        Deco…. clean up..dairy aisle… reddi whip huffers…. LOL LOL

        and remember…It’s okay to say EFF IT every now and makes people pause and take notice….
        Same in the seafood dept at public…HOLY SHIT eight bucks a pound for farm raised tialpia…are ya freaking kidding me !!! smiling the whole time…. Poor kids..I am sure they talk about it at school the next day..the little crazy red head diva..bitching about food prices…yeppers…that’s me……WINKS

  10. @KLMH – I can’t find that old blog of Michael’s either – his part 2 is there – but I have no idea where part 1 went. (search on Fernanda – control f)

    Lynn rearranged his blogs so maybe it got dropped by accident.

Comments are closed.