Saturday Special – I am back

Hello everyone.. yes, it is I.. Me, myself, and I. Most of you know that back in July, poor living with diabetes caught up with me and took my left leg. I now have a fake one and I spent the last 5 months in a rehab facility. I no longer have a dog as Lucy and Sally have become sisters. and are inseparable.I now have a fake leg and am still learning to use it. I think once the fit is correct all will be good. It just sucks that winter is upon us. I will write more later..

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion – Part 3

Jim is seen in some clips – a sort of The Best of Jim Marchese – many of which feature him explaining how important he is to the Federal and State of New Jersey legal systems.  He doesn’t really need to be a lawyer because he’s paid more to advise lawyers.  He’s also worked with the Federal prosecutors who handled the case against the Giudices.  In other words, Little Jim “Short Torts” Marchese is F. Lee Bailey, Atticus Finch and Alger Hiss, all rolled into one.  Too bad he’s having those character issues.  He now realizes that he had the Giudices all wrong.  They’re just a fun loving couple and he was only judging them based on what he’d seen on TV.  He also realizes that he and his wife Amber are better situated for a second season if they create drama involving the most important couple of Bravolebrities ever to hit the airwaves.   Keep your friends close, but keep the stars closer, even if you have to sacrifice all of your ethical standards.     Jim doesn’t see any problem with tweeting like a jerk, though.  The “character” committee doesn’t pay attention to things like that, according to Jim.   If it’s taken them over a year to consider Jim for the bar, it’s more than likely because they’ve yet to discover any traits in him which would be considered of good character.  You don’t get extra points for being a prick.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey Recap 11/11/14: Season 6 Episode 18 “Reunion Part 3”Jim says that he and Amber have gotten death threats, with people hoping that he and Amber get cancer, even at his place of business, due to the tone of his tweets.  Really people?  Lighten up.  All the Bravolebrities are a little nutty and rude at times, but that’s  really not necessary or nice. He says that he’s defending his family’s honor, then says that he’s just fooling around and having a blast.  Nothing is funnier than insulting people on Twitter by questioning their IQs.  When Andy points out that Teresa 1 and Juicy got more heat on Twitter than Jim does and didn’t flame the world in return, Jim says that maybe he should be paid to quit.  That’s a thought, but Jim was already paid for screwing around with cancer drugs, so I think he’s gotten enough money for doing nothing more than being an arrogant and greedy ass.   He then proceeds to tell Dina that she doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to understand him.   Teresa tells him that the next time she needs someone to dance on her grave, she’ll know who to call.  Jim would feel right at home with Kim G when it comes to that.

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There’s some chatter about the trip to Florida and everybody wants to throw Jim to the alligators.  This leads to some more clips where Jim is talking about Rino trying to fuck Victoria Gotti and then hollering that Rino fucked Teresa 2’s Mom.  He and Amber try to explain that it was a joke, because that’s some funny stuff right there.  Jim said that everyone was saying that he didn’t have a penis and was compared to a whale’s vagina.  Dina clarifies that and states that what she said was Jim was the douche that cleans the whale’s vagina.  Big difference and so much better.  Andy mentions a tweet from Victoria Gotti where she quoted he father, John “The Teflon Don” Gotti:  “I never lie because I don’t fear anyone. You only lie when you’re afraid.”   Now, THIS IS funny stuff. Victoria, who has lied about all sorts of things, quoting a Mob boss who wanted the world to believe that he was just a successful businessman.

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Rino claims that he never told Victoria Gotti that he had sex with his mother in law.   Teresa 2 and Nicole are understandably upset that this rumor ever made it to television.  I think he may have said it to impress Victoria because he wanted to have a relationship with her.  I don’t think he he actually did it.   It’s 50 shades of disgusting to even think about.   Teresa 1 says that the only reason she told Dina about the rumor was so that Dina could deliver the message to the twins while they were in Florida.  Dina says that Teresa 1 could have sent a text and accomplished the same thing.  Teresa 1 insists that she was being a good friend, and in typical Teresa 1 fashion offers nothing that even remotely sounds like an apology for her part in this mess.

Jim and Bobby are still having some sort of domestic dispute. Their long time friendship is coming apart at the seams because Jim thinks Bobby is a famewhore for trying so hard to get on the show, and a little girl for hiding in the bathroom while accusations of cheating flew around the room in Florida.  Jim says that he was goofing with Bobby but likes to be intentionally rude.   He sort of apologizes for the mother in law rumor, but then blames Dina for bringing it up during four separate camera shoots.  He’s also disappointed in the group as a whole for not congratulating Amber for being cancer free for 5 years.  Juicy tells Jim that he’s guilt of Sec. 207-4, woman abuse.  Juicy promptly went back into his coma.

Teresa 1 and Teresa 2 start on each other over the “clink-clink”, “Karma’s a bitch” comments Teresa 2 made in one of her talking heads.   Teresa 2 thinks that Teresa 1 brought Victoria Gotti and her filthy rumor to the show to take the negativity over her own crimes out of the spotlight.  She also thinks that Teresa 1 doesn’t care if she hurts people.  Teresa 1 says that she’s never hurt anyone, apparently forgetting those who provided services and materials and were never paid for them.  Teresa 2 says that being on the Real Housewives is like The Wizard of Oz, with people who need brains and hearts.  I really can’t disagree with her.  Rather than apologize, again, Teresa 1 says that she doesn’t know if the rumor is true or not.  She does concede that she wouldn’t like it if someone accused Juicy of sleeping with her mother.

Andy asks each of the women to explain what, if anything, they’ve learned from this season.  Teresa 2 says that alcohol and Housewives don’t mix.  Nicole says that she wants to stay real.  Amber says that she wouldn’t cry so much and will try to keep her husband off Twitter.  Good luck, Amber.  Melissa says that the little things don’t matter and there’s always a bigger picture. Dina says that when you walk away from something, remember why you did.  She’s all about living in her truth – not the truth, just hers.  All of the he said, she said doesn’t live well in her soul.

Teresa Giudice

Teresa Giudice starts by apologizing (finally, an apology) to her fans and wants them to know that she let them down and is determined to be a better person.  She also tells Andy that she regrets 80% of the last 6 years.  She’s most afraid of being without her daughters and wants to take them with her.  Does she mean she wants to take them to prison?  It was hard breaking up her friendship with Jacqueline, and her proudest moment was the birth of her daughter, Audriana.  While Andy takes her hand, Teresa says that this is probably going to be her last reunion but she may come back to do a cooking show or something along those lines.

So that’s a wrap on Season 6.  If I was a betting woman, which I am, my money would be on Teresa returning to Bravo after her sentence is complete.  She’s got a lot of loyal fans who are rooting for her, in spite of her legal indiscretions.  Everybody loves a comeback story and Bravo loves a big story. Teresa Giudice can deliver both.  Let’s hope that Danbury has classes in humility.

I don’t want to leave you with the impression that a return to Bravo by Teresa would be a good thing.  Bravo, not unlike most reality television, has become something very dark.  It can’t really be called entertainment because, when the “reality” has become real, it’s been a series of tragedies.  In each of the cities where the Housewives have lived and worked, there have been assaults, divorces, bankruptcies, crimes resulting in prison sentences and a suicide.  Not all of these things can be directly attributed to simply being on the shows, but, as many of us have said, it takes a certain type of person to appear on them in the first place.  Something has to be wrong with people who will do anything to be on TV, risking not only their reputations, but any shot at gainful employment, outside of more reality television, when their contracts aren’t renewed.  It also says something about us, the viewers.  If you can maintain a sense of humor about it all, so much the better.  Social media tells a different story, though, -one in which viewers become personally involved in the lives of reality stars.  Viewers think they know them and even admire them, all the while knowing and admitting that much of what they see is edited to the point of being nothing more than cartoonish figures playing roles in a theater of the absurd.  In December, the Discovery Channel is going to air a show in which a man will attempt to be devoured by an anaconda.  We should pray that Bravo doesn’t get wind of it.

Empress

 

 

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion – Part 2

Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Teresa Giudice

Andy wants to know if Teresa’s changed so he shows a clip of her talking about getting bigger boobs.   She says that she’s a better person with better values.  The twins roll their eyes.  A lot of us did.  Teresa came on the show for fun and says “Look where I am now”.   Where she is now is 60 days away from entering prison, something that she can’t blame on Bravo or her combative, fame hungry family.   After seeing some clips of Danielle and the always ugly Kim G, Teresa warns the twins about the reality of reality televisions.  Friendships  get ruined.  We see Teresa’s former friend, Jacqueline, interrogating her home girl about her legal issues.  “Are you going to jail? I want to know if you’re going to jail.  I don’t want to read about it in a tabloid.”  No, Jacqueline doesn’t want to read about it in a tabloid.  She’d much rather go on a covert fact finding mission, under the guise of a caring friend, and tweet her findings to the world.  The twins should heed the warning.

A few more clips are shown of the Giudices, their daughters and the entire family gathered together for a family portrait taken just before Juicy’s father died.   Juicy was close to his dad and it shows. Teresa says that her husband has changed a lot since the death and has been drinking more.   She also tells Andy that Milania loves to act out for the cameras and has a few favorite crew members, and some who are decidedly not on her friends’ list.  I still believe that Milania will be in charge of something in the future – either the head of the Mob or president of the United States.  It depends on what she chooses for a Major in college.  Real college – not Teresa and Joe College.

Teresa says that her recent conviction has hurt her businesses and that Fabulicious hasn’t made any money yet.  That’s what she told the court, anyway.  Juicy takes the blame for everything that happened and Teresa is still claiming that she had no idea what her plea deal entailed.  I can help her – it means that you’re not going to prison for a gajillion years. Now say “Thank you”.    Andy wants to know if Juicy is worried about being deported and he says that he’ll think about that when and if it happens.  Teresa is shushing her husband and telling Andy that they can’t talk about it.

Now it’s time to hear from the others about the Giudices and the twins have a lot to say.  Teresa 2 says that she’s not going to act like everything is fine.  Teresa 1 carried rumors about Teresa 2’s mother and she’s madder than hell.  Nicole can’t understand how the Giudices couldn’t file the financials documents the judge ordered because she handled her own divorce and, yea, that’s the same thing.   Teresa 2 doesn’t regret the “clink-clink” remarks.  Teresa 1 says she did what she was told by her attorney because she crosses all her “T’s” and dots all her “I’s”.   That’s great, not entirely true, but great, anyway. It’s the rest of the alphabet that seemed to be overlooked.

The twins are talking about Rino and Bobby and strippers and gold diggers.  Blah, blah, blah. Yada, yada, yada.Bobby Cannavale, Nicole Napolitano, Rino Aprea, Teresa Aprea

The househusbands and one boyfriend join the ladies.   Jim is lifted out of Amber’s purse, put into his booster seat, and Andy directs his first questions at him.  He wants to know if Jim has an anger management problem.  Amber says he has an asshole problem.  I thought she meant Jim was an asshole,  but she means all of those irritating tweeps and viewers – ya know, the ones with IQs of 12 – who get him all worked up.  To prove he’s got his anger under control,  Jim explains that he’ll show you what cruel can look like.  He’s got a scorched earth policy for people who cross him,  which, from the looks of his tweets, is just about everybody.  New Jersey must be burning to the ground.   He’s kind of a punk, on a Justin Bieber level, and looks just as silly with his tough guy attitude.   He thinks the only problem who have a problem with him are the ones who were born with a silver spoon in their mouths.  When Andy asks him if he’s a lawyer, he says he went to law school, graduated in 2001 but took the bar in 2013.  He’s still waiting to be admitted to the bar because he’s having an issue with the Ethics Committee.  That’s probably the only thing he said that made any sense.  Not the part about waiting a year to be admitted – the part about having an ethics’ problem.Amber Marchese, Jim Marchese, Joe Giudice, Joe Gorga, Melissa Gorga, Teresa Giudice

During intermission, Andy gets a lesson in how to pronounce Teresa.  Teressa.  Tereza. Teresa. Terezza.   Tedddeezzzzzzaaaaa!

Andy asks Amber if she really believes that Nicole is a homewrecker.  Amber says that she allegedly heard, from an alleged member of the allegedly affected family that Nicole is a slut pig, gold digging woman of low moral character,  or something like that – allegedly.   Glad we got that straightened out.

Jim is anxious to show the New Jersey Bar how ready he is to become a member by putting Bobby on trial for impersonating a Housewife.  The lesser included charge is Bobby is a fame whore.  Jim drags out a scrapbook and, amid his collection of dried boutonnieres, old Valentine’s Day cards and ticket stubs from N Sync concerts, he has proof that Bobby has been worming his way onto Bravo.   He starts waving around pictures of Bobby with Teresa 1, Melissa and Jacqueline.  There you have it, an airtight case of Househusbanding by stalking.   This causes a screaming match between Amber and the twins.  My closed captioning has given up and is displaying the lyrics to “Is That All There Is?”  Andy tells them to shut up.

Amber Marchese, Jim Marchese, Joe GorgaAndy turns his attention back to Jim and says that people don’t like the way he talks to women.  Joey says that it’s not right and then Jim makes the fatal mistake of reminding Joey what he’s said to his own sister – like called her garbage and scum.  Joey showed remarkable restraint and simply told Jim that he shouldn’t talk about his sister.   Maybe garbage and scum were a little harsh, but Joey has a point.    Family members get to say things that no on else should dare to say.  Even when they’re being jerks, they’re our jerks.

As this segment came to an end, Dina was heard to say, “This show is fucked up.”   Yes, it really is.

See you next week when we hear from Dina and Jim about whale’s vaginas , and find out if Teresa’s Xanax will get her through the entire day.

Empress

 

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The Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion – Part 1

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Mark Sanford’s Facebook Share

Woe is he

People share all kinds of things on Facebook – pictures of their families, recipes, political commentary and events in their lives.  My personal favorites are videos featuring cute animals doing adorable things.  Famous figures also share on Facebook, so when a politician takes to Facebook, it’s usually no big deal, unless it happens to be a politician whose decision to share something other than their latest missive about their work in Washington comes across our timeline.

Former Governor, now Congressman from South Carolina, Mark Sanford, turned to Facebook to tell us all about his personal struggles and the angst he’s gone through since 2009.  We already know too much about his fall from grace, but now Mark would like us to know that he’s on the road from perdition and towards redemption for his sins.   In his message to readers and constituents, he tells us, in 2,346 words, how he’s making changes in his life; that with the help of God, he’s trying to make himself a better man.  That’s great.  I’m all for new beginnings, but if you read through it all, Mark may still be a work in progress.

He’s broken up with his Argentinian fiancée, Maria Belen Chapur, something she only became aware of when she read the articles about his Facebook post.  That’s right.  She wasn’t even give the courtesy of a personal text or email.  If that wasn’t bad enough, he seems to be blaming his ex-wife, Jenny for the breakup.  You see, Jenny Sanford wants to haul her ex back into court, requesting an order for a psychological evaluation.    She’s claiming that he’s taking drugs and drinking excessive amounts of alcohol; so much so, that she doesn’t want him anywhere near their younger children.   Mark responded to these accusation by writing this:  “In simplest form I don’t understand how I can be elected by a wide array of folks at home to attempt to represent their interests in Washington, but if the Plaintiff’s view was to prevail, be required to take psychiatric and psychological evaluations to be with our youngest son.”   That’s all well and good, but if voters’ choices were a true test of someone’s psychological well-being, half of Congress would be out of office, and folks like Maxine Waters and Ted Cruz would be looking for real jobs.

He’s not taking these accusations lightly.  Oh, no.  Not only does he have God on his side but God went through his Rolodex and gave Mark the number of a good lawyer.   Mark wants peace and harmony, at all costs, and if that means battling it out in court, well, dagnabit, that’s what he’s going to do.  You see, as Mark is quick to point out, Jenny isn’t walking the straight and narrow, either.   While he’s willing to give up the love of his life and any chance at a happy future, Jenny has been dating, too.  (Oh, the horror!)  Mark explains this better than I can:  “Though Jenny herself has certainly not lived up to this clause it is clearly aimed at me given near everyone knows about Belen and in that regard it seems designed to create intrigue where none exists. The younger boys have never spent a night housed under the same roof with Belen and with the exception of one night and a major conversation that lasted well into that night, the same holds true for the older boys. I was primarily motivated to do so by a love for the boys and wanting to go to great lengths to never again put them in an uncomfortable spot. I was also motivated by fear because there was very frequently a consequence in not being allowed to see the boys if I did something my former wife disliked.”   Are you catching the drift here?  Mark is good, and Jenny, well, not so much.   She’s scary…maybe bitter.  Who knows?

There’s a lot more in his post, things about Jesus and Luke and turning the other cheek.  Most of it is self-serving and does very little to prove that he’s got a better grasp on reality than he did five years ago.   On the other had, it was Jenny’s attorneys who first brought her newest complaints to the media’s attention.   Mark didn’t help matters by responding and taking his case to the court of public opinion by way of Facebook, but this is how people act when they’ve come to despise one another.  It’s supposed to be about the welfare of the children, but it doesn’t sound like it, at all.

You can read his entire post here:  https://www.facebook.com/RepSanfordSC/posts/280140345529087

Empress

 

 

 

 

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Update

Hey everybody…. Got my comp for a few, just sayin hey.. received all your texts, luv you all for sending them.. one hell of a sat special when I blow this pop stand.. Lucy has a new mom/home and sister with my sister.. Wish I could actually speak to each of you as I know a few wont see this.. Well spread this message to any who care, love you all.. later for now, Jeff

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The Real Housewives of New York City – The Last Leg

Sonja is propped up on her bed while her interns, Pickles and Tyler, ice her swollen ankle.  This is why they need GPAs above 3.2 – to attend to Madame Morgan who falls off her stilettos after another night of drunken foolishness.   She tells Ramona and Kristen how she chased a cab carrying LuAnn and Harry through the streets of New York, only to fall on her face, then had Tyler and another young lad carry her sorry butt back home.  Every other cabbie in the city must have been busy that night.Kristen Taekman, Sonja Morgan

Josh and Kristen are at home, where, oddly enough, he is holding a meeting with an associate about their plans for a billboard for eBoost.  Kristen wants to be the young, hot model for the campaign, and, of course, lands the job.   During the photo shoot, the photographer tells her to look orgasmic and she explains how she can fake an orgasm.  She can add it to her resumé.

Sonja has to make plans for her big “Team Sonja” party and slides down the stairs of her house with Marley in her harms.   Marley had a friend put a little instructional video together on how to make it down a flight of stairs when you’re unable or unwilling to walk.  You can watch it here:  Lazy Dog Slides Down Stairs  When she finally hits the ground floor, she greets LuAnn so that she can straighten things out about Harry’s mysterious disappearance from the Carole’s party, supposedly with LuAnn.  LuAnn swears that she wants nothing to do with Harry Dubin – been there, done that – and that maybe Sonja needs to put a leash on him.   Sonja intends to confront Harry.

Heather and Carole are at Love, Alex, looking at a line of handbags.  They also talk about Heather’s son, Jax, and the level of success he could achieve with surgery on his ears.  A second doctor wasn’t quite as optimistic as the first and Heather doesn’t know which one to believe.  Carole tells her to go with the one she trusts more.  Heather says that Jax  doesn’t think his ears are so bad and she wonders if she should just trust her son’s instincts.

Sonja and Harry have their sit-down and Sonja tells him how upset she was that he left her behind at the party after giving her a friendship ring.   He apologizes and says it was stupid and that he thought she’d meet up with them later.  She reaches into her purse and hands the ring back to him, telling him that this is the end of Harry and Sonja.

Carole’s apartment renovation is complete and her kitchen is no more.  It’s now her office.  When Heather and Kristen arrive, the talk is all about Aviva.  I don’t know why, other than they’ve found out that she’s going to the “Team Sonja” party.  Kristen thinks Aviva is an outsider, as she’s really been out of the loop, and has missed just about everything the ladies have done for most of the season.  The three agree that they’re confused about her myriad ailments which seem to appear and disappear just as quickly.  Carole says that she’ll be politely rude because it’s been like a vacation without Aviva around.   It really has.

Bravo treated us to a little filler where Ramona and Carole discussed dating.  Ramona wanted Carole to know that Fabio, from Harlequin novel and I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter fame,  chased her for a while.  She also told Carole that she and Mario were like a thunderbolt when they met.  They still have hot sex.  The word on the street is that sometimes it’s with each other.

It’s time for the “Team Sonja” party at Le Cirque.  The guests are there, but the hostess is not.   “Team Sonja” is an eclectic mix of folks – an image guru, a dog groomer, a plastic surgeon, various psychics, Satoko the facialist,  ten lords a leaping, nine ladies dancing, eight maids a milking, and Aviva.  Aviva makes an entrance, accompanied by ominous music, which sets off a new round of chatter among the other ladies.  When she does arrive, Sonja is surrounded by a herd of interns.  According to her talking head,  she’s up to her eye teeth in business deals, all of which are in contract stage.  She may be using the interns as collateral.Sonja Morgan

Sonja has written a speech for the event and Ramona is upset that she didn’t take some time to greet her guests first,  Sonja ignores her and starts reading what she’s written.  It a rambling novella, much like her Bravo blogs, all about her aura and her brand and the people who make up her Team.   Some of the ladies, understandably, giggled though it.   When she finally finished her salute to all of those who made Sonja the woman she is today, she made a beeline to Aviva to make sure that she was still riled up over the others.  Sonja calls them emotional vampires and Aviva says that they’re all mad at her.   The entire group finally gets together and Aviva tells them she’s lost an unplanned 10 pounds.   Kristen says that asthma should make you gain weight but she’s still that pretty tool in the shed.

When they sit down, the ladies confront Aviva over all of her issues.  Kristen says that this is more than asthma and Aviva tells Kristen that she’s been a horrible persons.  Carole says that no one believes Aviva.  Aviva then tells the group that her doctor lied to her.  She has an x-ray with her name on them but says the doctor forged them.  They didn’t look like chest x-rays to me, but I’m afraid to tell Aviva what I think.   She then throws the x-ray at Heather.  One brave soul said that it looked like an x-ray of her breast implants. Kristen Taekman

Aviva isn’t quite through and says that her doctor forces her to take asthma medicine and that they should call him to get the truth.   She takes her argument, and storyline, full circle and begins hollering about Carole and the ghost writer nonsense.   As if she hadn’t made a complete fool of herself by this time, she then shouts that there’s only one thing fake about her and slams her fake leg onto the table.  LuAnn is laughing hysterically.  Kristen wants to vomit.  Aviva, who has lost whatever dignity and sense of pride she might have had left, further insults them and us by picking up the leg and throwing it across the room.  Way to go, Aviva.  That’ll teach ‘em for doubting your sanity.   She then looks around at her audience and asks if they’d be happy if she just crawls home now.  Assuring her that that is exactly what they don’t want, Carole picks the leg up off the floor, hands it back to Aviva and tells her that this isn’t right.  And it isn’t – on any level.   The only thing she didn’t do was mention the Kennedys but maybe she saves that for her Twitter rants. Carole Radziwill

All I could think about was Heather Abbott, the woman with the prosthetic leg from Boston and how she was feeling after this.  Carole says, “It ain’t over til the fat lady sings or the crazy bitch throws her leg down.”  If you care, this is Aviva’s explanation as to why she threw her leg.  http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/the-dish/aviva-explains-why-she-threw-her-leg  Okay, whatever.   The joke is on us.

Next week is part one of the reunion.

Empress

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